What do I do with her!!! PLS HELP I'm lost

[Blah213]

Hello all,

 

I'm very very very confused. I don't think I've ever been so confused in my life. My girlfriend and I are going through a difficult time. Things should be great, but they aren't. For one, she is infatuated with me. She is so in love with me, it's crazy..

 

I was just like her a few months ago, but I've slowly drifted apart from her lately and I'm not sure what I want. I no longer find myself attracted to her, or wanting to be around her a lot. She ALWAYS wants to be around me and is very attracted to me..

 

I guess I've drifted apart because of some conflicts that we've had that have remained unresolved. The thing is that she is quite insecure about our relationship. She's always saying "You don't love me, you hate me, you're going to leave me, etc etc". She says this if I act slightly annoyed or she says something that she thinks is stupid.. you get the point.

 

Another thing that has been a HUGE issue is our sexual relationship. We've been sexually active for about 3 months now. I USED to finger her about every time I saw her, but then basically completely stopped because she NEVER does anything to me. She feels totally uncomfortable doing it, which is ok and I told her I understood, but it's been getting ridiculous. She teases me and taunts me sexually which isn't cool. I think I just want her to do something for ME for once, instead of me always doing things for her.. I think there should be a balance in a relationship and things are totally unbalanced when it comes to this.

 

We started having sex, but that is awful. She too tight and almost wimpy where we can't even do it. I go in about 3 inches and I have to pull out because it's too painful for her. We've tried about 4 - 5 times.

 

I'm so confused!! I love this girl.. or at least I used to. I don't know what I want and I don't think I could leave her. I'm too afraid of being alone and I'm too afraid of her hurting herself. She has said I'm the only good thing in her life and she'd rather die than lose me. I don't know what to do!! Please help me!

[thatguy04]

Well, if you havent already, maybe you should tell her how you feel, get things straigtened out with her. Hope things work out for you.

[QTpie87]

i say you sit down and tell her how you feel. if the relationship is good then you two should be able to sit down and work it out. i mean it too. me and my ex went through almost something like that exept for the sexual part and never talked about it, and one day we both just blew up and went crazy. you need to talk about it before something like a really big fight comes on, or (if there already has been a fight) before another one happens. the more you love eachother, the worse the fight, the worse the pain, but if you can work it out the more the forgivness.

good luck,

love Qtpie87

[VickiRose]

I think relationships should be balanced, I totally agree with you... But it sounds like the reason she hasn't pleased you, is because she has lack of experience... When you get intimate with her, tell her what you want, maybe you can even show her, and let her know it's okay...

 

Next, when you have intercourse with her it might be painful, because there isn't enough foreplay, shes not relaxed, or lack of lubrication...

However, if it is still painful for her after she is relaxed, foreplay, & lube is used. Recommend, that she should see a gyno. There is a condition that some woman have when sexual intercourse is painful... Its where the vaginal muscles tense up and make intercourse painful or even immposible... Sex should be pleasing on both sides, not painful.

 

Also, she acts slightly insecure by saying things like,

You don't love me, you hate me, you're going to leave me

You have to make the decision whether or not you want someone like this around you...

I hope, I could help...

[shelly242004]

I agree with what I've read from other members...and to add I think you should- after you've talked about it- try giving her oralsex, she won't get very lubricated and ready for full intercourse if she isn't wet enough...if you don't like doing it, or don't know how- learn to like it and learn how to do it. Maybe she'll realize that you're trying to do what it takes. It sounds like she's probably a virgin or just very shy about sex or maybe she's not ready.

The next time you are together try NOT fingering her for at least 25 mins..kiss her and let her relax and get into it. Touch her on top of her pants, then after 10 more mins..try her underwear- don't go under them, see if they're wet, if not- keep kissing her, hold her tight, softly play with her breast, kiss her neck-slowly, with gentle sucking motions, then check the underwear, after 10mins of that she should be wet..then just rub her vaginia, don't rush to finger her, it's nice to see how wet you can make her and how much she'll enjoy feeling you touch her tenderly, then give her oral- that always keeps a woman wet...then while you're giving her oral...wait awhile enjoy the taste, the feeling, the way she moves, watch her to find out what you're doning right or wrong, don't be rough just lick her softly,and keep the same pace!; if she grabs your head she wants it harder, then do it a little harder, then slowly finger her- you'll notice how much easier your fingers go in- it's worth the work; after that she'll be wet and open and ready for you-but put it in slowly..rub the tip around her entrance first, then slowly, pump your 3inches in there, then try an inch more..and so fourth; that SHOULD work.TRY IT