I've been single for too long!

[GettingBetter]

Try this: see a guy you like and smile and say hi, keep an eye on him and see if he looks back at you and them smile again and wait till he looks away. If you can, go ask if he needs help finding something and when he leaves make sure you go out of your way to say good bye. If you do that and the guy is interested he will be back in a day or so looking to see if you are working. You don't have to ask them out but you can make it a lot easier to ask you out.

 

That's a really good one. I've done that before, but alas my memory is so bad that I usually can't remember when I went there, so I end up going back some time when she's not there.

 

Also, where do you go and what do you do to meet people? I, for one, very rarely approach a stranger. Usually, we have to know each other somehow before I'll ask a girl out. And even then, she has to show some interest. (I'm also a bit on the shy side.)

[renaissancewoman101]

Ever since I started actually looking at people when I shop, I noticed how different some couples look. I see a LOT of hot guys with not so hot girls, and the opposite. I hope I am not offending anyone... but it just made me realize that I could get a bf as easily as any of those girls...but I don't have one, so it must be the vibes I'm giving off... grrrrr....

 

On that note, how does one control the vibes they give off???

 

I'm not good at flirting, but if I'm in the mood, I can flirt with a guy, provided he is receptive. I did that with my ex. I went up to him, chatted him up, and flirted with him and his friend. That led to him asking me to join him and his friend for dinner. We had a great time and the rest was history.

 

And my ex was pretty good-looking to boot. I was actually quite surprised to have landed him. Even my first ex, now crazy good friend, was pretty cute too.

 

I don't think I'm ugly but I don't think I'm that good looking either, and the height causes problems.

[ghost69]

well, i guess your only option is to wear a custom shirt that says you are single and looking for a man, but they have to make the move on you. that should work.

[SupaflyTNT]

If I feel like I can't talk to a girl I'm attracted to it's only because she:

 

1) Won't look at me (not always necessary if #2 is there).

2) Won't smile at me or anyone else (looks unapproachable).

3) I do talk to her but she doesn't talk to me (shy, isn't into me, whatever).

 

Otherwise I'll talk to any girl.

[ghost69]

If I feel like I can't talk to a girl I'm attracted to it's only because she:

 

1) Won't look at me (not always necessary if #2 is there).

2) Won't smile at me or anyone else (looks unapproachable).

3) I do talk to her but she doesn't talk to me (shy, isn't into me, whatever).

 

Otherwise I'll talk to any girl.

 

1 - you don't need a look to talk to a girl

2 - do they all owe you smiles?

3 - what is it you are saying?

[StrawberryYogurt]

Maybe you don't put yourself in a position to meet a lot of guys, esp guys with similar interests as you (eg, sports). Most guys won't approach girls out of the blue, for good reasons.

[SupaflyTNT]

1 - you don't need a look to talk to a girl. I like looks, but no you don't

2 - do they all owe you smiles? smiling in general, approachable, you know

3 - what is it you are saying? all sorts of things, not every girl wants to talk to me...surprisingly

[stella74]

I think more guys are shy than we realize. I've been noticing this lately. Recently, I was at a cafe by myself and saw an attractive man with a male friend. He stared at me and smiled. I smiled back. He looked embarrassed and turned away. I was standing in line right in front of their table. So I kept looking. He looked again, saw I was looking, smiled really widely and got a sort of flirtatious look on his face, and he kept the gaze. I kept looking and smiling, and then he said, "hello." I said hi back, but he didn't initiate any further conversation. He got a nervous look on his face and looked away. I kept thinking to myself, "you seem attracted to me, why don't you say something more than just hello?" LOL

 

Anyway, I sat down and he kept looking at me. But he wouldn't initiate any more contact. I sat and thought about it. I thought, hmmm, maybe he has a girlfriend or maybe he's gay. Or maybe he's simply shy. I considered going up to his table and starting a conversation, but I decided against it.

 

I like SupaflyTNT's idea of waving. I might try that next time!

[drewciouS281]

how do you carry yourself? do you act stuck up or anything like that? This attitude you have is only manifesting more of it! Change the attitude first then you will reap the rewards. You have to be happy with yourself and who you are and appreciate who you are as aperson and within alone time or you will not find anyone worthy in your eyes. Alot of it is state of mind and people sense that like radar!

[GettingBetter]

Haha, that sounds like me. No girlfriend, not gay, just shy.

 

Like I said, I don't approach strangers. I need to know I have something in common with a girl before I ask her out, so I usually end up meeting girls through class or some sort of activity or organization. So if you're not involved in activities like this, then guys like me (I'm assuming I speak for a small but decent percentage of the population) aren't gonna ask you out. Plain and simple.

[Manco]

Yes ladies, it's very important that you give the right signals. You have no idea how important, especially when us men don't have the necessary excuse to approach you. Interactions take two people not one.

 

Waving is the best way to get a guys attention. When I was with a friend of mine outside the music store I saw a random girl inside and just because I was feeling good that day I waved to her. I wasn't interested in her or anything but I still waved. She waved back immediately. If she was my type I would have been there talking to her and asking her out.

[Gratsy]

I don't think you should go up to the guy because I've had guys give me those looks as if they wanted me and then when I took a risk they rejected me. Probably just seeing if they could get me or something.

[May_It_Be]

Said guy needs to get out of the high school mentality and GROW UP. C'mon, we're all adults here in this dating world, GET SOME BALLS!

[Shudder]

haha i used to be like that. but now I'm not anymore, I can talk to anyone. The trouble is now nobody really shows interest.. that or maybe i need to work on not being so oblivious :s

[stella74]

It's good to know you're not like that anymore.

[Konfetkette]

Maybe you don't put yourself in a position to meet a lot of guys, esp guys with similar interests as you (eg, sports). Most guys won't approach girls out of the blue, for good reasons.

 

I don't know I'm in college, and no one in any of my classes ever asks me out, even if I start talking to them first.

[DaBladeRoden]

I would be too nervous to ask out a girl in class, so many people, packed into such a small place, everyone could overhear

[Konfetkette]

I would be too nervous to ask out a girl in class, so many people, packed into such a small place, everyone could overhear

 

Umm well I wouldn't call a lecture hall small

I don't know why anyone would care what others hear even when I do have small classes.

[Daegas]

I would be too nervous to ask out a girl in class, so many people, packed into such a small place, everyone could overhear

Ask her out, if she says no, ask her if she is a lesbian.

[Daegas]

Ever since I started actually looking at people when I shop, I noticed how different some couples look. I see a LOT of hot guys with not so hot girls, and the opposite. I hope I am not offending anyone... but it just made me realize that I could get a bf as easily as any of those girls...but I don't have one, so it must be the vibes I'm giving off... grrrrr....

lol! these are the kinds of talks me and my best friend have. We are both very attractive girls but somehow can not get involved in a relationship! Maybe i should be a big time B**ch, maybe guys will like me more then. lol. I see all my other friends already in long term relationships, others planning on having babies, planning for the future and they're all in love and blahhh.. lol great!

Where do you girls hangout and how do I find girls like you?

[Konfetkette]

Well I met a guy!

At match

but it doesn't matter.

We had a date.

 

We love THE SAME THINGS. We watch the same shows, movies, both are huge nerds. I felt totally comfortable with him during this meeting (not even a date).

 

He is not completely my type body-wise, or clothes-wise, but I've been so stubborn about finding the "perfect" guy, that I think I should just let my stubbornness go a little. I am kicking myself since December for not going out with this guy the second time, who was so close to perfect, it freaked me out! I have big issues about relationships and being hurt...but I wasn't over my ex then, so it might have something to do with that. This guy moved out of state since then so it's not like anything would have lasted.

 

There is no such thing as a perfect guy (except for the December guy, LOL). And I will probably be alone forever or for a very long time if I remain so stubborn.

Besides, it's just dating.. no one has to get married (like my friend said when I told her, ha!)

 

There are other guys I talk to on match, who I will probably go out with during the next few weeks...but I just don't see myself being comfortable around them so fast. I think this guy is one of those who won't think any less of you if you don't look your best one day. I mean the other guys I talk to probably won't either... but who knows. Am I making any sense? LOL

 

btw, awhile ago I started a thread about a guy who didn't pay for coffee. Well because of that, plus a few other things about his PERSONALITY, I didn't go out with him again. But this guy does not drink coffee, so I just bought myself a cup... and somehow it doesn't seem bad, because there were no problems talking to him.

 

Oh yeah, I started this thread regarding meeting guys in RL. Online does not count as meeting guys to me. It counts once you MEET. But that's different.

 

Haha I don't think I am making any sense at all. LOL.

[Gratsy]

Personally, if I had changed my mind about a guy, I'd contact him and say, "I understand if you have a gf, or if you don't want to, but I think that we should go on another date. I liked you at the time, but I wasn't ready to date, which now I feel like I am."