BlondeBoy

Leave them wanting more is the way I look at it. If you give someone everything, you end up feeling like you are doing all the work, they feel smothered, or vice versa, so the relationship breaks down. If you truly want someone in your life and they want to be in yours, you will both work hard at it and be sensitive to the other persons requirements. As has been said before, don't go comparing relationships, take each on their own merit. We all would like a partner who worships the ground we walk on but that just isn't fair or right. A good relationship involves two equals who are secure enough to know that the other person is with them for a lots of reasons. As soon as one person starts to lose their independence or their ability to think for themselves then it is doomed. One gf said that I was needy as I wanted a healthy relationship and was willing to work at it, yet she was the one who kept calling when I worked late in the office cos she was all alone. A case of different points of view there! If only there was a book on this stuff!!

Tough one to answer this. Mostly in my experience the girl has been able to find someone quicker than the man. Maybe because they can put on some makeup, get new clothes and make another man weak at the knees. You know how us men can be pulled over by that stuff. But they have also come back in some way when they have realised that they made a mistake by rushing out there and doing that. Female curiosity again! Best thing is to take some time to yourself and wait until something you really want comes your way...and it will. People who rush to find a partner after a break up are probably doing more harm to themselves than they realise. You know the old saying "the only way to get over someone is to get under someone else" ..well that's just nonsense. Imagine feeling that used! It also shows no respect for the person who is unfortunate enough to be the victim...just leads to more hurt and makes you (them) feel used. Sort yourself out in your own time and don't feel that love is a race or a battle. You miss out if you do and make the wrong judgements about people. IMHO the girls that I have respected most after a break up are the ones who haven't prostituted themselves to get over it. It shows self confidence and clear thought. If your ex has found themself a new partner and you are waiting for someone right to turn up, you can gaurantee that they will probably be envious of your freedom as much as you are envious of them having found someone else. Although envy is an ugly thing!! Just be pleased that someone you once (maybe still) care about is (hopefully) happy and that your patience will be rewarded...that is what it is about. It is very selfish to think that the other person will not find someone else and will spend the rest of their life mourning the loss of your relationship.

Dating other people so soon after ending the relationship with you is probably more down to loneliness than having moved on emotionally. Some people need to have that feedback from the opposite sex to make themselves feel good. Even so, it is a little insensitive. This girl is going to have to prove to you just how serious she is, that is if she is ...could be female curiosity or a weakness on her part. She can demonstrate that by laying off the other fellas for a start! You gotta ask yourself is it you she wants or just a relationship? Do yourselves a favour and get over each other before you consider getting back. Just being lonely or missing someone is not a valid reason to relight an old flame. If you are moving in the near future, your life is going to change and chances are you will too. Imagine if you missed out on oppurtunities with other fantastic girls only to find that when you met up with this one again, both of you had changed beyond recognition or that she had found another bloke.

You are not crazy for doing all that thinking and worrying. It is completely natural...especially after four years! Anyone who says that they don't feel like that either lies or has no heart. Loneliness is a major part of losing a soulmate, it makes you human...but it doesn't mean that the person you miss is the right one. Ask yourself, do you really want this person back..if it doesn't work out again, you are just setting yourself up for more of the same and missing out on the opportunity to meet that special person. There are good reasons for people breaking up and chances are they will still be there if you did reunite. Just use this time to get yourself back together and enjoy having no ties. A happy, confident person is much more attractive..and that is what you will be in time. It is true that time heals. But more importantly, you can heal yourself and you will feel so much better soon. Moving on can be hard to do and doesn't necessarily have to involve other people. Also you need a clean break to be fair on yourself. Otherwise this will just keep messing you up and life's too short for all that! Sorry for the long post, but I split from my gf of 5yrs about three months ago so I know where you are coming from...and yes he probably thinks of you lots too. ..but it doesn't mean that having him back is going to be the best thing for the both of you.