Help with this question about sexual past!

[Bluebird]

Question for you all.

 

How many guys do you think the average girl will sleep with...or how many guys will a girl 'do something' with?

 

The reason im asking this is because I have done something in my past that i deeply regret. I looked at the experiece in a way that would most likely make me 'normal.' It has come back to hit me in the face with my current relationship. He hasnt said anything but he probably thinks im alot LESS innocent than i actually am. To me...my past actions have represented me in the wrong way. I know i cant change it...and i have grown from it...but would still like to know what everyones opinion.

 

 

I would really aprreciate both female and male responses on this.

[tasmsifit]

i think that you should be honnest with him, he may not like what he hears but it's something he should know depending on your history with that person. well thats all i can say besides good luck and hope everything works out for the best

[SpecialOne]

Dear BlueBird,

 

I can understand that you must come true about your sexual past and having those guilt. However, while you are in a current relationship it isn't good to talk about one past too much, especially with regard to the number of sexual partner.

 

Accept it as an experiences that had happened already.

 

Good luck with your current relationship.

 

Special One, Australia.

[Slagar]

If it does come up, then I think you should be truthful to him and tell him that it didn't really happen that way, that you regret your past, and that you are not like that.

 

As a number... well... I recently found out that a friend of mine (he is 19) has slept with 13 girls!

I had absolutely no idea he was such a... well, it was a shock. His girlfriend (also a good friend) was also quite shocked. But I can definitely see it now; he is a very natural flirt, even though he is with someone. It changed my perception of him a lot actually... and not in a good way

But meh, he is still a good friend. He just has a very different view on the world =)

 

As for the 'average girl' or guy for that matter, I'd imagine it would be a LOT lower

Sensible people don't get into that kinda stuff too quickly (at least, that's how I see things). But it depends on the age group too, upbringing, and socio-economic groups etc... many factors.

 

As for me, I am 18 and a half, and don't plan on getting laid anytime soon... I don't really care about getting laid at all... even leaning towards not looking forward to it... which must seem bizarre coming from a guy

I just want love. Maybe that's just me though - I am a very shy, conservative kind of guy. Not all too confident in myself either... which sucks, because apparently I am a lot cooler and more attractive than I see myself

 

I'll shut up now. Good luck, and I hope everything works out for ya!

[netman]

I'm 28 years old and I've been with over 60 girls, and this is not something that I'm really proud of yet I don't regret it. Most of it is from years back when I was a DJ. I think the average for guys around my age from what I hear is maybe 10 to 15. As for women, I would say between 3 and 6 guys, but they usually lie about these kinds of things when they are asked so the number could be more.

 

One thing I learned a long time ago is DON'T ASK QUESTIONS YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWERS TO. Bluebird, that's probably what happened to you. Your boyfriend probably asked you about specific details of your past sexual experience and he didn't like your truthful answer. He should respect that you were being honest with him, and he should remember that the past is the past.

 

My current girlfriend only has been with one guy, and I've never asked her about the specific things her and her ex may have done. I'm the type to remember everything, so if she ever gave me details my imagination would get the best of me and it would upset me, but I wouldn't think any less of her. The past is the past, and you can't take it back but you can learn from it. Maybe he'll get over it and appreciate your honesty in the end.

[Darkness Falls]

Hey Bluebird,

Don't quite get why you would like us to say how many women and men people have slept with. I am wondering if you want to know what the average is to compare it to what you have done in the past and I don't think that is fair on your self as you shouldn't be trying to punish yourself for your past histories.

 

I think you should keep it at the front of your mind that it is now your past and there is nothing you can do to change that, even if you wanted to. As you say the things that have happened in the past are now experiences and make you who you are today. What some have said here I agree with you shouldn't come out with the details of your past without him asking and if he does ask you don't have to say how many people you have been with as long as he isn't under the impression that he is the first.

 

If it helps you can always tell him that nobody has ever made you feel that way before when you do talk about sex as this will always make him feel more confident in himself which is why he is may be asking.

 

Hope this helps and keep smiling, you aren't a bad person for what you have done