I Really Love My Ex And I Know She Still Cares, Does Absence Really Make The Heart Grow Founder?

[player11bball]

A little back ground may help.

so you have been dating her for a little over

a year and a half. everything is perfect both

happy both this then its just like she never

seems to have time, she says she never has

time anymore, to call, anything, she only calls

at night, because she things i wanna talk 9549834

hours, which isnt true i just want to talk, you know,

how was your day, simple i love you, reminder you know.

but its always goodnight i love you, maybe more, maybe less,

she says im tired we'll catch up tmrw, but it doesnt happen.

it was never this hard, it was never like this, we have broken

up, its always been her, take breaks, short ones, a couple of

times but it is real love so its always been us back together the

way it was meant to be, but this is really hard to explain as understand

im sure, but theres no point in arguing over goodnight but it just happens

and it blows up into this big thing that should be nothing. sometimes she'll

get frustrated, and say things, random things, because yeah shes tired and

cranky and its late at night, but i always say i tried calling you earlier, i tried,

you could've called me back, you could text me, anything..but she says i was

watching tv, or with my mom, simple things, its always time, time time time with

her, im like wheres my time, why cant you have time for me, theres always a point

in the day where your watching tv on your bed, you can call be like hey i love you,

you know something sweet, you used to do those things, but oh i dont have time,

i get really into my shows like the hills and such you know. i know she does get into

them but still its the thought. but to help we live 5 hours away, which we see eachother

every month for a full weekend, she comes, then i come the next, sometimes we see eachother

more than once in a month, but this past weekend, she came, prior to this, we were taking things

slow, working on us, taking it slow, ect ect.. but this past weekend she came, i guess we aren't dating

but still talk and she calls on the way up with her mom, says ill see you soon, ill call you when were closer

and says i love you still and a couple days before she came it was looking up hearing i love you, this and

that about the weekend, it felt like everything was working out looking up, like we were "us" she came this

past weekend, got here at night time, and we usually hangout in the room and watch movies listen to music

talk, ect ect but this time was diffrent not to mention, my sister and her boyfriend are going through this big

fighting stage were she found out from one of his friends who called my sister and left a voice mail saying

hes cheated on you, lied to you, does stuff behind your back, so when the person i love got to my house,

it was okay, then my sister got that voicemail and freaked out like crazy and then he came, her boyfriend and

it was a bad night to be with the person i love with my sister yelling and everything going on it was just not

how i wanted or planned and then we thought we werent going to get "our" time together with everything

going on in my house, but my sister settled down, her supposably boyfriend left and my mom calmed her down

outside so i was like lets not let this ruin our weekend together, and locked the door and tried not to worry

about all going on, but we finally got our time, talked, started a movie, do our usual stuff, but we both felt bad

or weird idk because of everything going on in my house, when we were done and and she was about to leave

my house like 4 hours later, she just got quiet in the bed laying down she didnt say anything, wouldnt come close, no we didnt have sex, we didnt go that far, but anyways she wouldnt talk, i laid down beside of her and said baby come here please, and touched her like a come here, and she said what, like she was facing the other way and what not, like closed eyes, looks like sleeping, but she was thinking it was a kind of ehh what when i said baby come here, but i said never mind and rolled over to see if she would say something or roll towards me, but 5-10 mins went back and she said nothing, then she looked over and said whats wrong, i said, well it feels like im being ignored, she replys, im not trying to ignore you, i said come here baby please, she came over and laid next to me, and said was something different, i said what do you mean, she said was something different, as in something felt different, i said well with everything going on in my house? she said well no kinda like yeah but no idk but she said what we did didnt feel like normally does, she said like no emotion, and i was like what do you mean ect..but she left and didnt say anything. like i walked her out, she was just like do you want me to call you in the morning when i wake up? i was like yes please, and she said okay, and just opened the door and looked and got in without saying anything, no bye no i love you, and she had said i love you the whole way up to my house and the time there a couple times, i was really sad, wondering why, felt bad she had to come when everything in my house was going how it was, but she came the next day, she was suppose to stay 3 hours or so but said she was only staying an hour, so we went upstairs and started talking, and said she needs time, not talking to eachother at all, earlier when i said we only talked at night, i brought that up and i was like we hardly talk now, she was like thats the point i guess, so im just confused and thinking and looking at her, and she basically just said that, and other stuff like little arguments that blow up like i said earlier, she said your going to get over me you will, i said we'll see about that, it wont happen, i love you, i care for you, i said dont you, she said yes but i cant show you, then you'll see it, im just thinking to myself what does this mean why why why why does she want to not talk at all, not anything anymore, the hour went by to fast because she was suppose to stay longer and it was time to leave her mom came called her said im out side and she got up and said are you coming downstairs and i said yes, she said well you dont have to, but i did, walked her outside to her moms jeep, she stopped at the door of the jeep, looked at me for a min, opened the door, looked at me again, got in, looked at me, closed the door, she didnt say anything, nothing. her mom backed up, and drove off i just looked at her through the window stood there then slowly turned around looked over my shoulder a couple of times, and the last one she was gone, it felt like i died right there, i was so lost, so confused. now i havent talked to her in two days, she called lastnight because she texted my sister and said will you tell him i have to just ask him one more question my sister texted back and said im sorry you had to see me like that lastnight im sorry if i ruined yalls night, she didnt text back, then my sister texted again saying i told him that but he cant text you right now he says because someones on the computer, and then my sister texted her said he, or me, just came up to my sister and said why me tab{my sisters name} i said why me and walked away out the front door, my sister told her that through a text and she texted back and said see i dont want to know about that it hurts me, i want to forget that place to be honest, my heart broke there. she texted back, and so on, she later called that night, i was deppresed, sad, didnt know what to say do, anymore, i passed out, so i wouldnt do something stupid, on the floor i fell asleep, she called me that night, but i missed her call, and its been a day since then and she didnt call tonight or all day, so i dont know what to do, im not sure, i love her, i know she cares, she said to my face she did when she was here, but she said i care but i cant show it, i dont get that, i want her to show it, she said like i said earlyer i care, i think we shouldnt talk period,....i dont know what to do, ive always heard absense makes the heart grow fonder but god i pray im praying to god thats the truth, should i give her space, time to think, time to see im right here, that guys shes always known, been through so much with, ups and downs, but through it all we were in it together, should i do that? give her time, see what she does, if she calls, how long, i fear if we dont talk its only going to get worse because we hardly talked and its ending like this, but everyone says absense makes the heart grow fonder but is it really true, will she realize, will she take that step, miss me even, do i need to give her that, space, that time, i just dont want to lose her, shes had a huge impact on my life and i know i have had one on hers by what shes told me before and wrote and i just keep praying and repeating that in my head over and over again. i know this is alot and its bits and pieces but its not some little kid game to me, any advice, any same situation, anything. thank you in advance.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Okay, I am not sure that you will get many responses. It would be easier if you broke this up into paragraphs and perhaps gave a much shorter version of the problem and your question. It is a bit difficult to read all of this. What I will say, however, is that sometimes you have to give someone space and not show neediness and desparation.

[player11bball]

this might help out.

 

A little back ground may help.

so you have been dating her for a little over

a year and a half. everything is perfect both

happy both this then its just like she never

seems to have time, she says she never has

time anymore, to call, anything, she only calls

at night, because she things i wanna talk 9549834

hours, which isnt true i just want to talk, you know,

how was your day, simple i love you, reminder you know.

but its always goodnight i love you, maybe more, maybe less,

she says im tired we'll catch up tmrw, but it doesnt happen.

it was never this hard, it was never like this, we have broken

up, its always been her, take breaks, short ones, a couple of

times but it is real love so its always been us back together

the way it was meant to be, but this is really hard to explain

as understand im sure, but theres no point in arguing over

goodnight but it just happens and it blows up into this big

thing that should be nothing. sometimes she'll get frustrated,

and say things, random things, because yeah shes tired and

cranky and its late at night, but i always say i tried calling

you earlier, i tried, you could've called me back, you could text

me, anything..but she says i was watching tv, or with my mom, simple

things, its always time, time time time with her, im like wheres my

time, why cant you have time for me, theres always a point in the day

where your watching tv on your bed, you can call be like hey i love you,

you know something sweet, you used to do those things, but oh i dont have

time, i get really into my shows like the hills and such you know. i know

she does get into them but still its the thought. but to help we live 5 hours

away, which we see eachother every month for a full weekend, she comes, then i

come the next, sometimes we see eachother more than once in a month.

 

 

 

 

but this past weekend, she came, prior to this, we were taking things

slow, working on us, taking it slow, ect ect.. but this past weekend

she came, i guess we aren't dating but still talk and she calls on the

way up with her mom, says ill see you soon, ill call you when were closer

and says i love you still and a couple days before she came it was looking

up hearing i love you, this and that about the weekend, it felt like everything

was working out looking up, like we were "us" she came this past weekend, got

here at night time, and we usually hangout in the room and watch movies listen

to music talk, ect ect but this time was diffrent not to mention, my sister and

her boyfriend are going through this big fighting stage were she found out from

one of his friends who called my sister and left a voice mail saying hes cheated

on you, lied to you, does stuff behind your back, so when the person i love got

to my house, it was okay, then my sister got that voicemail and freaked out like

crazy and then he came, her boyfriend and it was a bad night to be with the person

i love with my sister yelling and everything going on it was just not how i wanted

or planned and then we thought we werent going to get "our" time together with

everything going on in my house, but my sister settled down, her supposably boyfriend

left and my mom calmed her down outside so i was like lets not let this ruin our weekend

together, and locked the door and tried not to worry about all going on, but we finally got

our time, talked, started a movie, do our usual stuff, but we both felt bad or weird idk

because of everything going on in my house, when we were done and and she was about to leave

my house like 4 hours later, she just got quiet in the bed laying down she didnt say anything,

wouldnt come close, no we didnt have sex, we didnt go that far, but anyways she wouldnt talk,

i laid down beside of her and said baby come here please, and touched her like a come here,

and she said what, like she was facing the other way and what not, like closed eyes,

looks like sleeping, but she was thinking it was a kind of ehh what when i said baby

come here, but i said never mind and rolled over to see if she would say something or

roll towards me, but 5-10 mins went back and she said nothing, then she looked over

and said whats wrong, i said, well it feels like im being ignored, she replys, im not

trying to ignore you, i said come here baby please, she came over and laid next to me,

and said was something different, i said what do you mean, she said was something

different, as in something felt different, i said well with everything going on in my house?

she said well no kinda like yeah but no idk but she said what we did didnt feel

like normally does, she said like no emotion, and i was like what do you mean ect..

but she left and didnt say anything. like i walked her out, she was just like do you

want me to call you in the morning when i wake up? i was like yes please, and she said okay,

and just opened the door and looked and got in without saying anything, no bye no i love you,

and she had said i love you the whole way up to my house and the time there a couple times,

i was really sad, wondering why, felt bad she had to come when everything in my house was

going how it was, but she came the next day, she was suppose to stay 3 hours or so but said

she was only staying an hour, so we went upstairs and started talking, and said she needs time,

not talking to eachother at all, earlier when i said we only talked at night, i brought that

up and i was like we hardly talk now, she was like thats the point i guess, so im just

confused and thinking and looking at her, and she basically just said that, and other stuff

like little arguments that blow up like i said earlier, she said your going to get over me

you will, i said we'll see about that, it wont happen, i love you, i care for you, i said

dont you, she said yes but i cant show you, then you'll see it, im just thinking to myself

what does this mean why why why why does she want to not talk at all, not anything anymore,

the hour went by to fast because she was suppose to stay longer and it was time to leave

her mom came called her said im out side and she got up and said are you coming downstairs

and i said yes, she said well you dont have to, but i did, walked her outside to her moms

jeep, she stopped at the door of the jeep, looked at me for a min, opened the door, looked

at me again, got in, looked at me, closed the door, she didnt say anything, nothing. her

mom backed up, and drove off i just looked at her through the window stood there then slowly

turned around looked over my shoulder a couple of times, and the last one she was gone,

 

 

 

it felt like i died right there, i was so lost, so confused. now i havent talked to her

in two days, she called lastnight because she texted my sister and said will you tell him

i have to just ask him one more question my sister texted back and said im sorry you had

to see me like that lastnight im sorry if i ruined yalls night, she didnt text back, then

my sister texted again saying i told him that but he cant text you right now he says

because someones on the computer, and then my sister texted her said he, or me, just

came up to my sister and said why me tab{my sisters name} i said why me and walked

away out the front door, my sister told her that through a text and she texted back

and said see i dont want to know about that it hurts me, i want to forget that place

to be honest, my heart broke there. she texted back, and so on, she later called that

night, i was deppresed, sad, didnt know what to say do, anymore, i passed out, so i

wouldnt do something stupid, on the floor i fell asleep, she called me that night, but

i missed her call, and its been a day since then and she didnt call tonight or all day,

 

 

 

so i dont know what to do, im not sure, i love her, i know she cares, she said to my face

she did when she was here, but she said i care but i cant show it, i dont get that, i

want her to show it, she said like i said earlyer i care, i think we shouldnt talk period,

i dont know what to do, ive always heard absense makes the heart grow fonder but god i pray

im praying to god thats the truth, should i give her space, time to think, time to see im

right here, that guys shes always known, been through so much with, ups and downs, but

through it all we were in it together, should i do that? give her time, see what she does,

if she calls, how long, i fear if we dont talk its only going to get worse because we

hardly talked and its ending like this, but everyone says absense makes the heart grow

fonder but is it really true, will she realize, will she take that step, miss me even,

do i need to give her that, space, that time, i just dont want to lose her, shes had a

huge impact on my life and i know i have had one on hers by what shes told me before and

wrote and i just keep praying and repeating that in my head over and over again. i know

this is alot and its bits and pieces but its not some little kid game to me, any advice,

any same situation, anything. thank you in advance.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I don't mean to be rude, but your post is very very difficult to read. If you want people to respond I would suggest that you shorten it to the main points rather than go on and on about every little word and minute details with the word "like" thrown in. I would suggest you read other posts on this forum to see how other people tell their story. At any rate, I am sorry that you are hurting. I think you need to back off from her and just carry on with your life. If she loves you, she will be back. If there is true love then absense does make the heart grow fonder...if it is not true love then absense won't make a difference. So just chill out and continue on with your life. Don't contact her at all.

[player11bball]

thank you.

i think thats why im doing now

just waiting it out seeing how long or

when she will try to contact me not vice

versa so we shall see how long i dont know though.

thanks for advice though. sorry its all jumbled and long.

 

anyone else?

[player11bball]

anyone at all?

[NorthDallas40]

As CAD said, your post is hard to read, and I wasn't able to do more than skim it. My apologies.

 

But I'm not being cruel when I say this, just truthful: if your long & rambling post is anything like you are in real life, it's not surprising your ex wanted some space to herself and a break from your attention.

 

At this point I'd recommend going NC. Don't call her, don't text her, don't email her, and for now don't answer when & if she calls. Right now you're not going to do yourself any favors by talking to her, only push her away, no matter how sincere you are. In other words: GIVE HER SPACE.

 

And in the meantime, get used to not contacting her every day. I did this, and though it was hard at first, it got my mind & heart to a much better place so I wasn't SO dependent on my ex anymore. She may come back - or may not - after this period. But one thing is certain: right now the more you contact your ex, the farther away she's going to run.

 

Good luck man.

[karvala]

...

No. It has been my experience that absense makes the heart go wander. Love can only grow in the presense of two people. In person.

 

Absolutely. After all, NC is widely advocated as a way to get over someone, i.e. lose feelings for them. That's the ultimate form of absense, so it certainly wouldn't seem to make the heart grow fonder. In all things there's a balance, and sometimes a little distance can help, but generally speaking absense = decline in feelings.