rockdude82 Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Hi Im 26 not had a girlfriend yet, quite a shy person I consider myself not bad looking, and I am finding hard to meet girls I've been trying this online dating and have been on different sites but never seem to get many replys and If I do get replys there usally only one line sentenses off people and it soon becomes hard to find things to talk about. Theres this one girl I really like the sound of and look of on this free dating site and alot of what she says in her profile is that we have very much in common but i did'nt even get a reply from her which I thought I'd might have, So I've come to the conclusion online dating sucks, I've been on it for months and had no success. Now I feel I need to find away of meeting people by going out but don't really know anywhere I can go to meet girls, I often go out around bars and clubs, I go down the gym, But where could I go to find somewhere I can start chatting and feel at ease with no pressure on me to people. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Tell me about it!!! I think it has something to do with the seriously bad ratio of men to women. Your "dream" girl there probably gets 100 emails a day - you got lost in the crowd. On-line dating sucks. Link to comment
novaseeker Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Bars and clubs are not great places to meet a potential girlfriend. Online dating is very hit and miss as well -- it encourages people to use checklists and such, and while that works for some, it works less well for others. You might want to look into some activities that you like -- like hobbies or groups or classes or things like that -- you might meet a woman there who shares some of your interests, and the environment is more conducive to getting to know someone. Link to comment
george237 Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 What does your profile look like. Maybe you don't sound that interesting and you need to change some words around. If you want post it up here and people can give you advice. Link to comment
MattW Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Heh, I'm pretty much in the same boat as you, rockdude ('course, I'm a bit younger, but still I'm messing around on some online dating sites, but I doubt I'll actually find a girlfriend through them. I mostly stick to OKCupid; I haven't really found any of my high matches particularly interesting, but I've had a couple girls write to me (and I've written them back, and we're sort of like "online buddies" now). Last girl that wrote me even told me that I was "really hot", which made me pretty happy, because I've never had a girl compliment my appearance before (and also because I never thought I was that attractive, myself... >_>). Link to comment
lillie Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Take it from me dont go to the clubs,unless you want to A) dance,or B) get drunk,or C) get laid.. Oh & forget the online dating too!! Only my opinion,but some on here have found all of the above to work.. Il let you know what works when iv found it Link to comment
lillie Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 link removed No!!! I joined that site this weekend & they've deleted me! I wouldnt mind but they never even told me!lol Well i didnt want to be a member anyway!! Link to comment
servedcold Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Online dating is just a tool in your social life. It is a database of records, not a "matchmaking service." With this in mind, for men, you have to do lots of data mining. Pick out 50 profiles in your area whose parameters you match and you think might be an interesting date. Mail all 50 of those over a period of time, sending an email personalized to their profile. These 50 emails will take about 10-20 hours, the same time you would spend out on 3-4 nights. If you approach it this way, you will have results fast. Once you are good at the net approach, you will be able to improve your profile and get your response rate higher so that in subsequent rounds of dating, you can mail much fewer emails. I started out sending 50, found a 4 month relationship that was fun overall (left me for a multimillionaire, she was dumped in six months), then sent 10 on the second goround, and ended up with a crazy woman who happened to be one of the, if not the, hottest profile in my area. That lasted 10 months (cheated on me). Next goround, sent only 2 emails before women started contacting me out of the blue, and ended up with the next GF almost instantly. That one lasted three months (mutual breakup due to different values). There were several flings among the longer term dating/relationships. I'm going to crank things up on match in the summer and will post the results here on ENA to help men learn how to do things right on the net. By augmenting my real world efforts with the net, I ended up having more sex in the last two years than any other five year period in my life. This was not, and is not my goal, but there are worse ways to spend the time looking for the right one than sleeping with hot women. There's nothing special about me other than having some talent with words; it just takes common sense and practice. Link to comment
lillie Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 If you don't get deleted by the spambots first!lol Link to comment
servedcold Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 how did you get deleted? never heard of such Link to comment
lillie Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 how did you get deleted? never heard of such neither had i? I mean im not an escort,spammer,scammer,havent abused anyone,didnt upload nude pics,didnt try to sell anything,didnt give my email...It must of been the cleavage that Trampler told me to show!lol Joke.. Well,i have been & apparently it sometimes happens & if the bots wrongly delete anyone,well they apologize..I didnt like that one anyway,it was too fast & too furious.. So they did me a favour!lol Link to comment
servedcold Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Yeah, that's a cheezy site. Stick with the pay sites. Link to comment
MD Geist Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 I have been on these pay site as well as link removed and you know Iv'e had very little success on the non pay site vs on the pay site where all I did was waste money, time and energy. Rockdude your totally right, online dating sucks because its actually 60% male 40% female so the chances of meeting someone you fancy isn't high. Id rather put that money in a good mutal fund then give it away. Link to comment
IronHorse Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Plentyoffish Would be more appropiately named Plentyofsharks since no one will write you... The paying sites are no better. I don't know what to tell anyone since if you have no luck with online dating and you're having no luck with nightclubs or through friends you might as well jump off a bridge. Link to comment
lillie Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Plentyoffish Would be more appropiately named Plentyofsharks since no one will write you... The paying sites are no better. I don't know what to tell anyone since if you have no luck with online dating and you're having no luck with nightclubs or through friends you might as well jump off a bridge. Thanks There is a bridge not too far from here! Not very constructive.. Link to comment
IronHorse Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Thanks There is a bridge not too far from here! Not very constructive.. I was speaking metaphorically... I wasn't suggesting to really take a flying leap off a bridge besides, if your luck is that bad you're more likely to survive the fall then you'd be ticked that you can't even get that right, LOL... Believe me I just hate the fact that women are so stuck up that they won't even give a conversation a try. I've written hundreds of messages and seen them all fall on deaf ears. I was always very cautious to write to each individual in referance to their profiles and not a one cared to answer with a polite thanks but no thanks... The club scene is just as bad I couldn't tell you how many times I've played pool all alone. Where's the danger of a date in that? You ask someone if they care to play and they decline... I just quit going out altogether, it saves money and saves my personal pride by not being hummilated with women who won't even speak to me... I'm so glad I have work and if possible I'd just stay there working all the time as the world has no other use for me... Link to comment
novaseeker Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Believe me I just hate the fact that women are so stuck up that they won't even give a conversation a try. I've written hundreds of messages and seen them all fall on deaf ears. I was always very cautious to write to each individual in referance to their profiles and not a one cared to answer with a polite thanks but no thanks... I don't think it's a case of being stuck up -- women who are attractive and have nice profiles get hundreds of emails. There isn't the time to respond to every one of them. And many women also take the view that *any* response to an interested guy will engage him, because many guys don't need much encouragement to think they have their foot in the door -- so they would rather simply not respond. Link to comment
Myles Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 I hate online dating and it makes me feel ugly as crap... Everytime I try to send people a message or a friend request like on facebook or myspace.. they ignore me and never accept my requests. Link to comment
IronHorse Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 I don't think it's a case of being stuck up -- women who are attractive and have nice profiles get hundreds of emails. There isn't the time to respond to every one of them. And many women also take the view that *any* response to an interested guy will engage him, because many guys don't need much encouragement to think they have their foot in the door -- so they would rather simply not respond. Yes, women are way too stuck up these days. I don't treat those I'm not interested in with such a lack of respect. If I'm not interested I just say so, that doesn't mean I won't speak to them... No wonders the world is going to hell in a handbasket? Link to comment
lillie Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Yes, women are way too stuck up these days. I don't treat those I'm not interested in with such a lack of respect. If I'm not interested I just say so, that doesn't mean I won't speak to them... No wonders the world is going to hell in a handbasket? Well i guess i must be one of a very small minority then? Because i kid you not,i joined over the weekend,got between 40 & 50 mails in the POF inbox & answered every one of them. I got one saying "i know you probs wont reply as i have no pic blah blah" But i messaged back saying i dont mind talking to you whether you have a pic or not.. Then i had one wanting adult chat & fun,i even messaged him back to politely decline,but over the day or two i was on we struck up a conversation about the rights & wrongs of casual sex.. Then one was a married man wanting an intimate encounter because there was nothing physical with his wife,even though every other aspect of their marriage worked,so we spoke a bit. Not to arrange an intimate encounter though!lol I was going to give him ENA's address.. The one i didnt respond to was a man who looked about 65,although his profile said 50 or something. But as servedcold said about not limiting your preferences & responses,he only wanted with a pic to respond,also had to be slim,between the age of 18 & 25 and so on!! I didnt reply to him! I dont know enough about the online dating subject. BUT im tending to think that the paying sites will be more fruitful because all manner of dross can join the free ones (genuine too) but people who are more genuine will pay for a site. Just my opinion & like i said im new to it. Well not even new really. I got accidentally deleted from POF & havent paid link removed yet. So i mite just go back to plan A,keep going out,just not clubbing. At the end of the day iv only been out a couple of times to meet a nice man,so im not giving up just yet! Link to comment
xtiarax Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Online dating is the worst thing a person can do as you get more hurt then you would in a real life relationship trust me i have been there and wore the t-shirt Link to comment
Lue Fec Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 Well, I just had 3-day streak of real life girls hurting me, and third one was my #1 crush and it crushed me well, all right(yesterday my previous #1 crush came to brag how cool sex she had lately >.>). Anyway, I just said myself "**** it" and entered first free social advertisement web page with people from my area posting, found few interesting posts and now I'm really wondering if I should write. Last time I tried I got about 5-6 replies from one girl then breaking out contact, lol(I guess I'm good for 5-6 e-mails, and definitely not good for meeting in RL). On that site people don't have profiles and just post mostly anonymously, then you can write an e-mail to them without knowing the adress and they just might go and reply. Oh, and I guess "Online Dating Sucks" thread might not be best place to ask, but should I actually post? >.> Link to comment
twentiesgirl86 Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 I tried online dating but all I got were older men asking if I could meet them in a hotel sometime. I think they were mostly interested because I am a twenty-one year old virgin. I didn't say virgin, but I put never been in a relationship on my profile so I am pretty they understood that. Actually one guy told me he would break me in. I stopped going to that site. Then there are other guys around my own age who weren't interested in because I don't have a picture. Then I decided since I am ugly and didn't want to put my picture up anyway no guy would be interested and gave up on online dating. Link to comment
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