why do I have these dreams

[Aricks3]

My husband has cheated on me 3 times and every time before it happened I had a dream about it happening and It came true and I still have these dreams I don't know what to do I feel so afraid that he is going to do it again I know that most people would have left but we have two small children and I really love him I decided to work things out with him. He thinks that I should give him my full trust and it has been hard I don't know what to do. He is starting to be distant to me he don't ever want to have sex or even be around me I feel neglected please will some one tell me what I should do.

[Supa_gurl]

I think you should confront him again on infedelity. IMO He seems to be showing the same signs. I understand about having 2 small children, but you may be hurting them more by them witnessing this.

[Aschleigh]

What you tolerate, continues.

 

Is there a way to separate from him until you can do enough marriage counseling that you know he takes full responsibility for his actions and will never do it again.

He is cheating on you, but he is cheating on his family too. He creates an environment that lacks trusts and is stressful to you. That makes being a mother to two small children even harder.

Are you financially depend on him? Why else would you stay?

Do you have a plan? Do you have supportive parents? Can you make enough money to support yourself?

[Supa_gurl]

BTW I just gave this to another "dreams" thread poster:

 

link removed

[Aricks3]

Its not only the children that I have to worry about I have been with this man for 6 years I think my thing is having a fear of being alone I don't know I love him so much I mean Here it is 2:00 he left here at 8 and he not back yet he was supose to just drop of an app and he still not back and thats why I cant have that trust not only that he says I'm controlling because I wont let him go to the clubs with his friends or have female friends and I tell him no and he says thats controlling well I say whatever how do you let someone go if you are in love with them thats the hard part that I don't understand

[ilivetolearnabc]

Please do yourself a favour, don't depend on him to love you cuz obviously he's doing a lousy job at it.

 

Book time off to go out with your circle of friends, family, or simply just go somewhere on your own to chill without the kids. Have him babysit.

 

Set rules, if he wants to go out, let him go out, as long as you get a turn. If he wants to have fun, let him have some fun, provided he understands that he needs to be faithful to you.

 

He must have the same trust in you to be faithful to him as well.

 

In the meantime, dress up, look nice when you go out. Dress to kill, but make sure he's not going out with you.

 

Show some independence and you will gain his respect.

 

In order to control the situation, you have to let go of control.

 

When you start to have a life outside, you will see much difference in yourself, your own perspective and as a result, he will change too.

 

If he doesn't and still cheat on you, then, girl, it's time to move on.

 

Yes, the kids will suffer for a bit, sorry to say. But if its only the kids that are binding this marriage, what you can do is arrange of very frequent visitation from dad.

 

Go for seperation. Let dad take them for the weekend and in the meantime, you can chill while he has them.

 

If he disagrees, it's because he's using you as a maid, not a wife. Think about it. Show him you are not a maid.

 

Seperation is not as harsh as divorce and make sure it's at least 3 to 6 months long. In the meantime, go to counselling. Communicate.

 

Explain to kids, that daddy and mommy love them very much but need to work things out. Do not fight infront of the kids ever. Its traumatizing. They think it's because of them you are fighting. They take it so personally.

 

Being separated will ease the tension meanwhile you can fight for what you deserve.

 

Good luck.