Girls....you do expect this....don't you?

[Raincheck]

I've been dating this girl for about 1.5 months now, we are exclusive. Since the beginning I have been moving in sexually on her, but slowly over the time we've been seeing each other. Like first a tap kiss in the beginning...moved on to french kissing...then touching...etc, so far its been up to deep second base. She told me she has her limits and has stoped once or twice, like which I respect 100% and makes me like and respect her that much more. You girls do expect a guy to move in further and further sexually (with your consent of course) as you progress in your dating relationship correct? It doesn't mean you will accept it, but you don't think of him as perv for trying right?

 

She has accepted my advances, but at her pace if that makes sense. I just don't want her to think that I am super horny...its not wrong, to make very slow and subtle advances everytime you get semi-intimate with her right?

[ghost69]

1.5 months...how often do you see her?

 

and you are exclusive? wow, no moves. weird.

[Supa_gurl]

As long as it is not the ONLY thing you do everytime you are together. I see no problem with it. And I applaud her for having the strength to show her limits.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Well, you just have to be careful about it. If she says no, how long do you wait to try again?

[Cognitive_Canine]

1.5 months...how often do you see her?

 

and you are exclusive? wow, no moves. weird.

 

he seems a little young, ghost.

[Roasted Carrots]

I think it's all about the moment. If it feels right. But you should also keep open the lines of communication. If she's stopped you at the same place twice, then don't try it anymore. If things are getting hot and heavy, instead of just "trying again", maybe actually talk. Say "Would you be comfortable if we did X?" and see what her response is.

 

It would also help to have this conversation outside the bedroom. What her limits are, and how long it would take for her to be comfortable with X. As hard as it seems, you have plenty of time to reach all the bases at a comfortable pace.

[agent1607307371]

It depends.

 

If someone keeps moving in after I tell them my limits I do expect to tell them where to go.

 

Making moves is fine and expected, but moving over limits that have been laid out isn't good practise.

[brian123]

How old are the two of you? If anything I'd talk to her about this, or maybe hold off for a wile. Let HER make the move when she is comfortable. I'd just go as far as you've gone on the past and let her be the one to move things forward. I think you'll get more, faster, better with this approach.

 

The girls that usually hold out are usually the best/freakiest when the time comes.

[riley123]

I agree with RC, it's really a judgment call based on the moment.

 

For now, I would resolve not to be overly aggressive the next time you are fooling around. The only way you'll become a pervert in her eyes is if you keep trying to cross the boundaries she asked for.

 

Just go with the flow and enjoy the ENTIRE ride!

[Raincheck]

It depends.

 

If someone keeps moving in after I tell them my limits I do expect to tell them where to go.

 

Making moves is fine and expected, but moving over limits that have been laid out isn't good practise.

 

That's the thing. She didn't specify any real limits. She simply said ONCE, "I HAVE MY LIMITS" she didnt say what. I think she meant, she goes at a pace because everytime I amp it up just a bit.

 

1.5 months...how often do you see her?

 

and you are exclusive? wow, no moves. weird.

 

What do you mean no moves? I just said we fool around, touching...heavy makeout, that kind of stuff. Not all girls are ready to give you oral sex or full sexual intercourse after 1.5 months...some girls have class. And we recently became exclusive, like a week ago. I see her about 1-2 x a week. Most once a week.

 

 

he seems a little young, ghost.

 

You seem a little young....I am 23 missy.

[ghost69]

23? wow. dating exclusively for 1.5 months and pretty much just kissing. i'd be put off.

[agent1607307371]

That's the thing. She didn't specify any real limits. She simply said ONCE, "I HAVE MY LIMITS" she didnt say what. I think she meant, she goes at a pace because everytime I amp it up just a bit.

 

In which case I would take her seriously and have a serious sit down talk about what those limits are. But thats just the power player in me talking.

 

Seriously though, do talk to her about this. If for no other reason than to cover your own back if things go sour.

 

Mostly though, I think that if someone states they have limits, but doesn't tell you what they are, they're playing games a bit.

[riley123]

Do you know if she’s a virgin?

 

1.5 months isn’t really that wrong to still be ‘just kissing.’

 

I’m a guy and I’ve made a personal decision not to sleep with anyone unless I’ve been involved with them for more than a few months. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that – just the choice of the individual.

[NorthDallas40]

It seems like it would be helpful if she would TELL you what her boundaries are. Otherwise all you can do is what you're doing. But as long as you're ok with her, it sounds like you're going along at a pace that's comfortable for both of you.

 

It would be way too slow for me but I *am* just a horny guy. :splat:

 

Not all girls are ready to give you oral sex or full sexual intercourse after 1.5 months...some girls have class.

 

You might want to offer some apologies to a few of the female posters on this board after that comment. Wow.

[Pegasus]

She might have a class by not having sex early on or she might think that you're a gay by not making advancement or maybe she's not attracted to you enough to give you the full access, but we can't know what it really is because there are millions of possible variables in that system.

 

You say she haven't said where the boundaries are? Are you expecting them as a company merging agreement with signatures from witnesses? You are (well, at least you should be) a man - so your job is to test boundaries by ACTIONS, not by asking where they are.

 

From my own experience, I've noticed that real boundaries were much far away then I ever thought they would be. Try it - the only thing you can get from it is knowledge - where do you stand with her...

[dream83]

You've said that she has actually stopped you twice, then said she has limits. Did this occur while you were attemtping to so the same act each time? If so, it might mean that that particular act is where she's drawn her limit.

 

Also, this is kind of a sidebar, but it's something that caught my attention. You talked about girls not being ready to give oral sex too early. I hope you're keeping in mind that oral sex is a two-way street, and that the girl's satisfaction (i.e. receiving) is also important if that act is going to enter the picture. Not saying that you're only concerned about when you're going to get it, but the way you phrased that kind of caught my attention.