Ladies, this is a sure way to turn a guy off on a Friday Night

[ConfusedDater]

Last night I was home and talked to this new girl for the 2nd time on the phone and when she asked this question on a friday night while i'm in a pair of sweatpants winding down from the long work week and right before a memorial holiday weekend I never ever want to hear a woman ask me something this stupid on the phone.

 

 

"So what are your career plans in the next 5 years"

 

 

HUH?????, I didn't let it show in my voice over the phone but I was very annoyed and she won't be getting anymore calls from me. That is not something I want to discuss with a girl on a friday night

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Huh! She was making conversation..relax. Nothing wrong with her asking about your career goals, even on a Friday night. You are going to let this ruin something that was going so well!

[ConfusedDater]

Huh! She was making conversation..relax. Nothing wrong with her asking about your career goals, even on a Friday night. You are going to let this ruin something that was going so well!

 

 

You mean to tell me with this being ou second conversation on a friday night and withmeorial day weekend being here and the summer season approacing there was nothing else for her to ask but that?_LOL

[Dako]

Maybe she just couldn't see your sweatpants.

 

If your workweek got to you, don't blame her.

[Nixee]

Well ..... did she ask it like a potential employer would ask an interviewee? Or did she ask it conversationally..... like... say... someone trying to get to know a new person in their life?

 

I dunno... I don't really see anything wrong with that question. Or rather, wanting to know that information. Though maybe the wording of it is a bit odd.

 

But to me, if I'm starting to date someone, sure.... wanting to know their goals is important.

 

For all she knows you could be planning on being a career dog trainer and she has an allergy to dogs

[ConfusedDater]

Maybe she just couldn't see your sweatpants.

 

If your workweek got to you, don't blame her.

 

I didn't say I had a bad work week, I said I was just happy it was over and not in the mood to discuss something having to do with my career plans

[livinginsbi]

I think you're overreacting a bit. Sounds like one of those standard questions from a book entitiled.. 'great conversation starters' I tend to be a natural at it, but a lot of people need help.. Perhaps she just chose the wrong question for your frame of mind.

 

Sounds to me like she might have struck a nerve with you? Do you have carreer issues?

[ConfusedDater]

Well ..... did she ask it like a potential employer would ask an interviewee? Or did she ask it conversationally..... like... say... someone trying to get to know a new person in their life?

 

I dunno... I don't really see anything wrong with that question. Or rather, wanting to know that information. Though maybe the wording of it is a bit odd.

 

But to me, if I'm starting to date someone, sure.... wanting to know their goals is important.

 

For all she knows you could be planning on being a career dog trainer and she has an allergy to dogs

 

 

No need for that question before a first date

[ConfusedDater]

I think you're overreacting a bit. Sounds like one of those standard questions from a book entitiled.. 'great conversation starters' I tend to be a natural at it, but a lot of people need help.. Perhaps she just chose the wrong question for your frame of mind.

 

Sounds to me like she might have struck a nerve with you? Do you have carreer issues?

 

 

 

 

I only like "UNSCRIPTED PHONE CONVERATION" Scripted Phone talk is the worst

[Dako]

You're right. I made an incorrect assumption.

 

You sure are strict.

[wurth_skidder]

I only like "UNSCRIPTED PHONE CONVERATION" Scripted Phone talk is the worst

 

Yeah, why do people always ask standard questions. It's so boring. That's why I never do that on first dates, and when girls ask me something standard, I try to look at her hands and ask her, "Can I see that list of standard questions you're hiding?"

[Suzanne1281]

I dont' want to be mean, but that is kind of immature on your part. It was only your second phone call...she was trying to make conversation. It's awkward in the beginning and sometimes it's hard to come up with topics to talk about on the phone. If you like her, I don't think that's a reason to not call her again.

[Nixee]

No need for that question before a first date

 

Need? I don't think it is about need. I think it is about defensiveness vs. just making conversation and getting to know someone.

 

The better question would be.... why did her asking you this turn you off so much?

 

Does it make you think she is only interested in men for their career/money? Do you really think you can know enough about her yet to assume that?

 

It seems to me like it could be a case of a very innocent question that is being taken in a negative way, and it would be a shame to let it ruin things before they start.

 

Are there other things about her that turn you off?

[ConfusedDater]

Yeah, why do people always ask standard questions. It's so boring. That's why I never do that on first dates, and when girls ask me something standard, I try to look at her hands and ask her, "Can I see that list of standard questions you're hiding?"

 

 

 

Yes, No standard questions

[ConfusedDater]

Need? I don't think it is about need. I think it is about defensiveness vs. just making conversation and getting to know someone.

 

The better question would be.... why did her asking you this turn you off so much?

 

Does it make you think she is only interested in men for their career/money? Do you really think you can know enough about her yet to assume that?

 

It seems to me like it could be a case of a very innocent question that is being taken in a negative way, and it would be a shame to let it ruin things before they start.

 

Are there other things about her that turn you off?

 

 

The other question was

 

"Do I have any full length body pictures"

 

 

See I'm starting to learn that when it comes to most women, it's never enough for them to be satisfied. It wasn't enough hat I have a nice clear pic of my face from the chest up? Now my body structure has to be analyzed?

[wurth_skidder]

I dont' want to be mean, but that is kind of immature on your part. It was only your second phone call...she was trying to make conversation. It's awkward in the beginning and sometimes it's hard to come up with topics to talk about on the phone. If you like her, I don't think that's a reason to not call her again.

 

Why is it hard to come up with conversation in the beginning? You know nothing about each other, so even just asking someone what they're doing this weekend will open up a whole set of conversation starters. There's no need to do a job interview over the phone when you're trying to get to know someone's personality. Those type of questions are too impersonal to really find out if you like someone. I agree it's important to find out if someone has goals, but you can do that in much more enjoyable conversational ways. Just my opinion.

[ConfusedDater]

Why is it hard to come up with conversation in the beginning? You know nothing about each other, so even just asking someone what they're doing this weekend will open up a whole set of conversation starters. There's no need to do a job interview over the phone when you're trying to get to know someone's personality. Those type of questions are too impersonal to really find out if you like someone. I agree it's important to find out if someone has goals, but you can do that in much more enjoyable conversational ways. Just my opinion.

 

 

 

Thank you, keep the conversation light and fun over the phone just like on a date

[stereoeclectic]

I didn't say I had a bad work week, I said I was just happy it was over and not in the mood to discuss something having to do with my career plans

 

i understand what you're saying.

 

but that question is just one of those "i'm nervous, here's something easy to talk about" questions.

[emalkoc]

I dont get it...You have to learn how to deal with a woman...have not you yet?

 

The women can ask any question anytime...just be prepared!

 

And I dont see anything wrong with that question.

 

for example, I would have handled this way:

 

"oh yeah I plan quit in a year so, start making 3 kids with you...I stay at home watching kids, and you work. You support us and I cook and then I make sure staying in shape for your exotic dreams for our 5th year anniversary...then say just kidding..."

 

come on, chill

[ConfusedDater]

I dont get it...You have to learn how to deal with a woman...have not you yet?

 

The women can ask any question anytime...just be prepared!

 

And I dont see anything wrong with that question.

 

for example, I would have handled this way:

 

"oh yeah I plan quit in a year so, start making 3 kids with you...I stay at home watching kids, and you work. You support us and I cook and then I make sure staying in shape for your exotic dreams for our 5th year anniversary...then say just kidding..."

 

come on, chill

 

 

 

My answer will always be the same

 

"to still be employed and independent"

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Okay, I know some great topics that would be less boring on a second phone call: Religion, politics, abortion and the death penalty....guaranteed to spice things up!!

[wurth_skidder]

My answer will always be the same

 

"to still be employed and independent"

 

Your answer should depend on how much you like the girl. That question would make most guys uncomfortable, but if you like the girl enough, you should just shrug it off in a sarcastic manner. The way the other guy suggested handling it is a little overboard. I would have gone with, "I'll discuss that with you right around the same time we're discussing the names of our kids." Let her know it's too soon to talk about such plans with her by showing her how ridiculous it is to ask that during a second phone call.

[annie24]

personally, i don't ask that question that early on in the dating process. it's such an 'interview' question and very serious. on the other hand, if you are looking for a spouse, and their answer is that they want to be living in Tibet in 5 years, raising llamas, then you might know right away if this person is not for you! so, in that sense, it can be a good use of time. it can be frustrating to meet someone you like only to find that they are moving to germany in 2 months (happened to me).

[GHdancer]

hmmm...

 

i can see why you would take that approach when it's only the second time you've spoken.

 

that is the kind of thing you would ask sum1 like on a second date or third not on a second conversation.

[emalkoc]

Your answer should depend on how much you like the girl. That question would make most guys uncomfortable, but if you like the girl enough, you should just shrug it off in a sarcastic manner. The way the other guy suggested handling it is a little overboard. I would have gone with, "I'll discuss that with you right around the same time we're discussing the names of our kids." Let her know it's too soon to talk about such plans with her by showing her how ridiculous it is to ask that during a second phone call.

 

it is not overboard.. believe me! The woman in general loves confident, cocky guys if they like smart/cocky guys...I accept I have a very sarcastic humor but always turn on the woman. You have to know how to time it and smooth it out, and then steer her into the conversation where you want. but your suggestion is cool too

 

cheers

 

eric