to break up or to not break up

[kelster]

Every week, my boyfriend of two years and I have been talking less and less. Now we just see each other on either a friday or saturday. I'm going on a small vacation with him and then I'm moving 450 miles south. Last year, I decided to go to whatever college he wanted to go to and hated it so I left. Now I'm going to away for school and he doesn't seem to care that I'm moving far away (which honestly makes it a lot easier for me) However, I feel really bad because our vacation to Hawaii is this Friday and I don't want to go knowing that our relationship is doomed and there's really nothing left. I don't want to make it seem like I wanted to break up with him after the vacation...

 

Last year, around this time, he told me that he wanted more space. I had pretty much lost all of my friends by this point because I spent almost every moment with him and his friends. Of course I wasn't going to pine for him to see me... So I moved out and made a ton of new friends and eventually forgot about him. We broke up, I found a new man (rebound, really), and then my boyfriend came back to me and I left the rebound and moved back into the same town he's in again. needless to say, I lost all my friends again...

 

Now, we don't even talk but he claims that our relationship is going great and I shouldn't worry so much and I shouldn't stress over talking to him when I already see him once a week. He also claims that he doesn't have time to talk or see me a lot of the times... which is TOTAL bs because he doesn't ever study and all he does it blaze and drink with his friends and that doesn't even happen until past 10 pm. I thought, "well, maybe he's right and I am worrying too much." so we've been really distant.

 

However, I met someone new... and he actually wants to talk to me and he sends me texts on how my day was and stuff. I'm afraid this would be considered cheating on him but I literally have NO social life outside of him and the new guy. This new guy is also REALLY charming and handsome, quite frankly, I don't understand why he's even into me, yeah he's that gorgeous! Which is weird for me because I usually date the really ugly guy out of all the ugly guys.

 

So now I don't know whether or not I should leave my current boyfriend. I have tried talking to him several time for months but when I think things can't get any worse, they do. Now I hardly know if he's going to swing by and see me anymore.

 

thanks for reading and I would really appreciate the help

Kelly

[maryjane123]

hey, you dont sound happy. i def dont think you should do anything with this new guy coz would u like it if he did it to u? ur man sounds really selfish he wants to talk about what he wants to talk about and doesnt have time for your feelings because your feelings stress him. what kind of a man is that? you could do better. it sucks that u guys have a trip coming up. do u love him?

[greywolf]

Well, talking to this new guy is really not fair to your bf no matter how he treats you. Explain to your bf that you have certain needs that this relationship is no longer fulfulling, and just tell him how you feel about everything.

[Keyman]

I honestly think you know what you want...To break up with the old bf and start seeing the new. Make sure the new guy knows what the situation is, else you might end up with no-one. Then go on holiday with your b/f, have fun, make it a last goodbye, then dump him when you get back. You are already considering dating someone else, what's it going to kill you?

[kelster]

I know it's awful I'm talking to a new guy but I just get this bitter but VERY sweet kick out of it; and trust me, I've been trying to tell him that I currently do have a boyfriend but also having to explain my predicament. I don't know, it just feels really nice to have someone want me again or even remotely pay attention to me. I literally have no friends here. I don't know anyone besides my boyfriend and he doesn't even want to talk to me. Partially why I'm moving is because I'm moving in with my best friend and now that I met someone in the area, I feel that there's a lot of potential happiness I can obtain there...

 

 

ahh but I'm so torn because I really love my boyfriend and I feel like I'm trying so hard to try to make things go my way for at least just a little bit. oi vay... I feel like I can't be closer and more comfortable with anyone. oh jeeze