Girlfriend says classmate is handsome and very cute.....

[netman]

My girlfriend was talking to me today about a class mate of hers that likes her friend. She casually says, "He's very handsome, he's very cute. I think they should hook up".

 

Why does that bug me so much that she says that another guy is "handsome" and "very cute"? I trust her, I don't think she was disrespectful, but why does that bother me so much?!?!?! I know that it shouldn't bother me, but in reality it's really bugging the hell out of me and I know for sure that I'm overeacting but I can't deny how I feel right now. UGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!

[SweetypieEnlightenedOne]

Net man, your my friend here on this forum and you know I wouldnt steer you wrong, I have been following your posts from quite some time now and you know this...because you and me have coresponded quite a number of times. I must tell you I think This girlfriend of yours is playing games with your head. I think she is doing things to make you jealous on purpose, and I think you need to give this girl a taste of her own medicine. I"m serious as a heart attack, she seems like she is insecure and is trying to make you feel like she's doing you a favor being with you. Sorry but I have done my research, she's doing this on purpose. I suggest you wait a bit and start talking about some hot chicks of your own.

[netman]

Sweetypie, I know you mean well, but I don't think that she's playing games with me, at least not in this case. If she was playing games, I would have picked up on it a long time ago. I know that it was very casual when she said it, and I know she didn't mean any harm. My point of posting was not to get a clue as to what's going through her head and why she may have said it, but more with trying to deal with the fact that I know I shouldn't be getting upset and jealous over this, but I can't help it.

[SweetypieEnlightenedOne]

Netman, something about this young lady makes you insecure, something that she and you have in your comunication is making you feel bad. I think you need to really think of how much more depression and insecurity you can deal with. Maybe its you, or maybe its not. Maybe its her, You need to try to take some time and figure this one out. But I still feel like if she knows your a bit jealous what was her purpose in saying this to you. Do you think maybe she is interested in this guy?

[netman]

To answer your question, I don't think that she's interested in this guy; not at all. That's not why it bothers me that she said what she said.

 

Netman, something about this young lady makes you insecure, something that she and you have in your comunication is making you feel bad. I think you need to really think of how much more depression and insecurity you can deal with. Maybe its you, or maybe its not. Maybe its her, You need to try to take some time and figure this one out.

I think you're totally right. There's something about her that DOES spark my jealousy. I do think that she's trustworthy, and I do trust her. remember she's very beautiful and she dresses semi tight, and I know that she gets approached and looked at everyday (could that be it? I don't know). Maybe I can't handle being with such a fine girlfriend, but then again it's not her fault that she's so pretty. Plus would I be happier with any ugly girl?!?! Sometimes I contemplate ending the relationship because I can't take these thoughts about guys looking and approaching at my gorgeous girlfriend, and sometimes I think that this jealousy is going to be the death of me.

 

The ironic part is that I would not feel that bad if we broke up and I'm not afraid to lose her, but you may think that that's enough to cure my insecurities I don't know what to do anymore. In my eyes I'm a very good looking, successful man yet I have to go through this.

 

Sweetypie, you pretty much know my whole story. Do you think I need some counseling or therapy or something? My fear is that I lose this good girl, eventually get over these insecurities then I'll regret ending the relatiionship. What to do, what to do, what to do.....

[Beec]

Sweety is right in that you are acting out of some insecurity. She is not making you feel secure in that she has no wandering eyes.

 

My solution: tell her some girl is hot a few times and see if it bothers her. If it does (you need to watch her immediate reaction), then ask her if it does bother her. Tell her you are sorry for doing that, but you did it for a reason . . . to show her how it bothers you when she does something like that. Before you do it, start to compliment her more. Compliment her when her hair looks good ("I like your hair like that"), when you like her shirt, her earrings, when she is smart or funny, then intersperse these with ("Wow, She has a great butt" "She was showing some cleavage today"), you need to build her up a bit then break into the other women, then when she reacts, have the chat, just be firm during the chat.

[SweetypieEnlightenedOne]

I agree with Beec

 

Listen, Netman, I know your a hottie, And so is she....I have talked to you about this in deapth before and I must say...seems to me like she needs to be talked to about this. Does she know your feeling this way?

Does she know your not happy because her clothing are revealing and her comments are flirtatious, the wondering eye? I mean does she know you feel like this?

[netman]

Yeah, we've talked about it, and she's become more understanding of what I'm going through, but I don't think she's going to budge about the clothe issue. The wondering eyes issue, she acknowledges it and is trying (so she says) to work on that.