I had a moment

[mr me]

I dont know this happened to me and its kinda freaking me out. Ive had one of the craziest times with my break-up. I wrote all types of stuff and it felt like i was just trying to do anything so i could to get help. Its just alot of stuff wasnt working for me that i was trying and it was driving me crazy. Ive had a hard time accepting if anything else good would happen to me because of my past. Im still kinda nervous because i felt like this once before and it didnt last for so long. I was just taking a walk and went to Dunkin Donuts where i usually go to unwind at night. Ive just been so depressed and i dont know im not so much over it but its weird to feel this good. It probably wont last for so long but im trying to enjoy it.

 

I just seen that i need to get out of the job i have now. Its the same job ive had since i was going out with my ex and it reminds me of alot of bad times in my life. I didnt have so much luck finding another job so ive been kinda stuck with this one. I applied at the Dunkin Donuts and i know im not going to get payed alot but it will at least get me out of my current job if things go well. Its just like i said ive been stuck alot because i couldnt really deal with what i was going thru but i was too confused inside to make any of it better. I dont know its also kinda weird because i felt like i would be ok with my ex being with other people as long as it wasnt so painful. Its just i kinda feel like that was the catch because u know there is always one. Its been so painful for me to see her be with other people. I know its a part of life and im trying to get used to it but its been too much to handle sometimes. Im trying to see if i was with someone else and things were better with them then maybe i would be ok with it but idk. Its like im trying to live a pretty good life with just trying to find a way to be happy but this whole thing with my ex has made that alot harder then i expected. Its like i still have feelings for her but shes put me thru so much. Its also hard because she still has feelings for me but she cant really talk about it and i do feel like shes trying to get over me but idk because of her past everything is hard to tell because shes been abused. I come from a household with people that were abused so we kinda connected on that.

 

I also know it was probably puppy love and i know alot of the times that people who break up with you then later on realize when u have moved on that they still had feelings for you. Its just stuff like that kills me on the inside. I dont know its really confusing and hard. Its like you never know if things could work out later on and im having a hard time getting over her. Its like in so many ways we were such a good match but things didnt work out and thats almost kinda scary. I know thats the chance you take but ive never really had stuff that i felt was good in my life. I know that ive had stuff that i thought was good but not that good. Im kinda glad i wrote this down because i dont know how many times im gonna feel like this. Its like i dont feel depressed at all but sometimes i get like this and it goes away so idk.

[mr me]

I dont know all of this just showed me that im not going anywhere with what i was doing before. I was doing alot of stuff trying to get back with my ex. Im still kinda confused because i dont know exactly how to get over her but im taking that 1st step.

[mca1975]

sometimes its hard to let go of the sadness of a break up, as you have gotten used to feeling like that. Some people tend to wallow in this part of it. I know I have in the past. It kinda feels wrong to let go and be happy again, but its ok, do it.... make those changes you recognise.

 

Why shouldnt you be happy? give me one good reason!

[shattered hearts]

Try doing and going places that you didn't go with her..It's all about new place, faces and memories..