Piper182

i dont no if i should say this but i think i will... im a creative writing major in college... read and write for a living... i think you need to read some more poetry. i dont want to be mean. you definitely have the emotion behind it but not exactly the technique to get it accross. try describing scenes as the old adage says, "show, don't tell." sorry if this was mean, i didnt mean it to be.