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Not sure what this means... but I think it's a good thing


itsme915
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3 months ago, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me soon after she left for college. In emails I would get from her, she'd tell me how happy she was with her decision and how she would do it all over again if she had to. How she had no regrets, and how she had no intentions of ever asking me back. Well now that we've been pretty good friends for the last month and a half or so, hanging out about every other weekend, she's started to say things like "I'm not saying we are going to get back together, but I'm not saying we're not.", as well as things like "I'm sure I'll get engaged someday. Maybe even to you.".

 

Now, of course, this is so good to hear from her, but, do you think she actually means it, or is just saying it to keep me happy? We have such a good time when we're together, and the reasons that she broke up with me are being dealt with right now on my part with counseling. Also, we have pretty much agreed that experiencing new people may be a good thing for us as a couple, and will just make us stronger. So, that is why I think her saying those things is a very good sign for me. Which means I just have to stick it out. Comments?

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Personally I think she is just stringing you along and keeping you in her back pocket "just in case".

 

Do you really want to be her consolation prize? Wouldn't you rather be someone else's number 1? Imagine getting back together with her and her telling her friends "Yeah, well he's all I could find so he'll do for now". Yuck!

 

Be good to yourself. Let her go. If you want to still be friends thats fine. But don't hang around waiting for her. Go out and find someone else who will be thrilled that they found you. You deserve that. Everyone deserves that.

 

avman

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Avman is absolutely right, I couldn't have said it better myself. How insulting is that, that she thinks it's acceptable to lead you on with these vague statements about MAYBE getting back together with you, but MAYBE not? What kind of game is that? She previously stated she never wanted to get back together with you, and I'd bear that in mind. Maybe she's single now and, as Avman said, keeping her options (i.e. you) open and available. NOT acceptable, and in fact very disrespectful/insulting.

 

Friends is fine. But get on out there and find someone who KNOWS they want to be with you, and enjoys you and appreciates what they have in you, unlike your ex! It's your life-don't let her dictate it to you.

 

Mar

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Okay, I definitely see where you're coming from. But, at teh same time, wouldn't if she did happen to come back in a few months, be a huge compliment to me? Such as, I really was what she was looking for, I'm what she wants, etc.

 

The way I see it, I'm pretty stuck on the whole grass not being greener on the other side deal. So after she does do a little searching, she realizes maybe I was who she wanted to be with.

 

Being on the back burner is definitely not a very good feeling, though. Going from number 1 to just in case is tough. But, then again, I reall do think that us experiencing others will, if it was meant to be, get us back together. I know she is ready to do that, I however, am nowhere near ready to be dating again.

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But, at teh same time, wouldn't if she did happen to come back in a few months, be a huge compliment to me?

Well ordinarily I might say yes. But given what you have described and the way she has been talking, in this case I don't think I would see it that way. I still think if she came back it would be temporarily and then she'd be off chasing the next shiny object that caught her eye.

 

I do understand when you say you aren't ready to date yet. Thats totally fine. Heal up and take as much time as you need. My only point is not to let something pass you by because you are waiting for your ex to come back.

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It's hard to say. I think that once this is out of her system, she'll be fine settling down with one person. Before she said this, she told me that if we ever got back together that it would be for good, because she didn't want to have to hurt me again. So, it seems as if she really truly does just want to almost make sure that I'm what she wants.

 

I really do need to move on, but, it's almost as if I'm scared to. It still baffles me how I need to forget about someone in order to get them back. Why would I want to forget about someone whom I care about more than anyone? But, I do need to try to move on emotionally, even just a little bit. Her actions/words play to big of a part in my life still, and that is not good. That's where this huge rollercoaster comes from. And it feels so bad.

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Hey,

 

Well it's seems like a good thing that she wants to get back to you and maybe you are having all this mixed feelings because you are kinda unsure yourself. One part of you wants her back but the other part of you tells you to be careful cause you don't want to be hurt again.

 

You've got to decide for youeself whether you are you willing to take this gamble. It seems like she does wants to come back to you just that she doesn't really know how to put it. Give both yourself time and see how it works out. All the best....

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