I'm so SICK of this!

[sunflower_girl]

This morning, I woke up angry and had a sick feeling deep in my stomach. I contacted him (again) last night. Why? Why? Why? I'm so stupid! Once again, we texted back and forth, I asked "how come we never communicated unless I contact you first?" and he replied "because I'm with my girlfriend 24/7. She is not ashamed to tell her parents about me." I was caught completely off guard...this was a reference to something that happened a YEAR ago and he was still holding a grudge against me for it. Even though he said that there were "no hard feelings"....he obviously resent me.

The conversation turned into an argument, he kept making references about her and I told him how tacky he was being. When I started dating again, I did NOT flaunt my new boyfriend at him. We're too old to be acting like children! I think that when people start living on their own, paying their own bills and working...it's time to grow up and stop being passive aggresive. I asked him he wanted his ring back and he said that I can throw it away, sell it or give it back..it did not matter. Another 10 minutes of texting I asked why he hated me so much and he said "because you're a f*** ***** ***"

 

WOW. I've never been called that in my life. That was...low, crude, and intentionally hurtful. Coming from the person who I had once loved dearly...

 

Why do I keep doing this to myself? He obvioulsy wants nothing to do with me. I need to block him out of my life!!!

 

Once again, starting NC today. Please wish me luck.

[Papillion]

Good luck.

 

And dont contact him again!!

[Clabs]

Hey Sunflower

 

Ouch - that has to hurt.

 

Please be strong and keep away darling because this is exactly why you have to not be in contact - because you will end up feeling weak and feeble and - WORSE than if you didn't contact him.

 

You know this now and I have a feeling that you won't need any luck this time around.

 

Come on here if you feel like contacting him, ok?

 

Keep your chin up darling.

 

Mark

[sunflower_girl]

Clabs,

I just feel so ashamed. This is the same guy who caused me so much heartache....we broke up 11 months ago, but I'm still acting like a fool. To be honest, I don't even think I WANT to be with him anymore...I'm matured and I need someone who is focused on their future/someone with ambitions. This man dropped out of college and need directions in life. He loves drinking way too much and responsibility way too little. I can do better! So, why do I keep contacting him about ever 3 weeks since the breakup? I think I miss the IDEA of him...the idea of the ideal lover. I've dated since but nothing serious...It is time for me to let go.

I just feel so ashamed. I looked back at some of my old treads on enotalone and thought to myself, "wow, THIS is the same guy. Can't you see how badly he treated you?! What is wrong with you?!"

[Clabs]

Hey sunflower

 

Don't beat yourself up hun - ok? What is done is done. But you really need to learn from this. He didn't even treat you well, did he? And you want to go back for more?!

 

Don't be ashamed - be kind to yourself ok? If you have been texting every 3 weeks then you have just strung this whole thing along.

 

You will be stronger and wiser this time - won't you?!

 

Take care hun - we can help you get through this.

 

Mark

ps How is your foot?

[mca1975]

i agree, stop beating yourself up, we have all done it, doesnt make you a fool or a bad person, just forgive yourself, accept that you are human and doing the same thing a thousand trilliion people in this world have done before and make a pact not to do it again, but if you do, then forgive yourself again and make another pact! you will soon get bored of contacting him and getting this abuse. this way of looking at it will work and also when you stop, he will be wondering where you have got to, so that will be a sweet revenge! good luck!

x

[richmonder80]

did you file for divorce or did he?