I can't cum.... and I'm a guy!!!

[kevinm]

The title says it all. Arrghh, it's so embarrassing I tell you.

 

So my new lover and I were going at it... we are compatible, I'm hard, she's enjoying herself, etc, but I can't cum. After a considerable amount of time we just quit. I loose my erection, and we lay in bed just cuddling and talking. We did this for roughly 15 mins... then she starts playing with me, I get hard again, we go at it again and then within a few mins I'm off like a rocket. What gives? Is this some kind of mental block I have? If so how can I get over it?

 

Incidentially, I have a friend, who is a woman, who is highly sexual, and she is having problems with not cumming also. She's never had the problem before either. We are kind of in similar situations in that we both ended a long relationship, are both getting into something new with a new lover, and both have had sex early on in the relationship. Would any of these commonalities be a factor for not cumming?

 

-Kevin

[GypsyMuse]

When you say you went "off like a rocket" the second time do you mean you came the second time?

 

Then what's the problem? Women don't always come every time. Men don't always come every time. Posting that you can't come when you did is creating a problem in your own mind where none exists.

 

Don't worry about it. It's a new relationship. When you're more relaxed with each other you may come both times and you may not, but as long as it feels good, why worry about whether it's the first or second go round. Be happy you can go twice. Some people can't.

[Superfreak]

You can get over the mental block by not making it such a big deal. Just treat sex as having fun. Don't treat it as having any end goal. Just hump away, don't think about cumming just think about how great it feels and how much your girl is enjoying it.

 

Sex is just two adults having fun so don't put so much pressure on yourself. Talk dirty to eachother, use toys if you want, have a dirty movie playing in the background, whatever floats your boat. The more you worry about not being able to the more you won't be able to so just really try and let loose.

[redhearts]

RELAX! Thats all you need to do, is relax and enjoy the moment.

[KG]

RELAX! Thats all you need to do, is relax and enjoy the moment.

 

Exactly...let yourself enjoy the sounds, feelings, smells, be INTO it...relax!

No pressure, it'll come...pun intended!

[kevinm]

Thanks everyone. I do realize it is a mental block and not a physical one. I'm in my early 30s, no health problems, non smoker, etc.. no problems getting myself off. Just something in my mind. The thing is however, I DO enjoy the moment. I DO enjoy having sex, I DO have an errection... there's just something about the orgasm part.

 

My friend has asked me to expand on her troubles... she too says she enjoys the moment, the sex is amazing... but just before she is about to orgasm she looses it. Also, and I don't have this problem... is that she can't cum while masturbating either.

 

Suggestions? Mental exercises? Should I stop masturbating all together to increase sensitivity?

 

-Kevin

[liquer]

Lucky you! I'd swap place with you any day.