Jump to content

Untitled - love poem

Recommended Posts

Hear her words,

Watch her tears,

Feel her pain,

Know her fears.

Understand her addictions,

Touch her broken heart,

Be her guide,

Hold her when she fears she is falling apart.

Love her imperfections,

Love her because of them,

Love her beauty,

Heal her scars when you can.

She longs for you,

She dreams of you,

She wishes for you,

She believes in you.

Don't let her be wrong,

Come back,

Come back where you belong.

Link to comment

i dont no if i should say this but i think i will... im a creative writing major in college... read and write for a living...


i think you need to read some more poetry. i dont want to be mean. you definitely have the emotion behind it but not exactly the technique to get it accross. try describing scenes as the old adage says, "show, don't tell."


sorry if this was mean, i didnt mean it to be.

Link to comment

Thankyou jeen. Lovely to get your comments.


Piper don't worry, i actually love to write and generally don't write like that. I myself thought it was insanely dodgy. Though you being a professional probably would think that about all my work Its totally fine and i really do know where you are coming from. It was just a random rumbling i wrote down on a piece of paper and decided to post for the heck of it. I generally fail with love stuff anyway haha. Thankyou for your imput and no it wasn't mean at all.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Baha they are long since gone. In actual fact i don't think i'm dreaming of a specific person. Much more the feelings of having someone there, so really i'm talking to anyone who wants to listen..


Now see thats lame


That's not lame, that's reaching out to touch somebody and that's what poetry is all about.

Link to comment
  • Create New...