"just friends"

[todaysbird]

Let's keep this question short:

 

Is it possible to be friends with a male who is attracted to you? Or must you end the relationship?

 

Long story short:

 

i have a boyfriend, my friend knows but still insists that he knows he has no chance, and just wants to stay friends with me. Is he lying? Is it possible that he's sincere, and even if he is, for this to work out? I'm not attracted to him that way because I love my boyfriend.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Well, most of my guy friends have had a crush on me at one time or another, it happens. So, yes, you can stay friends with people even after a crush.

 

As for this guy, I have no idea. Only he knows his intentions. He could just be waiting in the wings for a breakup.

[Jayar]

You loving your boyfriend and you being attracted to your friend "in that way" are not even remotely related. Boyfriend aside, you either ARE or you AREN'T attracted to him in that way. It's really up to you if you stay friends with him but (assuming it isn't just a little crush) you have to understand that he will ALWAYS be waiting for the opportune moment. That big fight you have with your boyfriend, for example. Friendship can work between men and women but not if the only thing keeping him from being your boyfriend is your current boyfriend.

[arcadefire]

There's nothing wrong with staying friends with a guy while having a boyfriend, even if he liked you before. Been in that situation before. Make sure that the friendship stays that way and he doesn't make any moves.

[Gracelove]

I honestly don't think it can work out, due to my personal experience.

 

I had a best guy friend who loved me for years.

 

He was really sweet and I really loved him too, but not in a romantic way.

 

When I got with my last boyfriend, he completely stopped talking to me for a long while.

 

Now we basically have no friendship.

 

It just doesn't work, because they can't deal with you "rejecting" them. They don't understand it. They don't understand why you won't give them a chance.

 

They just don't get that you just don't like them that way.

 

I would just let it go. Not go up to him and say, "I'm not going to be your friend anymore", but just let it take it's natural course. Eventually he'll get tired of everything and move on.

[ghozt]

its still possible to keep a friendship with him and not have any problem but just make sure a) your boyfriend doesn't have a problem and b) the friend knows there gonna be nothing going on ever

[ftheunion]

ahh......a classic argument

 

I argue from the male point of view.......

 

guys are not wired to be "just friends with girls"

 

hooking up with females is always in the back of their thoughts. Thats why they get feelings for you women!!!!!!!!

 

thats why guys get jealous. cause guys are easy.........and thus males fight each other when she is close in proximity to him.

 

females think its no big deal and socialize more and do the whole gathering and nurturing thing. Guys just kill eat, fight, do guy stuff, and pursue girls

 

so your gonna tug his heart strings if you want to stay friends, but this is peculiar since most of the time chicks wanna be friends with the world and know so many guys that loyalty is reduced to no more than mere temporary acquatance.

[ghost69]

no |||||||||||||||||

[LE DHUY NHUT]

I don't think it's a good idea to even try.

[Superfreak]

I doubt it has a good chance of working out. But at the same time, I am so SICK of this endless parade of guys coming on the internet to whine about how it's so unfair that their best friend won't date them. I almost feel like they deserve to have their heart broken over it just as punishment for their own stupidity, pining away over a lost cause. If you want to do this then make it clear that you're with your boyfriend right now and even if you weren't, you'd only be interested in being friends. If he does decide he wants to be friends then any hurt that's caused as a result is probably his own fault.

[lady00]

I think it can work. A friend of mine had that happen with a guy friend of hers. They worked it out and are now good friends. She is still with her bf. So, yes, it's possible if both people are respectful of each other and of the relationship and really care about each other as friends.

[My Advice]

Grace there is nothing wrong with dropping a friend, at least temporairly, if not longer, if there is no chemistry and he is in love with you. You shouldn't feel compelled to be with him but in turn he shouldn't be obligated to be miserable. Was this a guy you were physically or emotionally attracted to?

[My Advice]

Emotionally meaning was there anything that was your type about him.