rileyorange Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 is it just me or does facebook put a pressure on relationships! having to put the status of in a relationship with some one and having to remove it when that person is gone from your life...its soo hard to deal with....what are your outlooks on facebook and relationships...here is the place to vent it out! Link to comment
leo_s84 Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 is it just me or does facebook put a pressure on relationships! having to put the status of in a relationship with some one and having to remove it when that person is gone from your life...its soo hard to deal with....what are your outlooks on facebook and relationships...here is the place to vent it out! It sucks. I recently deleted my ex from there because i know i wouldn't stand seeing pictures of whatever she does from now on. Facebook is good for some things, but evil for relationships. Link to comment
Bunney Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 It's not facebook that ruins relationships. It's insecure people. Link to comment
Smiliegirl Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 I actually agree with Bunney. Facebook, and other such sites, might make it easier to flirt behind your SO's back, keep in touch with your ex and other potentionally relationship ruining things but it doesn't ruin relationships in itself. If you flirt on facebook, you probably flirt in real life too. If you want to get back with your ex, you would have tried that anyway. If you break up over facebook, you would have broken up anyway. It just wasn't meant to be. Link to comment
catwalk Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 The status thing on Facebook is killer. Can you imagine getting the email from FACEBOOK telling you your relationship 'has been cancelled'? That would be horrible! Also, if you are dating someone, find them on Facebook and see they are married or something! Link to comment
Sunshine311 Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 is it just me or does facebook put a pressure on relationships! having to put the status of in a relationship with some one and having to remove it when that person is gone from your life...its soo hard to deal with....what are your outlooks on facebook and relationships...here is the place to vent it out! Well what you discribed happening here (changing your relationship status on Facebook) really has nothing to do with Facebook ruining the relationship. It seems you're more so referring to 'trama' it may cause after a breakup. But, sticking with your original question - does facebook ruin relationships? No, I don't think it does. If a couple is happy and in love then why would Facebook ruin it? As was already said by another poster, insecure people can ruin a relationship, but not facebook. If a SO is flirting or trying to meet people on Facebook, don't blame Facebook, blame the person. FB is mearly an outlet to connect; if it's not through FB, they will find another way. Man....I just said Facebook an awful lot... Link to comment
Superfreak Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 My main beef with facebook is just its incredible self-absorption. It can basically be summed up as hundreds of millions of people in unison going "HEY!!! LOOK AT MEE!!!!" Link to comment
AbsentMaverick Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 is it just me or does facebook put a pressure on relationships! having to put the status of in a relationship with some one and having to remove it when that person is gone from your life...its soo hard to deal with....what are your outlooks on facebook and relationships...here is the place to vent it out! If it is difficult to maintain a relationship because of a button, imagine how difficult it will be to have a job! Link to comment
Tezza Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 I have seen my bf add the Meet New People application where he has "flirted" with ppl, I felt a bit hurt by this and he has since removed it off his page (I think, whose to say that he hasn't hidden it so I can't see it)... Facebook makes it harder for people to get over their exes though. I just blocked mine, it made things soo much easier... Link to comment
loveistough Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 My main beef with facebook is just its incredible self-absorption. It can basically be summed up as hundreds of millions of people in unison going "HEY!!! LOOK AT MEE!!!!" That's it in a nutshell. Link to comment
sweetjess195 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 Facebook has never been a problem since none of my ex's have had it but myspace DEF is! I know if I break up with someone Im questioning "should I delete them as my friend??". If I do they cant see my page and know what im doing and possibly jealous(lol) if I dont, I seem too easy. Myspace is the DEVIL! Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 People ruin relationships. Websites can only put strain on a relationship and if you allow it to "ruin" a relationship it's obvious the relationship wasn't that strong to begin with. Link to comment
petite Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 Oh dear lord. Is it REALLY, that important? Link to comment
Sunshine311 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 My main beef with facebook is just its incredible self-absorption. It can basically be summed up as hundreds of millions of people in unison going "HEY!!! LOOK AT MEE!!!!" I suppose that's one way of looking at it. Or.... It's a great way to stay connected with your friends. It seems everyone is so busy now a days that it's hard to keep in touch with everyone. I have my handful of good friends and close family who I talk to, email, and get together with, but then I have all my other friends and family who I can keep up to date with and in contact with thanks to facebook. When ever they update their pictures or their status, I can look at it and always know what's up with them. If it's something significant, I'm in the loop and can talk to them about it. I think Facebook is great for bringing friends together and keeping them in touch. Honestly, it's how you use it and what you chose to do with it that will decide if someone likes it or not. It's entirely up to the user whether they want to use facebook in a positive way (as I described above), or a destructive way such as checking up on ex's. Geez people, if it hurts to look up your ex on facebook, don't do it!! Link to comment
chocolate-cake Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 ITS REAally bad for exes and NC- my friend is forever blocking and readding her ex/bf wenever they have a blow out. The best thing is to not be friends with ur bf/gf on it if its making issues. My bf doesnt have it but i do- if he had it i think i wuld be checking his page too much to be friends on it, i.e one of my friends had a stupid argument with her man cos she put three kisses 2 some male firend = rediculous!!! p.s fb is not HEY LOOK AT ME thasts myspace with al their "tanks 4 the add" and half naked underwear soft porn pics!!! Link to comment
Mavh25 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 No offence but I really think those kinds of websites are pretty sad, and if you let them consume your relationship, its about time you got rid of it... Link to comment
Girl79 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 My bf and I don't ever plan on joining facebook. Really, WAY too much drama that I don't need in my life! I have seen it cause so many problems between couples. People can say all they want that it's not facebook that causes the problems, but it wouldn't be happening if you couldnt be in contact with all your exes and pretty much everyone you have ever met in your life. No thanks! Link to comment
misspiggyfire Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 Facebook is horrible when I removed my relationship status and put single I had a few people messag me about it when the last thing I wanted was to talk about my break up. I ended up removing my ex from my friends as I don't want to know about his life or if he has a new partner as it would hurt to much. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 I don't think myspace or face ruins relationships per se. I do think that there are little things put out there (like the many friends, flirting, comments, etc.) that put a bit of a strain out there (especially if people don't require or expect a certain respect.. and accept harmless flirting....) As far as the status issue. lol - I used to have my ex at the top of my list. We deleted each other, got back together.... On off on off. Public display of my troubles... I have decided at this point that not one man will be moved to the top of my list ever. (Appears to be desperate to me...) And - unless I get engaged or at least in a very serious relationship... I will not change my status from single. Link to comment
cs90453 Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 IMO, Facebook is a tool. How you use that is your choice. I use it to get in contact with friends that I haven't heard from in years and I can also see current pics of family and friends. Since my wife and I split up I have removed her from facebook. I don't need to know anything that she's up to. Link to comment
Boughs Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 My trick, don't touch the relationship button. Leave it blank and date freely! Use facebook as a way to keep in contact with the people you meet. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 My main beef with facebook is just its incredible self-absorption. It can basically be summed up as hundreds of millions of people in unison going "HEY!!! LOOK AT MEE!!!!" YUP! I agree. Facebook, myspace..all of those sites are like that for most people. Some people actually take pics with their myspace page in mind. My son does this...when we go places he will say hey quick take a pic of me here so i can put it on my myspace page. I don't ding him he is only 19...that is what kids do and all, but it seems so many people set up pics to look so happy and important JUST to post on a myspace page. Link to comment
TBE_1989 Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 I don't use Facebook, but I know Bebo and Myspace are awful for relationship dilemmas and general paranoia. I'm currently freaking out cos my bf changed his screen name from the pet name I give him to something else and I'm really really hurt! Link to comment
crosstownTraffic Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 YUP! I agree. Facebook, myspace..all of those sites are like that for most people. Some people actually take pics with their myspace page in mind. My son does this...when we go places he will say hey quick take a pic of me here so i can put it on my myspace page. I don't ding him he is only 19...that is what kids do and all, but it seems so many people set up pics to look so happy and important JUST to post on a myspace page. Yeah, but your son is a young kid.... So many adults take that myspace thing WAY too seriously... Grrr. you are so riht.. LOVE LOVE your avatar there btw! I think so many of these dating sites and "social" sites people take WAY too seriously. I wrote about this webstie, the craziest site ever... my god.. what a bunch of pompous idiots lived on that site! Just cuz they got "featured" on the main page, (and all you had to do to get on their main page was post a bunch of times in a certain period of time) they all thought they were hollywood stars or something. Way too weird!!! Some of them did not even HAVE a photo, but just cuz their "blogs" appeared on the main page and they had 40 people commenting on them.. you would of thought they were Angelie Jolie or something.. Not that that I even like Angelie Jolie. I do NOT! lol. I kinda hate people who think so much of themselves cuz they get alot of attention. Anyway.. that's another topic.. but yeah.. it's such a superficial "who's looking at me" type of environment, yawnsville! Who the heck cares how many ppl look at you on the internet? That actually kinda creeps me out and I'm very glad we are not "expected" to post our photos here if we do not want to. And you know.. even though I also like to post my goings on, sometimes I really have to wonder the wisdom of having hundreds of total strangers knowing exactly what you are doing in your life on a day to day basis! Especially if you have your picture, your location, you age, the whole nine yards attached! You just don't ever know until you meet someone IRL what they are really life on the web! I have thought about trying to join myspace or facebook to meet people but.. it seems incredibly shallow to me in a sense.. Tell me, poster, people put up half-naked pics of themselves in their underwear on MySapce??? I might as well join a sex site if that is what they do! Link to comment
Sunshine311 Posted June 13, 2008 Share Posted June 13, 2008 Yeah, but your son is a young kid.... So many adults take that myspace thing WAY too seriously... And you know.. even though I also like to post my goings on, sometimes I really have to wonder the wisdom of having hundreds of total strangers knowing exactly what you are doing in your life on a day to day basis! Especially if you have your picture, your location, you age, the whole nine yards attached! You just don't ever know until you meet someone IRL what they are really life on the web! I might as well join a sex site if that is what they do! Just to clarify, as I am a happy, healthy Facebook user, you have options as to who views your profile. You can change your privacy settings so that only your friends (whom you must approve before they can even become your friend) can see your page. This means that anyone who is not an approved friend can only see your name and your profile pic, NOTHING else. cs90453 put it best, FB is a tool, it's up to you how you use it. You can use it in a positive way, or a negative way. Link to comment
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