Angry Bf wont talk to me

[memo79]

Two weeks ago late on Sunday night, Me and my bf of five years got in a row over the washing clothes. I was really stressed that day and soon the argument turned a little physical between us. I saked him to leave my house but he refused. I was so fuming that I called up my friend who worried by my tone called the police. I told my bf that she had called the polcie and asked him to leave again but he refused, obviously angry that I had called my friend. The police turned up where I asked them to take him home or ask him to leave. They asked us if we had gotten physical to which I replied yes. They took my bf away to diffuse the situation but because it was late at night he ad to stay in the cell even though the polcie had told me that he wont be getting charged. He came out after 14 hours being in the station and took some of his stuff from my house. I called up his dad who was furious at me that I had got the police involved.

On Wed i saw my bf at the bus where i walked up to him to apologise that it got so out of hand. I didnt want him to be taken away. He started ignoring me and walking off by which I followed him as he wasnt listening and I was trying to talk to him. He then started callnig the police and saying I was harassing him and then walked towards a nearby police station. He reported me to which the officer later told me that he was angry and that I shouldnt really get in touch with him. I sadly accepted it and was so upset. My bf then came round mine the next day when i was at work and took all his belongings. (We were living together but the place was under my name) I called him and asked him what he was doing as I was so panicked that he ws breaking up with me and I didnt want him to have gone through the whole ordeal. He told me he never wanted to see my face. After that I have been calling him, texting him, emailing him becasue I am so torn up and guilt ridden that he was in a cold empty cell and it was all my fault. After a week of no reply I got to the stage where I emailed him saying I wont bother him again, He replied that day saying i had an anger problem and although he as much as me didnt want to lose me he think i will never change. I emailed him back saying to take some repsonsibilty of hitting me and that I had told the polcie not to take him.

He didnt reply. As a result of this I ahvent been able to eat, sleep and so guilt ridden that he went through this and is now angry at me and blaming me for nearly ruining his life and how i got his family and friends involved by jeopardising his realtionships with them He felt like he is a wife beater and is feeling depressed. I creid when I read his email and get shake this burden of guilt.

I text him yesterday sayting to call me. He did and angrily asked what I wanted off him. He kept also saying to promise him never to contact him after this as he had been recieving texts calls from me all the time. I told him I didnt want to talk about us but how he was feeling and to call me any name under the sun for what i put him through if that made him feel better. He said he neither hated nor loved me and felt nothing and couldnt say names to me. The conversation ended with me telling him my credit was running out so he told me to say goodbye to hIM. I couldnt so he said it and i cried. He told me not to cry and then my credit went. I havent been in touch with him since but I really want to know if I sohuld give him time to calm down or if this is final. We are normally so loved up but when we argue they get out of hand. We have always had a loving realtionship and I feel that we are breaking up over something that is too strong to throw away. Should I leave him a while or move on? He seems really angry with me and not talknig calmly. Its been nealry 2 weeks since it happened. I dont know what to do.

Ps we have broken up i the past but always come back to each other as we love each other so much. We were getting on really well until I caused the argument.

[DN]

Welcome to eNotAlone.

 

What was the argument about? When you say it got physical what happened - who started the physical fight?

[Degan]

A) what was the argument?

B) Did he hit you?

 

I can tell you I wouldn't want to date someone who sent me to jail. The guy had no reason to stay after continued warnings even if he did live at your place. It doesn't sound like he was listening at all and in a relationship that isn't a good thing. I did that and what happened after I should have been in jail too.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I don't know what exactly happened when things got physical..but it sounds to me like both of you are very toxic for each other and are better off apart until you can figure out how to disagree on things without it getting out of hand.

[thejigsup]

Your relationship with him is not healthy for either of you. He has realized this. You should also. Anytime there is physical violence in a relationship, it's over.