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There is Light in the Darkness

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Hi folks. Those of you who have read my other posts (at least, those having to do with myself) know that like many of you, I came here in a time of need, and that was in October of 2006, when I was dumped by my ex-girlfriend.


Things seemed so bleak then. My every waking moment (and these drove themselves into times where I wanted to sleep, but couldn't) was tortured by thoughts of her. Thoughts of our time together. Thoughts of what I could have done to prevent this. Thoughts of what I could do to get us back together. Thoughts of everything having to do with her... She was, as they say in The Matrix, a splinter in my mind, driving me mad with grief.


The rational side of my brain was constantly shouted down by the emotional. It didn't matter what had actually happened or what I or she had actually done, the emotional side of my brain kept telling me that it must have been my fault, that there must have been something I could have done or could do now.


My imagination could not stop replaying every minute I had been with her, including our breakup, which I must have seen over a hundred times in my mind.


I tried to remain friends with her for about a month, and finally realized it wasn't doing me any good and cut off communication. If you are hurting, and talking with your dumper ex is hurting you, you must stop or you won't heal. I think it was about this point that the pain, very slowly, started to lift. I started thinking about her less and less. It takes time for this to happen, and while other things like socializing with friends and talking about it with loved ones can speed healing, only time can ultimately do the job. I think, for me, it took a good two months to be in a state where I could fully function again.


I'm currently about to ask my girlfriend to marry me.


If you had asked me back then whether such a thing could happen, the rational side of my brain probably would have said yes, but the emotional side would have screamed no, there's no way, she was the one, there can be no others as good as her...


But the emotional side of my brain would have been wrong.


If you've been dumped, if you're in pain, know that there is light in the darkness. It will find you. Don't give up hope... the world is a truly wondrous place where amazing people live. You will survive. Your life will go on. Your pain will lift. And you will find that happiness that eludes you now.


You cannot see it, but your life will be full again. Full in ways you cannot even imagine.


As for love... well, just keep an eye out. You never know whose blog you respond to may be your future companion.

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I wish all the best of luck to you and your future. Thanks for sharing your encouraging words that you found through your experiences. I agree that time is the medicine for all emotional hurt and pain. The memories will always be there but you will learn to cherish the good ones and continue to search for more. Even if it is with someone else. Life is too short to live day by day encaged in depression.

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