ok trying again with ex. Update for some of my readers

[male2008]

Hi

 

well wanted to let you know guys know that have read my previous threads I broke up with my GF for 2 years about 4 months ago. Because of issues and problems. you can read my preavious posts if you wanna know more.

 

after posting a thread about this getting back together,

I have spent the last couple of days thinking about it.

 

I spoke with her an said that we cant keep being in contact like this if we are suppose to get over each other. Like that phone conversation was 45 min about everyday life how are you and so on. I told her that either we needed to cut all contact or try again. I said give it 3 days to think and then meet and talk.

 

Well I spoke with my friend he gives me no bs answeres and my dad. They made a few very good points.

 

1. If you try dont accept any BS and be honest with how you feel.

2. Your not married to her if it dosent work you can always break up again. Then you will be 100% sure it wont work.

3. You obviously still have feelings for her so instead of cutting contact see what happens. Then in 6 monthes time you won think what if. Then you will know. Wheter your still with her or you guys broke up.

4. Give it time and work on the issues, do it private dont announce to everyone your back together.

5. Who cares if you start dating her then 5 weeks down the line you find its not right. In the big picture 5 weeks is no time at all.

 

So I meet her and I still feel like she is the most beautifull girl. Their where sparks flying. But I made it clear. If either one of us feels its not right then we break up no hard feelings. If we break up we intitiate no contact straight away. Also being honest and working on our former "problems." She told me she still loves me and wants to try again and feels the same way about the "rules" as I do.

 

So know we will have to wait and see. At least I can get closuer or get it to work. Also the thought of NC was just to much for me and to think of the possibilaty of regreting it later.

[male2008]

anythoughts?

[BeStrongBeHappy]

If she wants to get back together and you want to get back together than do it...

 

If there were specific problems you had in the past, then you should make an agreement to work on those problems, rather than planning the rules for how you will break up next time. You need to make a full commitment to making it work, and discovering whether it can work or not.

[male2008]

Yes your right and we did talk about the previous problems. We are going to work on them and if they resurface we will be honest about it. thing is I couldnt break contact with her without trying one more time. Dont want to look back and regret not trying.

[male2008]

Any more thoughts or advice?

[bepositive]

If you're both willing to work on it, definitely get a counselor, at least to get started. That is probably the most definitive step that both of you can take to demonstrate your sincerity.

 

Good luck,

 

BP

[spion_kop]

If you're both willing to work on it and I mean REALLY work on it, dont try to waste each other's time. Talk about issues, give each other the space needed and most importantly take things slowly.