Complicated... Lost Best Friend Of 10 Years...

[InvisibleWound]

Ok this is going to be very long, but I thought I was over what happened but I guess I am not I am still confused by it, and angry, but let me share the story of what happened...

 

 

June 2007 my best friend was working at the call center like I was, on different shifts but for a while he liked his job. Anyways he wanted to take a course online but wanted a laptop so he had asked his mom to help him out and she wouldn’t since she had co signed for a car for him, understandable. He did not have the credit so he wanted to get a laptop and digital camera put on one of those credit cards where you do not pay interest for 6 months. And if payments were still being made after the 6 months then you got hit hard with interest... Anyways he came to me since I have good credit, already had my own credit cards and a nice amount of money saved in the bank from my job. So he asked me if I would, I said no. Now a week prior to this he asked me if I wanted to buy his computer, now because it was way better then the one I had I did, I spent 500 dollars, despite not knowing how horrid the video card was, so now my gaming does suck but that is besides the point. I did not actually have the computer yet because he told me I could not have it until he had another one lined up. One day he asked me to go for a drive so we did, well guess what we parked right infront of the mall he begged me to put my name on the card so he could get it. And promised he would make the payments on time. I got thinking of how bad I wanted his comp to play WoW, so I gave in. We went into the Source did what had to be done and he got a digital camera and a laptop plus small accessories for each (i.e carrying bags, mouse, mouse pad, extra memory card) in total it was over 1800.00 charged to the card. Now my big mistake was having faith in him, prior to this 8 months ago he borrowed 400.00 dollars from me and still did not pay it back, but I kept forgetting about it.

 

Anyhow he got what he wanted, awesome and I had my computer for WoW that has the piece of * * * * video card lol... Anyways the mail came to me for the payment due date since it was in my name, first payment and every payment after that was $20.00, he told me he would pay it all in the 6 months, because he worked at the same call center I worked at I believed it... I asked him when he could pay me and he said pay day, so pay day comes around I remind him of the payment and he says he doesn’t have the money, needs the rest for gas to and from work, obviously being the caring and what I think understanding person I am I let it slide. I actually went ahead and transferred 50.00 dollars from my bank account to the card. The next month comes, its 2 weeks before payment is due and I let him know when I want the 20.00 dollars to make the payment. Same issue as before he did not have the money, so I put 50 dollars on it again. The 3rd month comes, same problem. The 4th month I never reminded him of payment and got scared because he quit the call center job... Luckily he picked up a new job but it was less paying and less hours, add that with a car, yeah... Anyways I paid for both items myself, and they were paid off a month before the contract ended. After Christmas I asked him and he said he would have 100.00 dollars for me on his next pay day. So anyways pay day comes and again he says he needs it for juice, ciggerates and gas. I let it slide. Feburary comes and I quit my call center job as well due to stress.

 

Anyhow he went from working at the local clothing store to working a town over at a gas convience store, making about the same as the old job but more hours. And at this point he gave his car to his brother and his brother since then has taken over payments and its his. So he had to get a cab to work everyday. Every time I asked him about money he would say “I got more hours this week so I can”, “I might be able to, it will depend.”, “I don’t know...” It is now August and I have not seen a cent of money he owes me. I also did something stupid, 4 months ago he needed help with rent so I lent him 200.00 dollars, big regret since it cut down on my funds. Anyways like I said not a cent. Back for most of February/March he was living in my home town at a friends house and he often let her use his laptop she moved and has the same laptop that I paid for... He still has the camera close by though. A month ago I wrote him a email telling him I was angry with the money situation and wanted him to get the laptop back in his hands and not let someone else be using it like that since we cant see what is happening with it or anything. Ever since January 2008 he has had problems either at his old job, his partner kept dumping him and cheating on him and his grandmother died, so I did not bug him for any money during this, but still. Every time he did have money he couldn’t even give me a 10 dollar payment, and thats no money considering he owes me 2400.00 dollars. I know most people would not put up with it.

 

The last 3 months I have vented to my sister about it because she vented to me to since he has owed her 100 dollars for 2 years Anyways I will admit we bad mouthed him a few times but it was out of disgust and anger. Whenever he could of given one of us some money he was out buying things he did not need, getting pets that he was just throwing out or giving away (oh and in the winter he actually threw one of his cats in the snow and never let it back in) its probably dead but all because it pissed on the floor! Talk about stupid, I was not there when this happened but I was very mad when he told me, sorry off topic. And he drank all the time when I could of got money.

 

I found out that Friday night he read one of my sisters msn chat logs between me and her. He has stayed at my parents house for the past week since he works at the store down there. Anyways he came on msn Friday night while I was sick and running a fever and started running his mouth and saying things like “Once upon a time I would consider you my best friend but yer just a f*ckin liar!” So when I asked what he was talking about he said he did not want to get into it then blocked me on msn and removed me from facebook. I was worried that whole week that he would read her chat logs so I assumed thats why he was mad, when I asked if he was there he said he wasn’t. I did not believe that so the next morning I called my mom and she said he was there and sleeping on the couch. So I wrote him a email since he had me blocked, and yeah I lashed out at him for invading her privacy. He was mad at me because I bad mouthed him a few times, but I felt in my situation I had the right to. I mean god he has owed me money for a year now, over a year counting all of it! I also found out that my mom got mad at him for looking at my sisters chat logs and he lied to her saying he offered me money and I refused, * * * ???????? When someone owes you money who refuses?

 

Anyways he wrote me back a big email saying that he did read the chat log and apparently it took him 30 minutes to read and it was all about bad mouthin him. He said he thought he could trust me and my sister and is disgusted in both of us so he said he did not want to speak to either of us. I reminded him about the money and kinda again lashed out some more. I’ve been easy about the money the last month because he got fired from his job and is now working weekends at the store, so no money. But I reminded him every time he could of given me at least a 10 dollar payment he didn’t, because he was out buying booze. So he wrote back saying he was not going to stop living his life for me ever and that I would get the money eventually but he did not know when. I was upset by this because I was not asking anyone to stop living their life, it was the fact that when he had money he did not bother. My dad on the other hand when he owed him money he got it back. And I know he pays my dad back because if he didn’t my dad would come after him, that is the way my dad is, he does not let people push him around... Me on the other hand I do but not always meaning to, I guess I am just to shy/easy going

 

So while all this has happened I still have no money, he has the camera and that girl he is friends with has the laptop. I am really worried since we are no longer friends I will not get the money and something bad will happen to both items...

 

I don’t know what to do. When we were friends we told each other everything, went out often for a walk, maybe ice cream, hung at each others house, now this. Our 10 year friendship has been through even worse childish things as this, now all the sudden he really wants it to be over. Not that it matters, I kinda do and don’t care. I just want the laptop and camera for myself or the money for the items... Rightfully I feel they are mine, but there is nothing I can do about it...

 

Honestly because of the fact since this has happened I know he has told people what happened and I know he is saying bad things about me and my sister and stretching the story with some added lies. I know it was mean of me to saying mean things about him to my sister but I was so mad about the money I just couldn’t help it and the laptop issue. We never made a signed contract between each other he just said he would make payments every month but never kept to his word. I saved my credit because I wanted to.

 

I just am so mad on the inside though. Mostly because he also is being a * * * * to my parents since they are taking my side, but they know what happened even before this with the money. So of course he made some threatening remarks in the last email saying that “Everyone has their demons” blah blah blah and that I should be careful with what I say or his tongue might slip some of my secrets. I mean f*uck! I am 21 and he is 20 we are not kids, threatening and * * * * is dumb. I just made it clear that I wished out of all this I could of had 1 payment from him to show trust but I didn’t. He was not broke 24/7.

 

My relationship with my boyfriend has suffered for 2 months mostly because of me having to deal with the financial stress of having no job and my ex friend never being able to pay... What is worse is he knows all my secrets good and bad, and most of my sisters and knows way to much about my family. So now I gotta wait and have more stress of a bomb dropping with lies or secrets being unleashed.

 

I don’t want to deal with it. I am so scared and worried, I really am. He was my best friend we had good memories despite the last year it went all to hell, both our faults. Our friendship suffered because of me sometimes not wanting to even be around him because of the strong hate and disgust building..... Ugh... the only good thing is that my relationship with my boyfriend especially on romantic/sexual level has increased greatly... He has been doing a lot for me, plus taking care of both of us since I have no job yet. Some people may remember me complaining about my sex life before in previous threads and the fact that I was not spending enough time with my guy. Well now we spent more time together and have good sex So anyways wanted to share that. I am happy and more in love with him now.

 

Ask for the ex best friend, don’t know what to say, do or think about this. I just feel that I am defiantly not going to not get my money or at least just get the laptop and camera and it can be done with... Sorry this was so long... I am just so pissed off at what has happened over the weekend and all the raw feelings of hate towards who I thought was my friend... Feel free to leave comments or advice. Sorry it was long and whoever reads thanks for listening to my vent.

[Clementine orange]

Hi, I got through most of your post. Maybe I can sum it up by saying:

 

You lent him money, he can't/won't pay it back.

 

I recommend giving up and figuring that you just learned a (I think) 2400 dollar lesson. Since you have nothing in writing then you have no case in the court of law.

 

If you want more responses or advice please, please, please be more succinct. Cut out unneccesary information and get to the point.

 

I"ve actually seen posts here on the break up of 30 year marriages that were shorter than this one!

 

No offense.

[InvisibleWound]

Yeah sorry, I tend to really get into it when I am writing

 

All because I am a writer of poetry, lyrics and stories maybe, not that it matters but it might be why it was so long...

 

But yeah my mom thinks I won't get the money and believes it is a lesson learned.

 

Still upsets me though not knowing for sure whats going to happen, but meh I guess.

[Clementine orange]

Still upsets me though not knowing for sure whats going to happen, but meh I guess.

 

There is a way of knowing what is going on. Make it "going on" yourself. Tell this person that until they come up with the money then they can "mod edit" themselves and go to "mod edit" and you will hate them and disrespect them the rest of their lives and good riddance and all that.

 

If they come up with the cash then all will be good...the choice is theirs.

 

That's what I would do I think.

 

edit: here is am getting all mad FOR you ha!

[schizo]

I'm sort of going thru the same thing you are right now. I just lost my best friend of five years and he owes me a crap load of money. Like your friend, he swears up and down he's going to pay me back "eventually"... But I'm trying really hard to just except the fact that he will probably never give me any money. You probably should do that too, and if he does pay you back, it will be a pleasant surprise.

 

Me and my ex best friend will probably never have a good relationship again, because there is a lot going on besides the money issues, but hopefully you guys can work it out because losing your best friend really hurts! If you guys do make up...make sure you don't lend him anything anymore lol

[InvisibleWound]

Thanks schizo, yeah I am trying hard to just accept that I am not going to see the money... It still makes me disgusted on the inside and after he said some of the stuff he said to me I don't know if I ever could be his friend again

[25thfloor]

invisible...i didn't even get past the part about the kitty. that would be it. he's a horrible human being. sue his butt in court, turn him into the humane society...do what ever you need to do to rid yourself of this parasite.

[Shyguy24]

You dont need a signed contract to get your laptop back or the money whichever you may want . Get a lawyer take his ass to court and sue it for getting your laptop back and then sell it on Ebay ..get something back for it .

 

Forget this dude ..,he is just a manipulative human being or otherwise know as the slimy loser, with a very low self-esteem . You have been totally manipulated to the point of breaking point. This almost happened to me in Uni..when i lent a friend 100 pounds ..but i got it out of him by taking his laptop and told his ass ..u want this ..get the money by tomorrow period . These people deserve no sympathy or any kind of 2nd chances.