bravegirl04 Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Last night, i received the most fustrating news. It's so amazing how the truth comes out. The past 3 months, i have been talking to a new guy. I've actually known him since the 6th grade, but we recently just met up and started hanging out. I shouldnt even say weve been hanging out, because we really haven't. All we really do is just sleep together, thats all it's been. We will sometimes go out to the club, but there, he acted as if he didnt know me. I just took it as that was the way he is. In the course of 3 months, we have never had the conversation about where it's going between us. I have just been riding it out..and letting whatever happen, happen. But it just got so fustrating, i had to know how he felt about me. So i decided to bring it to him. I told him how these past few weeks, i have been feeling like I am not good enough for him. I feel like no matter how hard i tried to show him that i liked him and he should give me a chance, i will never be good enough to win his heart. He came back and said this, "man you need to chill out with all that, were just friends i dont like you like that and i dont know why you thought i did. i dont wanna be with anyone anyways". I was like wow!!! So i said to him, basically this whole time you have used me, correct?? If we were truly just friends, why would I sleep with you almost 3 times a week, and why would i give you money when you said you really needed it? You led me on and you know that. So I told him we can't even be friends anymore, I am so embarrassed, it would be really hard to continue this. Then he says "see thats your problem, you always depend on a man to make you happy, but whatever, best of luck to you". It was so embarrassing to find out that this whole entire time, he had absolutely no feelings for me. And it wasnt what he said, it was how he said it. The way he said it to me, made it seem like i've been asking him about this every single day, and finally he got so irritated with me asking, he just flashed on me. But that wasnt the case. Never have we had the conversation about us and where its going between us, and if he likes me or not. I'm not a mind reader, he certaintly acted like he was at least a little bit interested in me. But i cant even be mad, ive been thru this so many times, it's nothing. It just sucks tho, cuz i was really feeling him. Does anyone understand where im coming from?? Link to comment
Samedy Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 He sounds like a snake. A lot of people put different weight on sexual intimacy. Some people treat it as casual as putting on socks, others believe there is more of an emotional attachment towards it; a great value. It is not good to feel used, but at least you now know you were being used, which you can use to protect yourself from letting it happen again. I think the next time, before having sex, you should talk to the guy about where you see the relationship going. It could be an awkward conversation, but it seems you put value to sex. And if you're ready to have sex with someone, and show yourself to them naked, then you should be ready to expose your feelings to them too. Link to comment
lapseinjudgement Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 yea that guy sounds like an a.. Seriously thats not alright i dont like people like that. Im sorry that that happened to you but at least you did speak up and can get outta that situation and keep yourself from being used like that. Link to comment
summerpeach Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 He's a jerk and the world is filled with losers and jerks. Consider this the first hard lesson on how to weed out the jerks Link to comment
thejigsup Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 It's okay to have sex without emotions if that is how you feel. But it is showing no class to not tell your partner you feel this way. You have lost nothing but a man who is not worthy of you. Link to comment
starlight40 Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Ugh, i hate men like that, why not jut be honest with you from the beginning and you would have had the option to side step this jerk. The sad truth is he probably was using you for sex hence him not being honest with you but the good news is, you are a good person and he isnt- good luck to him with his happiness in life hey? hel need it. Dont feel bad hon, it happens to the best of us x Link to comment
Seraphim Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 It really makes me mad when people have sex with no feelings for the other person. I agree they should tell people up front if that is the case, the reason they don't is cause they will never get anyone into bed with them. Then you find out they are a pig after. ARRRRRGH! Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 What an arrogant jerk!!! Some guys are so casual about hookups they think it is the norm. But it's GREAT that you had the guts to talk to him about it early on rather than really having your heart broken later. Don't feel bad... not your fault he's a jerk, you just discovered it! Link to comment
thejigsup Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Hey, I've had "no strings sex" a few times and I'm a very nice person. The casualness was mutual. It was just physical attraction, which many people confuse with love. I know the difference. Link to comment
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