I thought I would hear from him by now.

[ycmanvs]

keeping in touch does NOT mean that you wouldn't be able to heal. It would just be slower. NC is not the panacea for everything. If you think keeping in touch is beneficial to you, do it. NC seems to be the "cookie-cutter" advice that is always given out here. Sometimes things are not as cut and dry.

 

Actually NC does work for me better than anything else.

I did NC for 3 months and I was feeling great.

As soon as I got back in touch with him, all the old feelings and doubts came back. I wanted to believe in him and in our relationship, but the fact remained that he was going out with other women and lying to me about it and telling me that he only wanted to be with me.

 

If the couple does not work towards a common goal, the relationship cannot work.

If he wanted to talk to me, he would contact me. In our last communication, I put the ball in his court. I told him that should he ever want to talk, I would be there.

 

He has made no effort to contact me, so I know that he is busy doing something else. Why should I chase him or contact him and let him know that I am thinking of him?

 

He does not want me in his life and that is fine because it will let me move on.

 

I am very sad and lonely but I am hoping that these feelings will not last forever. This relationship was one of the worst ones of my life. From the beginning, things were bad. There was no honeymoon period or anything great, except the sex...and that is not enough to keep two people together.

 

I am at a point in my life where sex does not rule me any longer. As a result, I can make better choices for myself.

[tatanya4me]

Ycmanvs, good for you! NC works for you then. I've been in the position of having to do NC for about 5 months. All it did was make me cry a lot and pine for him. I went out and dated (nothing panned out), joined new things, etc., but inside I still was sad and cried for him. On the 6 month, he reappeared in my life (somwhat), and we decided on a friendship. That helped a lot. For me, all NC did was make me cry, be sad, and miss him. I didn't get the same positive effects as others did. I don't know why.

[ycmanvs]

Ycmanvs, good for you! NC works for you then. I've been in the position of having to do NC for about 5 months. All it did was make me cry a lot and pine for him. I went out and dated (nothing panned out), joined new things, etc., but inside I still was sad and cried for him. On the 6 month, he reappeared in my life (somwhat), and we decided on a friendship. That helped a lot. For me, all NC did was make me cry, be sad, and miss him. I didn't get the same positive effects as others did. I don't know why.

 

It all depends on the situation. My current ex was not a very nice person, so having him as a friend would not bring anything good into my life.

However, I have other exes that I do keep in touch with. They are very good friends and they are people who I treasure.

If you love someone and they are a part of your life, then it may be possible to stay in touch with them, even though a romantic relationship is over. Sometimes, after enough time has passed, and both of you have moved on...you can re-connect and have a wonderful friendship. This can only happen if the two people are truly healed from the relationship and know that there is no chance for reconciliation.