Ladies: what do you think? (kinda long post)

[jul-els]

Hello,

 

There is a co-worker of mine whom I have a crush on and I seem to notice signs of interest coming from her, too. As a matter of fact she was showing a lot of signs of interest but I was very slow on the uptake due to having just come out of a 2 1/2 yr. (difficult) relationship. I think she was a bit put-off by the fact that I was not reciprocating her level of interest in the same way she was. It wasn't that I don't like her, the fact is I do, I just wasn't in a place emotionally that I couldn't just really go for it wholeheatedly, if that makes sense.

 

Well one of the people in our office got laid off this week, and I offered to buy him and his wife a drink at the bar after work if he was interested, and he said yeah. So I also asked this girl to come along with us. She is a good friend of his. So she said ok, see you there. When we met up she brought along a male companion. It was kind of odd, as if to say to me that by asking her to join us for a drink, I was not asking her out, and she has her own options. Which is fine, but seems like a kinda high-schoolish tactic to me. I realize by saying this I am making myself sound very presumptuous and full of myself but I can assure you I'm not. It's just my take on the situation. The guy she brought was a guy that she ended up leaving the bar with on an earlier occasion whilst both myself and the guy were making attempts to chat her up, so to speak. Just the overall vibe I get from her is that she is a bit disappointed that I am not being a bit more aggresive, but like I said I was licking my wounds from a former relationship and at that moment in time not real into the idea of dating or relationships. I must add that I am feeling better about that recently and more optimistic and ready to start making ventures into meeting women again.

 

So anyway, yesterday I asked her if she wanted to go out for a drink after work and she said yes and the other (now-ex) co-worker was going to meet us there a little bit later.

 

So, her and I were hanging out talking having a good time and also getting a little deep about personal stuff like my relationship and her going through a divorce and the recent death of her father at which she cried right there in the bar. I consoled her and I think she just needed to let it out, so that's cool but the conversation wasn't mostly like that. Mostly it was just chit-chat and I actually find her to be very engaging in conversation. Good personality, sense of humor, she just strikes me as a generally good person. I am finding myself to be quite fond of her, actually.

 

So, while the three of us are at the bar, I ask her if she wants to come over to my house, there are about five bars within a one block radius, and we can go have a drink over there and then hang out at my house. She agrees. Cool! So she follows me to my place, I point out my house to her and we proceed to walk to get a drink. We go there have two rounds, more good conversation, watching and laughing at the fellow bar dwellers. It was a good time. Then we leave the bar, head back towards my place and she says she needs to go in to use the restroom. I say, of course, I apologize before going in explaining that the place wouldn't be so messy if I knew she was coming over. She says no problem, you're a guy, don't worry about it. So she comes in, gets a gander at my place and seems to like it. After returning from the powder room she comes out, we both have a moderately strong buzz. She says she likes my place, yada yada, but she's gotta go because she has to get up early to see her family in the morning. I suggest we hang out and she can pass out and I offer to take the sofa. She says, no she has to get up early, but next time. So after asking her to hang I realize I don't want to over do it so I say ok. I was concerned about her ability to drive but she says she's ok. We hadn't drank too much or anything, but I knew she was buzzed and wanted to be sure she was ok. She said she was and seemed to me like she probably was so I let her go.

 

So, now we're getting to the part I'm really wondering about. I go in for a hug and trying to see if I could get a kiss out of it, and as we moved in I kind of tried, not trying to be too aggresive. As I moved she seemed like she was probably going to do a peck on the cheek so I moved for the lips and she seemed like she was totally cool with that but still going for the peck. I wanted to really plant one on her but I wasn't sure if that was the time, probably not, so as our lips were going to meet, I just kind of turned slightly so that it was like kind of a kiss that was not a peck but turned into a hug. She seemed pretty receptive although I know the time was not right to really go for a full on kiss.

 

The next morning I texted her to make sure she got home ok and she said yeah and thanks and she had fun. I said yeah me too. So my question is this: how do you think I did? I am just asking because it's been so long since I've dated or had any interest in anyone that I don't feel real strongly adept in this field at the moment and I am interested in this girl and I would like to take it slow while letting her know I am interested in the potential of seeing where it could go. So, what do you think, did I come on too strong? Not strong enough? Does she seem to be interested? Just wondering so I figured I'd throw it out here and see what response I get. Thanks.

[Ruede]

I think you did just fine personally! How much more could she expect?

[D_Lish]

Sounds pretty much, a normal first date to me and I don't think you came on too strong at all. Most people kiss, at the end of a first date don't they? And I've never minded that a guy has kissed me, at the end of a date.

 

I think she has an interest, else she wouldn't have accepted your offer to meet for a drink. I'm unsure how much interest she has though, only she will know that...

 

But so far, it's looking good.