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Does anyone REALLY enjoy dating? Tell your tales here!

cavaliere

By cavaliere
in Dating Advice

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cavaliere Explorer

cavaliere

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Salut, tout le monde!

 

Having recently thrown myself headfirst into the dating scene after a few months of post-breakup reflection...I've come to the realization that, damn it, the act of dating isn't all it's cracked up to be! I haven't really "played the field," so to speak, since I was a student, and I had forgotten how annoying the whole thing can be until now. Sure, it's a common adage that you have to get out there if you want to meet people, but does anyone else get tired of all the nonsense that goes with it? Granted, going out on dates with someone you already know well is a different ballgame. There's a rapport there, there's comfort. I'm talking about dating people you meet while out and about, online, etc., people you don't know.

 

I never really dated strangers before, as all but one of my exes were people I already knew, if only superficially. But the dating game can really drive you nuts sometimes...or at least it does me! For example, there was one girl I met who was quite eager, inviting me out to clubs with her friends and showering me with compliments even though she had known me for maybe 10 days at the time. I managed to get tickets to a soccer match in town and invited her along, and she swears up and down that yes, she's dying to go, nothing could keep her away, etc. The day before the match, she tells me she has to work. That's all well and good, but when I asked her if work would be a problem before actually offering her the ticket, she told me definitely not. I had to finagle like no tomorrow to unload that second seat on such short notice! She said she'd make it up to me with dinner after the match, if I wanted to meet her. But when I called to make the arrangements, she said she was going someplace else. I just stopped calling her after that, enough effort was already wasted.

 

Or how about the girl who told me she was a vegan, but "not to worry" because she could find something to eat at any restaurant? Now, I go to pick this girl up at her condo, even though she has a car and could meet me at least halfway, because she says she doesn't want to "harm the environment." When I get there, I call her to tell her I arrived...no answer. I send a text, wait a few minutes and call again...no answer. Half an hour passes, I call one more time, no answer, so I get back in my car to go home. I'm on the highway and THEN she calls....her phone was in an odd place and wasn't receiving reception, so she missed my calls. That's fine, I suppose, but since we made plans for 7:30, didn't she wonder why it was 8:00 and I wasn't there yet? She had already given me flak for messing up the times for our first date a week earlier, even though it was she who was incorrect, and I had the notes in my dayplanner to prove it. I didn't want to go back for her, but she said she hadn't eaten and I promised her a meal, so I did. We then proceeded to visit no fewer than 5 restaurants (and I paid twice for parking downtown in the process) before she found something she was willing to eat. I said nothing, since it's not my place to criticize another's dietary choices, but was that not taking advantage of me, considering it was only a second date? Suffice it to say, there was not a third.

 

I could go on and on. A girl who made her own pornography? Yes, I happened to buy dinner for such a person, who then proceeded to share her work with me AND light up a joint of marijuana while I sat there dumbfounded and ready to bolt. Or what about a girl who lambasted me for politely asking her if she was still interested in talking after she didn't return my post-date phone call (placed 2 days after the outing)? I asked this via e-mail, as she had blocked me on MSN immediately after our date. I knew what the answer would be, of course, but I just thought I deserved a little more respect and honesty, as I always make it a point to say I don't engage in dating games. Honesty or nothing, period. She lambasted me for asking, saying my asking such questions was indicative of suspicion and would doom our relationship, so she didn't want to go out again. What relationship? We had one date, and all I wrote was, "If you'd prefer I don't call you again, please don't be afraid to tell me. I won't be offended, and I'd appreciate the honesty." Saying this warrants attacking me personally?

 

We've all been on those horrible dates, the ones where silence is the order of the day and you're forced to pull asinine jokes out of your hat and ask endless questions in an effort to keep the atmosphere light-hearted, even though your date is pretty much just sitting there adding nothing to the conversation. Those same dates where even though you fully intend to foot the bill, you'd still like to see the other person offer just as a show of character. We've all had to face the eternal dilemmas and play the ridiculous games: when do I call? Will he/she call back? Did I wait long enough? Should I play hard to get? Did I do this wrong? Did I do that wrong?

 

Now, I'm hardly perfect myself, don't get me wrong, but is it just me, or is there a shortage of mature, well-adjusted people out there? Maybe it's because I'm still in my mid-twenties and a lot of people this age are flaky (sorry to generalize like that), but dating to me often comes accross more as a chore than something fun. Of course, the beauty of that is when you actually go on a date that is fun, you know that person could be special

 

Anyone else feel drained by the dating game?

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ImThatGirl Mentor

ImThatGirl

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Posted

Keep on going on dates.... Before long, you will have enough to write a book as your writing is excellent and humorous!

 

I am sorry for your dating woes. I have to hand it to ya for being more than fair to these women!

1) Soccer game girl - You still called her back even after she cancelled (she did tell you to!) And then she said she made other plans?!

2) Vegan - I'm pretty sure most guys would either have not picked her up or told her to get out of the car after the 2nd or 3rd restaurant! You were really patient. Which is great but wow.... don't let a girl do this to ya! Also just have to note - u driving to get her didn't save the world anymore than if she would have driven!

3) Pornography and a joint... Did she think you were a pimp maybe?

4) Block you from msn and then when you email she turns it around that you just ruined the chances.... Sigh!

 

There are still great people out there! I'm convinced of that. There are people that are honest, normal, respectful, sweet, charming, caring, and compassionate. Don't let these women turn you completely away from dating!

 

Besides them being women, were there any other common denominators with them? (say high class.... super models.... ?) I'm guessing number 3 may have been somewhat different than the other 3 though...

 

I also have to say yes - I agree that dating is difficult and can be exhausting!!!! Good luck to you!

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Stambler Collaborator

Stambler

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OMG Dating SUCKS!

 

Try dating at my age, I'm 47 and I look 10 years younger, hey, I take care of myself. All the women my age look like old ladies and the younger ones want young, mindless stud muffins!

 

"Scared of Herself" Girl

 

Took her to dinner, we walked and held hands, had a good night kiss,

I found a cutsie e-card from her on my computer when I got home. She called and asked me out again that same week - same thing. Then she asked me out yet again - same thing. This went on for 2 weeks. She told me she was looking for a relationship.

 

After our 4th date I said I would be interested in making it more than just "dating" (i.e. exclusive). She looked like this

 

I received an e-mail the next day that said "I'm sorry if you mistook my companionship for something romantic, but I'm not interested in a relatioship right now"

 

 

That's one of dozens I will be posting!

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Cognitive_Canine Enthusiast

Cognitive_Canine

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Posted

Wow, you got some bad ones there.

 

I've had my fair share of bad dates and will probably have a lot more to come. It's all just a part of the fun. You'll look back soon and laugh at all that you went through.

 

I once had a date that did nothing but complain about his ex the entire time. I also had one that brought a box of chocolates but left them on the couch....where my dog got into them.

 

All in all, I like dating. I think it's loads of fun meeting new people and having that fresh, new excitement of the unknown. Keep at it!

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cavaliere Explorer

cavaliere

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Hehe, thanks for the compliment about my writing! I actually do plan to write a book eventually...or maybe a screenplay. If I already have such stories at 25, imagine how many more I'll have at 30! Hopefully not that many more, of course

 

As for common denominators, it's tough to say, aside from the fact that they were all annoying. Soccer Game Girl was kind of your carefree city girl, the kind that flies by the seat of her pants, follows the trends and has 500 friends on Facebook. The Vegan was the opposite, a reserved, plain Jane type who wasn't very talkative or outgoing and was, to be honest, rather boring. Miss Dominatrix 2008, I couldn't begin to explain that one to you! Apparently, she dropped out of school in the 8th grade, moved to the city, where she often rubbed shoulders with bikers, drug dealers and other upstanding citizens, and finally took a job at a local adult video store, which launched her promising new career. And the MSN Blocker, she was the classic "I'm hot and I know it" type, draped in Dolce and Gabbana and lamenting that she had been single for a year and a half because "no men will approach me." Somehow, I don't think she was being honest about that!

 

Hehe, give me some credit, I opt for variety in my choices

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SeaBisquit Mentor

SeaBisquit

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it worse than sucks it blows! most of the guys i date lie. then when i think i have found someone decent he ends up being the freakiest of all.

i haven't found a guy that doesn't cheat, they say their dating exclusively. then i find out it three or four.

 

BIG TIP - dating exclusively means they don't want you to see anyone else, but their doing everyone in their town twice.

 

and yeah i can't even count how many guys who asked me if i'm bi and if i would do a three some.

 

yeah dating is a great time____ha ha

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Stambler Collaborator

Stambler

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BIG TIP - dating exclusively means they don't want you to see anyone else, but their doing everyone in their town twice.

 

and yeah i can't even count how many guys who asked me if i'm bi and if i would do a three some.

 

yeah dating is a great time____ha ha

 

 

Hahahahaha!!!!!!!

 

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Good one!

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Jeremiah Johnson Rookie

Jeremiah Johnson

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I don't care for dating at all - haven't done it in a long time. I think the old age custom of arranged marriages was solid. Let someone wiser than me pick her out so I don't have to sift through all the {EDIT} . Then I can devote my time to more important things like my guitar, my writing, or hitting the trails.

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lila... Enthusiast

lila...

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After dinner my date and I went to a bar for a few drinks.

 

I was telling her that was havng a tooth extracted that coming week. She said ...

 

"Sucks to be you..."

 

 

 

Why is that bad? lol. It didn't literally mean it sucks to be you, it means it sucks to be in that position.

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EQD Collaborator

EQD

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After dinner my date and I went to a bar for a few drinks.

 

I was telling her that was havng a tooth extracted that coming week. She said ...

 

"Sucks to be you..."

 

 

 

 

I knew i'd met you before!! j/k!

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ImThatGirl Mentor

ImThatGirl

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I don't care for dating at all - haven't done it in a long time. I think the old age custom of arranged marriages was solid. Let someone wiser than me pick her out so I don't have to sift through all the {EDIT}. Then I can devote my time to more important things like my guitar, my writing, or hitting the trails.

 

 

Agree Agree Agree!

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