Men Please Tell me something!

[allstarsassyone]

Is telling or accusing maybe asking my boyfriend if he cheats on me insecurity???

 

Just wondering...don't want to look angry or low down IF or NOT the question will ever pop up...

[andromeda]

...or just suspicion?

 

Why do you doubt? That's where we start.

[MrKawabata]

I agree with andromeda; Why do you not trust your boyfriend? Is there good reason for you to doubt him? If so, then what facts do you have to suggest that he is cheating on you?

[allstarsassyone]

Found one movie ticket in his pocket and one missing condom. Says it's ok to go to the movies alone. Couldn't the other person have taken the ticket? Says his brother used his jeans and went to the movies. He also says that his brother probably took the missing condom. Asked him if he has a girlfriend around here he says it is none of his business. Maybe i'm wrong. But, if these suspicions are going somewhere and if that's cheating. Isn't it? Gets angry easily. It seems like I HAVE to be nice and in my best mood whenever around. Told me that he was working on a schedule during the week. Then, told me a day ahead he was going back during a saturday to finish it up. Usually, he answers phones but guess he wasn't that day. Said there was another guy answering phones. That was true...but, what would he be doing??? skiing? He doesn't ski!!! He practically doesn't do anything!

[MrKawabata]

Hmmmm. I think your intuition might be correct. Can you investigate further? If you have a real concern, which I think you have, I think it is best to be honest and try to talk with him about it. He may deny cheating verbally but usually guys give themselves away via inconsistent body language. Do you trust your boyfriend? Can you monitor his habits? Do you observe inconsistent behaviour to the way he treats you? Is he a kind person? Does he care about you?

[MrKawabata]

Sometimes guys get angry easily if they have guilt (a dishonest man), or if they are falsely accused (an honest man). Only you can be the judge.

[andromeda]

with Mr Kawabata.

 

I still don't see concrete evidence of cheating. If I borrowed my friend's jeans and found a condom in the pocket, I'd throw it out. Especially if I was putting money in there. Your boyfriend can't and doesn't need to answer questions about his brother's actions.

 

As for him not answering the phones at work: so what? He was busy and someone else answered it. My girlfriend doesn't always answer her work phones and has also had to change her schedule to go in on Saturdays, even when she had a set schedule.

 

I still don't see a reason to be suspicious. Really. I'll be honest with you. If you're this suspicious and there's no tangible proof--and no past behavior or stories he's told about cheating to make you doubt him--then I think you either should talk to a professional or end the relationship.

 

No one's asking you to be nice all the time. But it sounds like you need to be with someone who you're more comfortable with, who'll you just trust naturally. It does happen. It finally happened to me. No more reading journals, no more wondering where she is, no more being jealous of her hanging out with other people when she's not with me.

 

Seriously. I've gone through this many times in the past. This is a lesson I've had to learn. Get some pro advice--not from an friend--or break it off.