Meeting an online friend in two weeks...

[independantgal]

I live in the UK, I'm 18, going over to America (Florida), my friend lives near there, hes driving up to spend some time with me. We met in October, online. Talked very frequently at first, talked on the phone a lot, then kinda drifted cause of money! And being busy but, got on great!

 

I know hes genuine (won't bore you with details) We are just friends nothing more.

 

Over the past few months though hes done a lot of growing and changing. He went out with a girl since he was 16, broke up at 21. When we talked he was pretty cut up about it, and I had emotional stuff going on at the time so we leaned on each other.

 

But yeah we have both kinda changed, him more so, getting a job, moving on from his ex realising a few things you know? I can sense hes changed, but hes a good person and I respect him a lot

 

Its just...sometimes I feel like I can't be my total self anymore...because he could think I'm childish...I think my whole perception of it is stupid...I mean he does a lot of the same things, partying etc and he isn't exactly totally mature. Sometimes values contradict a little, cause of culture but you know...nothing big.

 

I'm not too sure whether...I feel more nervous because hes a guy, (I don't have that many guy friends) an older one then me at that (22 soon) hes also quite good looking...I don't like him any more then in a friend way...but you can't help but notice hes attractive! and it makes me a litle insecure...I've also opened up to him a lot with problems, and the idea of not having met him "properly" but having him know all that stuff about me...makes me feel...weird...or kinda closed off.

 

ahh I'm just nervous! and I'm scared that if stuff is uncomfortable or whatever that he won't bother with me anymore, at all...to which I know I would be upset. The idea of hanging out with him is strange! After having kept most conversation to MSN, because of lack of money for calling. Any tips on how to loosen up? or points of view i could think about before meeting him i.e theres no need to feel that way because...etc

 

I was thinking of suggesting going to universal studios theme park? and also bringing my sister along...so its less awkward....then I think if he gets on better with my sister...well i'd feel BAD! lol! Help? any other suggestions on what we could do to "hang out?"

[JeckyllNHyde]

i think you should defnitely bring your sis along and also go to the theme park. it's way less akward then sitting and having lunch haha.

try to keep reminding yourself this is the same guy you speak with on Msn, even though face to face is much diffrent. you can still have great convos but it takes a while (SOMETIMES) to really get the convo flowing. so just kind of act like you're old buddies b/c in reality you are.

[independantgal]

Yeah, good point Its also sometimes....well, when I've called him in the past, I've ran out of things to say and there have been little awkward silences, maybe thats cause hes working though and hes just tired...but you know. I'm scared of that happening. Ah its the whole age thing that gets to me too...I don't know how to get past 'you get on good with this guy! His age doesnt mean hes on a different wavelength to you!' you know? ahhhhh haha

[JeckyllNHyde]

lol.

well i think there may be akward silences.. but you don't have to really see it as AKWARD. just a silence. it happens even with best friends or people you always hang out with. silences are kinda inevitable.

besides.. you guys are friends and not really looking to date. so i think maybe that's less pressure. also.. he tells you about all hisx problems, work, etc. so he must think you ae on his wavelenght. or else he wouldnt. trust me. all you know maybe he thinks your mature for your age.

if there are silences just eat or look around. i'm sure it will be fun at he theme park and there will be lots of stuff to talk about.

[independantgal]

Yeah I never thought of it that way

 

Obviously if he wants to come see me so he must think the wavelength thing too He could have said hes got a lot on etc.

 

I'll try and get myself "ready" before I see him too, haha I don't know about anyone else but I have certain stuff I can do that sometimes helps my confidence before sometimes nerve racking situations.

 

Thanks for the advice!

[JeckyllNHyde]

your welcom. good luck.

p.s. i'd be nervous too! something about first encounters or encounters after a long time..

[independantgal]

Yeaaah its strange lol. Glad to see I'm not alone

 

I think the weirdest part would probobly be seeing him walking over to me! I'd be like...is that really him?! haha

 

Have you ever met anyone from online? You sound a little experienced

[JeckyllNHyde]

haha yes,.. it isss very exciting seeing them walk in. but i usually only find so when i have romantic feelings for them or hope to date them.

 

i met my current bf like this though i'd seen him in person once at this party. he was the lead singer in the band. so it's not entirely the first time i saw him. I ended up arranging a meeting for us 2 yrs later after chatting online all that time on/off. we could talk for ages.

 

but.. i also met an online friend. he is also older then me by 3 yrs. and he knew soooo much about me. (we where goodfriends back then, now meh.. not so much. he got his gf, i got my bf and we're both kind of living our own lives. also, he became a bit.. "down putting". i dunno if it was the age diffence and he though i was "dumb" or something for my age.)

the first time we met though.. i was shy around him since we had only spoken online/via phone and he knew alot about me. he came with a mutual friend that day. we never had feelings for each other either.

also, me and him never make time to spend time together offline, which is why we only have good online chemistry. if we met up more maybe we'd be better "real life" friends.