Women always first to rebound after a breakup, true or false

[djbillblob]

Seems like in 8 out of 10 postings about breakups here, the women is usually the one that has a new relationship before the guys do.

 

Is there a reason why women can move on quicker?

 

Do they just heal much quicker or is it just easier for them to get dates as they don't need to be as proactive whereas a guy has to make an effort?

[zx-6r]

easier for them to get dates! I hate all women! especially my EX!..j/k about the all,, i do loves me mum!

[BlondeBoy]

Tough one to answer this. Mostly in my experience the girl has been able to find someone quicker than the man. Maybe because they can put on some makeup, get new clothes and make another man weak at the knees. You know how us men can be pulled over by that stuff. But they have also come back in some way when they have realised that they made a mistake by rushing out there and doing that. Female curiosity again!

 

Best thing is to take some time to yourself and wait until something you really want comes your way...and it will. People who rush to find a partner after a break up are probably doing more harm to themselves than they realise. You know the old saying "the only way to get over someone is to get under someone else" ..well that's just nonsense. Imagine feeling that used! It also shows no respect for the person who is unfortunate enough to be the victim...just leads to more hurt and makes you (them) feel used.

 

Sort yourself out in your own time and don't feel that love is a race or a battle. You miss out if you do and make the wrong judgements about people.

 

IMHO the girls that I have respected most after a break up are the ones who haven't prostituted themselves to get over it. It shows self confidence and clear thought.

 

If your ex has found themself a new partner and you are waiting for someone right to turn up, you can gaurantee that they will probably be envious of your freedom as much as you are envious of them having found someone else. Although envy is an ugly thing!!

 

Just be pleased that someone you once (maybe still) care about is (hopefully) happy and that your patience will be rewarded...that is what it is about. It is very selfish to think that the other person will not find someone else and will spend the rest of their life mourning the loss of your relationship.

[enadevoli]

i don't think that its easier for the girl to move on, i think it all depends on the person. i do think girls get more emotionally attached so when the guy breaks up with them, then they are more likely to go out & find some one riht away who will show them some kind of love. like making out, hugging, or i guess having sex. some guys can be this way too, & not all girls are like this, but i think its usually the girl who right away wants to feel loved again like she did with her ex. thats just what i think.

[Donny JeffcoaT]

Ya its sad but true. Girls don't like to be alone. Plus girls love/need attention. If a girl is single they will get asked out often. But guys have to get the courage to ask out a girl which is hard after a breakup plus they have to find a single girl which also seems very hard to find. It also seems like girls get attached easier yet can forget so much easier. I'll admit its hard for me to fully get attached to someone but when i do. I can't bare to let them go. But 90% of the time if a girl just goes out with a guy to feel better about herself it never works out and they will regret it in the end.

[The Morrigan]

I think part of the imbalance here is one of the big differences between guys and girls - their friends.

 

Girls (with close girlfriends) have their group of friends they can call every night, cry to, count on to drop everything for a night in of consolation and emotional sharing - not saying all, but most guys dynamic with their friends seems a bit different. Like guys will take their friends out for distraction, play games, play sports, but there's not as much of the emotional heart to heart spill your guts sessions there for guys - unless they happen to have some close female friends. This is anonymous, no need to worry about feeling any embarrassment the next day or awkward about saying more than you meant to in an emotional state. So we get to see the side of some of the guys they may not generally show, without the "public face."

 

I know it's seemed about 50-50 as far as how hard the different genders take a breakup - but I think sometimes girls (who have a lot of close friends) also have a bit of an advantage there once again with that emotional support group in place - just because it lets them go through the grieving process with full support instead of getting stuck in a stage. It's almost like having your own personal therapists on tap.

 

I'd be willing bet girls who don't have the advantage of good girl friends or who are reserved more like a "typical" guy might be about being emotional hit the same stalling points as some of the guys who get caught in the stages of getting over their ex - I know for a fact I did, and I've always heard I'm more like a guy in the way I think (very logical and analytical on the outside, given to extreme emotional ups and downs but rarely expressed inside, and mostly guys as close friends).

[Mar]

Alright, what DonnyJeffcoat said about girls loving/needing attention and it being easy for them to go out and get dates when single was a rather......er.....broad statement. EVERYONE needs attention (and I'm not picking on you, Donny, just getting the facts straight, or pointed in the right general direction, anyway.....lol) and love, and anyone with a broken heart will most likely react in two ways-isolate themselves completely, or go out and find someone as quick as possible because they don't like being alone. I was single for YEARS (too many to think about without being depressed) and never got asked out, much less OFTEN!

 

I think women can "recover" more easily from a breakup because we're a little more intuitive to problems, whereas men tend to ignore them or think that, once they've had their say on it (notice I say "had their say", not "had a discussion and LISTENED) they figure it's done and over with. And again, I'm not slamming any of you guys, it's just been my personal experience. So when the breakup DOES come, it's more of a surprise to men than women, and women have had "preprocessing" time to think about it and prepare themselves.

 

I'm sure many will say I'm way off the mark, and that's fine....as I said, that's just been my experience and the viewpoints of both men and women I've talked to about this!

 

Mar

[luxe_13]

I don't think it is a girl thing to enter a rebound relationship. My bf broke up with me 2 months ago and he is the one already in new a relationship whilst that it the last thing i am thinking about. i think it depends on the person. people deal with breakups in many different ways

[blueyed99]

I don't think that women rebound faster than men. My ex BF started seeing someone not even a week after I broke up with him. We were together for over eight years. There was a time when we brokeup .. years before and he was beyond crushed while I on the other hand, at the time didnt care as much and moved on pretty fast - faster than he did. We ended up working things out soon after but ....

 

Anyways, I believe that the person who holds the most emotion at the time the relationship ends is the one who suffers the most, and is the LAST to move on. I broke up with my ex {most recently} but that doesn't mean I wasn't in love with him, more so than he was, obviously, this time at the end of our relationship.

 

I also believe that the "weaker" person in the relationship, that is, the person who isn't as comfortable with himself/herself and/or may not feel worthy on their own without needing someone by their side is also, in many cases,the first person to move on.

 

Or, reason 3: someone in the relationship may already have someone they're interested in and/or have been flirting with waiting on the back burner. They're waiting for the perfect opportunity - to breakup, have someone breakup with them {in other words, set it up so their partner can't deal with them or their behavior anymore and ends up dumping them .. it's actually what the instigator was hoping for so they wouldn't have to confront their partner with the truth} so they can gear up and move the person waiting in the background into the picture.

 

that's what I think happened in my case. There was someone else waiting to move on in.

[zx-6r]

HOLY FREAKING CRAP ... THIS COULD BE MY EX SAYING THIS RIGHT NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or, reason 3: someone in the relationship may already have someone they're interested in and/or have been flirting with waiting on the back burner. They're waiting for the perfect opportunity - to breakup, have someone breakup with them {in other words, set it up so their partner can't deal with them or their behavior anymore and ends up dumping them .. it's actually what the instigator was hoping for so they wouldn't have to confront their partner with the truth} so they can gear up and move the person waiting in the background into the picture.

 

that's what I think happened in my case. There was someone else waiting to move on in.

...

 

THAT EVEN MIGHT BE HER WHO MADE THAT LAST POST.... but the writing doesn' sound like hers.. but all of the circumstances are exact... 8 years !! break up, get back together !!! this last time !!! she had some dude on the back burner !!! damn,,,, life is so weird that this crap happens the same and to all of us !!!!!!!! burn in hell ! freakin hoe can't keep her legs shut.. it takes a week to get in her pants for anyone... get some self respect !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[djbillblob]

i'm just reflecting what i read on the boards

[needafriend]

You are completely right!!!

 

My boyfriend of a year doesnt want to be with me anymore even though I love him more than life. A girl gets rejected, its natural instint for her you go where she know she feels wanted!!

 

I know that being with someone else will help me move on. Im not waiting around for my braindead ex to come crawling back - its not going to happen!!!

 

Do what you have to do.