Getting Angry and Frustrated

[lil_mamarains13]

My ex and I have remained friends. He made me very angry this weekend. He still has my ATM Card, and I said he could use it to help him out, but he needed to call me when he made a transaction so I could keep up with my balance. Well he didn't, and Saturday night I called and found out that he made 4 transactions, and if I had a check that went through I would have been overdrawn. Well I cancelled my card, and cussed him out, and then he called me the next day. He apologized for it, and said it was truly a mistake. I believe him because he is not one to apologize for anything even when he does know he is wrong. Well then today I was asking him if he wanted me to send his stuff, and some money I had told him I would let him borrow to help him out. I told him he would not get it by Christmas if I mailed it. I ask him if he was coming down here for Christmas. He wanted me to leave it outside at his Grandma's house. I said I don't think so. I told him he needed to be slapped because I am not going over there at 11 to 11:30 at night trying to find a hiding place for that stuff. He said what are you going to do make me come down there. I said you can either come up with something better than that, come down here, or I can mail it to you. I love him with all my heart, but I just wonder sometimes what he is thinking about when he comes up with this crazy stuff. Oh also I just found out my ex fiance is in town, and has been asking about me. It is going to be hard to avoid him since he is brothers with my best friend's husband. His kids have also been asking about me too. This is insane. I want to hide for the holidays. All I can say is thank God that I have a 2nd job know so maybe some of the insanity will be avoided.

[russia]

are you trying to buy your ex? it seems like you are only succeeding in prolonging the inevitable, final, break. i know many real life examples of women like you, and i can't believe i never had that sort of luck with women, and envy those guys who can string along women like you and siphon off their money. i have to treat my women! and some of these guys aren't even as good looking or nice!

 

eventually, when the money runs out, they run off to try their luck with another woman. i hope you see my point. esp so when your ex has been taking money without getting your permission. a very dangerous situation indeed. these men are very dangerous for your health, so please don't keep thinking you love them. most of them will not change their ways for love.

 

as for his stuff, just throw it out by the USED-BY-DATE. he can either pick it up NOW, or rummage for it at the local dump

 

and don't let your christmas be spoiled. use your money on yourself and have a nice dinner (just don't go to those lovely-dovey restaurants, naturally) and parties, or just enjoy those excellent christmas programs on tv/cable. guess what? you are not alone! there are lots of lonely people out there at christmas too, so don't feel too bad. you're in great company!

[The Morrigan]

I hate to say it - but he's right. There's a line between getting a bit of help from a friend in rough times to stay on your feet, and taking advantage of someone, and intentional or not - he's taking serious advantage of you here. Think a minute - he actually thought he could get you to come drop off his stuff and money to avoid making the effort himself to come and get it? Not only is he willing to borrow from you, but wants you to bring it to him, to make it even easier? Just as well you said a big NO on that one, that's really going too far! You've given him a helping hand, you've been nice - but at some point here you have to say "enough is enough" and let him make more of an effort for himself. He's a big boy, but letting him depend on you too much isn't going to make him act like one, and honestly, even suggesting that (you bringing him money and things at his convenience) makes him sound more like a spoiled child than a man. You're busting your butt working two jobs and making something of yourself - reap some of those benefits for yourself for a while, and let him find out he has two feet to stand on, and make him start using them! Use some of your hard earned money to do something nice for YOU, pamper yourself a bit, get your hair done, get a nice bottle of wine, treat yourself to a spa day, buy yourself some flowers - instead of waiting for someone else to do something that makes you feel good - you do it, there's power in action.