Trying to get the second date...

[enkymion]

Well I never heard anything... So I think I got my answer.

 

Should I make any more attempts? I like her but I'm not desperate and I'm not trying ot play myself.

[annie24]

i think you should be a bit more patient. you never know why someone isn't getting back to you. could be she's busy with family, left her phone uncharged, etc.... lack of response doesn't necessarily equal lack of interest. in the early stages, i'd give someone up to a week, and if they don't call by then, then i mentally take them off my list.

[enkymion]

That seems reasonable. I guess I just feel that girls make time for what they want. I'll just leave it alone. If she's interested, she'll call or text or something. Nothing else I can do really.

[enkymion]

I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated. But I did just think of something...

 

If she was blowing me off, wouldn't she have not responded to any of my text messages at all. Like, when I was small talking she responded but when I actually asked her if she was free soon that's when the responses stopped. With this bit of information, do you all think its more likely a blow off or inadvertent negligence?

 

Thanks to everyone for their responses.

[boo121]

wait for her to get back to you, then you can decide when you want to meet up with her again. in the meantime dont worry

[boo121]

Advice on how long I should wait before I contact her?

 

4 hours, 16 minutes and 12 seconds.

[annie24]

That seems reasonable. I guess I just feel that girls make time for what they want. I'll just leave it alone. If she's interested, she'll call or text or something. Nothing else I can do really.

 

i think men are the same way. there have been plenty of times when i have been interested in a guy, and staring at the phone waiting for him to call. it's kind of annoying and pointless, really. do something else, watch a movie, clean your room, etc.... get busy and if she calls she calls, if she doesn't, oh well, next!

[enkymion]

I just can't decide if I should make a last attempt to contact her or not...

[enkymion]

Ive decided. I'll call her tomorrow. After that, unless she picks up or responds in some way, I'm done.

[lady00]

Didn't you already leave a message? I wouldn't call again if I were you.

[Shudder]

how many times have you called her?

[enkymion]

I text her Saturday. I haven't called once since our date. And man, Monday is my BDay. If I can't get some luck that day then damn I guess its not meant to be! LOL.

[lady00]

Oh, sorry, I misread one of your posts. Ignore my other post. It's fine to call her tomorrow. Make sure you leave a voice message if she doesn't answer.

[Shudder]

i'm kinda in the same situation myself, minus the first date... sent a txt saturday, got 1 reply and sent another and then nothing. was an txt requiring an answer too. best would be to call monday and if nothing after that then move on. thats prolly what i'm gonna do

[enkymion]

aight dude we will both go for it! Hopefully my bday will give us some charm! Post back with how it goes! I will too whether its good or not.

[lady00]

I'm not a fan of texting as a means of communicating about setting up a date. I think it's often ineffective. For other purposes--fine. But for setting up a date, I'd prefer calling.

[Shudder]

yea.. the txt was just like enkymion's, a 'how are you' txt. i'm calling tmrw though to see if i can set something up.

[enkymion]

I'm not a fan of texting as a means of communicating about setting up a date. I think it's often ineffective. For other purposes--fine. But for setting up a date, I'd prefer calling.

 

Its funny you say that, and I agree with you, but when I called I wasn't successful but when I text her I got the date last time. Weird?

[lady00]

Texts like the one you sent can easily get lost in the shuffle. Sometimes a guy will send me something like that, just saying "how are you" and I'll get it when I'm on my way somewhere and holding a bunch of bags and just can't reply at that moment (something like this happened to me last week) and if I like him, I'll smile and make a mental note of it, especially if I want to write back a detailed reply. Sometimes, though, I forget, until something reminds me of it or I happen to pick up my phone later and go through the text messages. A voice message is much harder to forget about IMO, or even a text asking to get together at a specific place and time is harder to forget. A simple "how are you doing?" though...can be easily lost in the shuffle.

[Shudder]

Texts like the one you sent can easily get lost in the shuffle. Sometimes a guy will send me something like that, just saying "how are you" and I'll get it when I'm on my way somewhere and holding a bunch of bags and just can't reply at that moment (something like this happened to me last week) and if I like him, I'll smile and make a mental note of it, especially if I want to write back a detailed reply. Sometimes, though, I forget, until something reminds me of it or I happen to pick up my phone later and go through the text messages. A voice message is much harder to forget about IMO, or even a text asking to get together at a specific place and time is harder to forget. A simple "how are you doing?" though...can be easily lost in the shuffle.

 

well i didnt want to phone her too much, especially since we hadnt even gone on a date yet. i already called her up tuesday, txt her sat and gonna call again tomorrow to hopefully set up something concrete. i just never know how much or how little to contact someone initially.

[lady00]

well i didnt want to phone her too much, especially since we hadnt even gone on a date yet. i already called her up tuesday, txt her sat and gonna call again tomorrow to hopefully set up something concrete. i just never know how much or how little to contact someone initially.

 

My rule of thumb is that more than one unanswered call, early on, is probably too much. So if I were you, I would call and leave a message and then do nothing further.

[enkymion]

I think I need to clarify... I did ask about her availability over text. I didnt actually ask her out. Just if she was free... That's when the silence commenced.

[lady00]

I think I need to clarify... I did ask about her availability over text. I didnt actually ask her out. Just if she was free... That's when the silence commenced.

 

Oh, sorry...I was confused. I thought you just asked how she was. Hmm...I still think it's fine to follow up with one call and one voice message. Something like "I tried texting you, not sure if you got it, do you want to go out on Wednesday (or whatever day you want) to the movies (or wherever you had planned on asking her to go)?"

[enkymion]

Like I said, hopefully I'll get a little bday charm.

[Shudder]

My rule of thumb is that more than one unanswered call, early on, is probably too much. So if I were you, I would call and leave a message and then do nothing further.

 

oh i forgot to say that my first call, i left a VM, and she returned my call the evening after. so basically i haven't really had an unanswered call yet...