10 months and no orgasm

[maynards_razorblade69]

Hi!

I've been going out with my boyfriend for about 10 months now, and it's been great, except that he can't give me an orgasm. We've tried loads of stuff, I've masturbated in front of him, we've had sex while he's trying to rub against my clitoris, he's stimulated my G-spot and my clit, he's used his fingers, mouth and penis, we've used dildos, vibrators and I still can't reach orgasm. I can reach it perfectly well on my own, but not with him. It's not that he's no good, or that he doesn't try, he does, and he's very good, but I don't know, maybe I get tense. He always tends to stop before I come as well, believing he's not getting me anywhere, when he is, and I can't find the words to tell him to carry on. I make him come a lot, no problem, and I think he's starting to think there's something wrong with him that he can't make me come. I'm, however, thinking the opposite. What's wrong with ME?

Any replies or tips would be very useful.

Thank you to all.

Lottie

[Mar]

Not to worry, I'm the same way. The GOOD thing is that you're not faking it just to please him, and that he's trying everything he can to give you pleasure.

 

I think you'd be surprised by the number of women who can't achieve orgasm with their partner, but can on their own. I can't, several of my female friends can't, I'm sure some people on this board can't, etc. How many of them will ADMIT it is another story!

 

From what I've read on the subject, it just has to do with the way the male and female "bits" fit together. A woman's sensitive spots (i.e. clitoris) are right at the front and tucked up towards the top/inside of your labia, which is a very hard spot for a man's penis to consistently hit! You may also be right in that you subconsciously tense up because you're putting pressure on yourself to achieve an orgasm, so you lose the sensations you ARE getting. Relax. If you're enjoying it, let him know that. Have him try oral for awhile, if he has no objections, since the tongue is a much more flexible muscle and can get to those "hard to reach" spots.....lol Plus it's a gentler touch and he can stimulate more of an area. But most of all, don't keep thinking of the end result, just concentrate on how it feels right that second, as he's doing it, and let him know how it feels.

 

But don't stress him or yourself out over this. It's natural, happens to many, many women, and it all still feels great, does it not?!

 

Mar

[Ash]

Yes, as Mar says, definitely relax, relax, relax!!!

 

Some things to try to help in that way:

 

1. Consider having a drink or two before you start. This will help ease any tensions you might feel, and help you with any inhibitions you might have, or deal with any self conscious issues that might exist

 

2. Take a nice warm bath with him in the room to attend to you. This will make you feel very comfortable with him.

 

3. Let him do personal things for you, like brush your hear, and give you back and shoulder rubs. Again, these things will relax you.

 

4. Use candles instead of regular lighting to set the mood. Scented candles can work particularly well for setting a relaxing scene.

 

Let him know about one of your fantasies, and see if he wants to take part. It's possible one of these little scenarios being acted out for real will put you over the edge. He'll be more than happy to oblige, there's no need to feel nervous about this.

 

Good luck.

[IMyselfAmHell]

join the club. i can't help you, but maybe it'll be nice to know that I and a lot more people than you think are having the exact same problem. one of my friends says she can have one by dry sex. i don't even know if I believe her, but i know some people have one easier than other people.