really need some support/advice/anything!

[prettyhate]

I really need some kind words or maybe just to get this out of my system.

I am new here so thank anyone who takes the time to read and help out.

I am 26 and my partner is to be 23 in august. Age gap yes.

Anyway we have been together over 2 years. Just before our 2 years about a month before it he cheated on me with a younger 18 year old girl – he lied about it all and it was horrible then we went to counselling and it was an emotional rollercoaster for a long time – admittedly things were not the same

I could never get past the betrayal anyway so its only been a few months since I had been going to counselling working on us and he had written to me we were moving along he was happy etc etc.

Prior to the cheating he said I was not physical enough *I am not as I have painful sex problems and just a few other issues there…* but at the same time he was always wanting it and id be tired from work etc you know how it is. So ok yes he cheated I took him back but the night it happened he said I don’t want to start this up for it to end in a few months and had his defenses up and I said is that really what u want and he was like no no so did everything to fix it up and was and we were getting there esp me

Anyway he dumped me last week we had a morning chat he was quite sad and intimate and said he hated himself and how he has hurt me and he still feels like * * * * and is worried if this will ever go away (ie me feeling bad and never letting it go well trying to but slipping up on occasion ) so he had sex with me..

Then we went up to the shops and he made another comment about this not working so it snowballed again… I went off on a tangent about how I hate his friends the drinking the immaturity (really went to town but it was honest) and then in the car he just said this doesn’t work . it hasn’t been working.

And so we drove home me hysterical saying u don’t love me and he said nothing..

So he took his stuff and left

I called him later and was abusive and all over the place with emotions… he was cold

This is it my decision is final told my parents (who by the way were horrible to me and I ended in tears – very wealthy and commented on my weight and how my job was never good enough etc)

So it was just awful – denial is a killer. So then I went nuts that night and again … and then said I cant believe this I bargained I begged I told him how angry I was for him and how hurt and just he was so horrible he said I don’t love you and haven’t ( I still don’t get this bit because he had written me a letter just 3 days prior saying how well it was all going etc etc) total disbelief. Anyway so that was that

He called me to discuss swapping things as he was often at my house all the time and he left me talk for about 30 mins of the emotional journey angery sad crying abuse… and then again that night to discuss getting his camera back. Anyway I was not going to be at his beck and call so said ull have to work it out

I asked his friend to give him some stuff then they let me down so he got his stuff

We arranged for him to get it and then he UNNECESSARILY CALLED ME on the weekend going

Hey just leaving now is it ok to get my stuff (prob checking I would not be there)

He took it all and I only left out a book he wrote to me pleading me to take him back and a necklace I didn’t want – I still have letters and stuff don’t know what to do with them yet?

I am a bit numb and not teary today so im ok.. he did say well we could be friends and this should be amicable im trying to make the best out of a painful situation but its not painful for him

Straight away he is adding ppl on mysapce and facebook rekindling with girls who are socialites over this way and so much prettier etc than I am – he will go out get drunk and sew his wild oats – and I keep thinking will he regret this  but I guess not how could I ever be his friend again like he suggested?????????????????????????????????????? he doesn’t deserve it and I know that but my hearts a mess. He even talked about units with me that morning id ont know that he was ever trying to deliberately be an * * * * * * * but it was very cruel and to be told that hurts so much.

I keep saying I deserve better – I live with his friend who is ok about it all – I am so heavily embedded into seeing him or crossing paths … it makes me sick with disbelief at what has happened

And ill never know why????????????

I just needed to vent I feel like what he did was cruel and humiliating to be cheated on then take him back only for him to give up because its too hard and he thinks about sex too much

I keep thinking he wont find another me – but he will find a younger girl and be happier with her

Arh how do I do this how do I function its just rotten

[stereoeclectic]

i have been cheated on before and dumped several times as well. it's very difficult.

 

i am sorry that this happened to you.

 

it takes time for the pain to subside, and getting through it is difficult. the best advice i can give you is to take some time for yourself, let your friends make you laugh, and focus on your hobbies and interests. become a new, better, and stronger person. rise from the ashes like a phoenix.

 

my mom always told me that the best revenge is a life well led.

 

so live, and get yourself strong again. and take care of yourself during this difficult time.

[KG]

He is a cheater...you've done yourself a big favor by losing him. And agreed, best revenge is get through this....