HELP!! REally Urgent!! Not much time left!!

[jiangkejia]

With more than 2 weeks of NC, my ex contacted me on skype/ AIM. He has a gf now.

 

He is leaving to the UK to work for several years next week.

 

And, on skype I told him about the guy i am seeing and revealed some details of me and that guy. My ex got super-pissed, saying that the things (the deails) between me and that guy hurt him. I told him that i shared these things with him coz i take him as a nice male friend, I dont want to have anything more than friends with him at the moment (as he always wants sex witt me while he is dating his girl) I dont know if it is good to say this, but he is leaving anyway. We are on NC since this convo.

 

So should I see him before he leaves, and should I tell him that I actually doesnt take him as a usual male friend?

[DN]

Unless he revealed details of his new relationship, I don't think it was wise to reveal details of yours other than the fact that you have one. Some things are better left unsaid.

[metrogirl]

If you are in NC and you really don't have an interest in continuing anything with him, then there is no point in seeing him before he leaves.

[rokston]

What is the point of telling him that you don't see him as a usual male friend? Given that you don't want to be anything more than friends with him, it would just be perceived as mixed signals.

[trash mail]

To answer the question about you seeing him off.

Do what you think is right and that you can live with. Never live YOUR life with regret. If he gets upset that you are seeing him off, then it is his problem, you have done the right thing by you.

It is your choice, always will be. (part of growning up)

Should you tell him more about your current guy?

If he ask Why not? Tell him the truth but leave out the details, *ask him about the girl he is seeing but leave out the details.*

 

It will help you and him move on.

[jiangkejia]

Thanks for the fast replies from all you guys.

 

Before I told him about the things with my guy, my ex had already rubbed his new relationship on my face by putting it on facebook telling me about the girl and his relationship.

 

I still want to be with him, i am struggling over if I should see him or not before he leaves, because I think there is something we should say face-to-face, but on the other hand the "Reverse psychology of the rebound" holds me back. I dont want to be in the picture when he is dating somebody.

[jiangkejia]

Actually he asked me several times to go out before he leaves, I rejected because of my belief in the Reversed psychology of rebound and I wanted to stick to NC (Although I talked to him for several days after more than 2 weeks NC). I dont know if i am wrong to say that i only take him as a normal male friend at the moment, but i dont want him to think that i want to stay in the picture of his relationship with a hope of getting back together.

 

I know he wants to have sex with me (we had the greatest sex together) when he sees me, so i think i have to meet him in public if we do meet each other.

 

One part of me doesn't want to hurt myself and the chance of getting back together by meeting him, another part of me thinks "whatever, he is leaving!" and I dont want to regret for not meeting him.

[SmashingPumpkin]

Why would you want to sse him?...Well it really depends on what you want...If you just consider him a friend, then it's a really nice gesture to say bye to him and to remind him you guys will keep in touch and all of that!...

 

So just analyze whatever you want, and make the right decision.

[lainOS]

She does still want him. she said that. i think you need to communicate to him. tell him it bothered you that he talked about his new girl and that maybe you made a mistake for talking about another guy, your sorry if it hurt him but of course you deserve the same consideration too. tell him you feelings for him or want him back or whatever it is. and if its not reciprocated, kindly tell him that its best you dont contact each other. leave that open-ended as to when or if you may or may not talk again. youve said you want to be with him then, and he'll know it and the ball will be in his court. and KEEP no cantact. do not have the conversation twice. let him come to you if he does and take it from there.

 

and yes for godsakes, k dont be having sex with him.

[jiangkejia]

BTW he broke up with me. I called him and saying that I don't want him to be that angry, he said he doesn't want to talk to me.

 

Is it stupid to pour my heart out even he has a gf now?I have read the post "Reversepsychology and Rebound", I dunno if it is good to stay in the picture between them. He is leaving really soon. I felt good yesterday as it seemed like some of the "pressure" on my chest was cleared out. But I feel that sadness sometimes creeps in again.

 

Should I try to reach him to apologize for hurting him and agree to meet him or just go NC and let the thing flow naturally?

 

I guess he is sexually attracted to me but i told him that I can't be in contact if our meeting-up is based on that intention. I know I am not strong enough.

[jiangkejia]

I made a last call to him, stating we can meet up if we do not do anything more than what friends, and he said he doesn't want to meet up as he thinks i wont be a good friend.

[jiangkejia]

Just don't know it is a good idea telling him that i s till care.... there are only few days left...