She has me in limbo

[Systemic]

My ex-girlfriend and I dated from March 06-October 07. The relationship all-in-all was very good. We treated each other well, we were very much in love. Our ultimate end came as a result of some misunderstanding and the added complication of me moving out of state. She lives in NY, my home state, and I've recently moved to NC to finish up school. There was some bitterness in the end, we didn't speak from October 07 until March of 08. We started talking again, very friendly. She has a boyfriend and I was seeing a girl at the time.

 

A few weeks ago she told me she was planning to visit friends in NC and wanted to visit me. I said ok, even though I was sort've afraid. I still have a lot of feelings toward her and I thought they'd come back and I'd scare her off. She visited, the feelings did come back and I told her. She told me that she too still loved me, however she wants time to think about things and doesn't want to rush back into something with me.

 

I'm all right with that, I understand it completely. The problem is I can't help but feel like I'm going to get all wrapped up in her again and she is going to decide she can't do it. We're both in better places now. I've straightened out a lot of my financial issues and am returning to college in September. She has fixed her family issues and is in therapy for some emotional issues she has. I've never been in this situation before, I never ever speak to my exes but there has always been something different about her. I'm 25 and she is the only girl I was ever with whom I could see myself marrying. We never stopped being in love, we never claimed to hate each other. We just had so many other issues in our lives at the time and it seemed like they smothered us but we've both taken care of a lot of them.

 

I guess what I'm looking for here is opinions from anyone who has reconciled with an ex, whether or not it was hard, what to expect. I just am worried I'm going to get hurt again.

[greywolf]

Since you have had time to heal, I think getting back together won't be too hard. My experience right now is that getting back together is a lot harder than the first relationship. There's a lot of insecurity. If you want to go through with this, you just have to take things slow.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

If she still has a boyfriend and she doesn't end things with him then there is nothing you can do.

[arcadefire]

If you both broke it off with your current relationships to be with each other again then take it slowly. First make sure that she is completely into the idea of getting back with you. Otherwise it would be a half hearted effort.

[emalkoc]

If she is with someone for whatever reasons, dont contact her...Let her contact you and tell her gently that you cannot be friends and cannot be in contact with her unless she wants to reconcile...

 

Believe me! she will keep you in the limbo as long as you have these feelings and you will not move on unless you totally release her from your mind...If she comes back with "clear, I want you back" then you can consider otherwise, go NC and never look back...

 

You save yourself many months maybe years...

 

eric