Need advice

[Midwesterner]

I met a woman through a friend. The woman is engaged though. We had sex the first night (withing 2 hours of meeting) and now she says she likes me a lot. Says she is undecided about her marriage. Is there something wrong with having sex so fast? Does this make her "easy", or could it be that there was passion there? I confronted her about it and she says she felt a "connection". I just wonder if I were anyone else would she have done the same thing. She seems to be sincere in what she says to me about how much she likes me. I don't know what to think.

[JSHRN]

Whoa! Let's look at a few things here. First, this woman is engaged to be married! After a 2 hour meeting you had sex with her and now she says she likes you a lot? I don't know the situation but it sounds like maybe she's "sowing her oats" for the last time before she gets married. Doesn't sound like passion to me, sounds more like infatuation or lust. If she's engaged how does she feel a "connection"?

 

I think you're heading for trouble here. Lust can be a powerful thing to some people and when it hits you we tend not to think straight. However, we are cognizant of the situation but don't always think of the consequences of our actions. When you two hooked up did you know she was married? I don't trust this woman's judgement and would hesitate to think what she thinks of her husband-to-be if she slept with you. I don't mean to sound harsh but after a 2 hour encounter with you and she's in bed with you, is that really someone you want to be with?

 

Since she's engaged I would immediately step back and rethink this. Unless a miracle happens and she calls off the engagement you really have nothing to hope for. A night of passion is over and you need to move on.

[just_smile]

hey

to me the whole situation doesnt seem quite right, why would a woman who is engaged want to sleep with someone she has only know 2hours. to me she seems easy, how could she do that to the person she loves.

 

if she was willing to marry someone wasnt there a connection between them?

 

i dont know her but to me she appears to be easy and indecisive in what she wants.

 

that probably doesnt help, its just me asking alot of questions, but who knows you could ask them to her and find out

~LJ =;

[Beec]

Her fooling around while engaged is what would trouble me, not whether she is easy. The fooling around while engaged is cheating isn't it?

 

Unless she breaks the engagement, why would you get involved? To hope she does just before the wedding? To have an affair and hope she gets divorced after her marriage? To have an affair that will get you some sex and end while she is still married? Where is a relationship with her going to go?

 

If she breaks the engagement, you might think about a relationship. She is no more or less easy than you were.

[Midwesterner]

Well thanks to all for the posts. Also, yes she has said she is very confused about her engagement. She doesn't think she wants to go through with it and has brought it up to her family. She says she will need to decide soon (although she gets married in July) her fiancee is coming to visit for New Year's.

[Boundaries]

If your sister was involved with a married man, what would be your advice to her?

[Midwesterner]

I guess my advice would be that she needs to follow her heart and do what's best for herself and what's going to make her happy. This is the same advice her brother gave her.