AnotherBrokenDoll Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 Hear her words, Watch her tears, Feel her pain, Know her fears. Understand her addictions, Touch her broken heart, Be her guide, Hold her when she fears she is falling apart. Love her imperfections, Love her because of them, Love her beauty, Heal her scars when you can. She longs for you, She dreams of you, She wishes for you, She believes in you. Don't let her be wrong, Come back, Come back where you belong. Link to comment
Jeen Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 I really love it. It has feeling. Easy to read and filled with emotion and thought. Thanks. Link to comment
Piper182 Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 i dont no if i should say this but i think i will... im a creative writing major in college... read and write for a living... i think you need to read some more poetry. i dont want to be mean. you definitely have the emotion behind it but not exactly the technique to get it accross. try describing scenes as the old adage says, "show, don't tell." sorry if this was mean, i didnt mean it to be. Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted August 24, 2008 Author Share Posted August 24, 2008 Thankyou jeen. Lovely to get your comments. Piper don't worry, i actually love to write and generally don't write like that. I myself thought it was insanely dodgy. Though you being a professional probably would think that about all my work Its totally fine and i really do know where you are coming from. It was just a random rumbling i wrote down on a piece of paper and decided to post for the heck of it. I generally fail with love stuff anyway haha. Thankyou for your imput and no it wasn't mean at all. Link to comment
ferretman22 Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 I disagree with Piper, I think it conveyed its message perfectly. I was mad at my girlfriend for something stupid, i read this, and I remembered how much I love her. Thank you, I saved this onto my computer for later. Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted August 24, 2008 Author Share Posted August 24, 2008 Haha thankyou ferretman, im glad you liked it Link to comment
girl friend Posted September 5, 2008 Share Posted September 5, 2008 Wow beautiful, moving, sensitive, touching, loving... Who do you dream of AnotherBrokenDoll. They'd be lucky to have you whoever they are...x Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted September 6, 2008 Author Share Posted September 6, 2008 Baha they are long since gone. In actual fact i don't think i'm dreaming of a specific person. Much more the feelings of having someone there, so really i'm talking to anyone who wants to listen.. Now see thats lame Link to comment
Dagless Posted September 6, 2008 Share Posted September 6, 2008 Baha they are long since gone. In actual fact i don't think i'm dreaming of a specific person. Much more the feelings of having someone there, so really i'm talking to anyone who wants to listen.. Now see thats lame That's not lame, that's reaching out to touch somebody and that's what poetry is all about. Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted September 7, 2008 Author Share Posted September 7, 2008 Thanks, its just generally i try not to think like that. I think about whats real and whats right here and now. Whats possible. So to be thinking like that feels funny. But thankyou for your kind words. Link to comment
Beoslasher Posted September 8, 2008 Share Posted September 8, 2008 I really like the passion, at first its like the poem is asking you to listen and then its like almost trying to force you too. Its beauty is in the delivery. I was never really big on structured poetry, its the ideas behind them, and i really like it =D Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted September 9, 2008 Author Share Posted September 9, 2008 Thankyou, im glad you liked it and im kinda with you. Structured poetry can bore me sometimes. Its all in the topic, im glad mine was okayy. Link to comment
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