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why can't life be the way it was?


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Why can't life be like it was when we're young? When things weren't quite as complicated and people tended to be a little nicer and less hurtful, or if they were hurtful we weren't old enough to understand what they were saying was hurting us? I don't want this to be some angsty letter, but why does life turn out this way, when the only way of esaping the pain is to end it and keep it from coming back. And if it is such a nice escape why do people get so upset and not happy that they aren't hurting anymore? this is always such a negative subject. Yes it's yourself, but when you're in so much pain what much other choice do we have left? I think so often about this, and have wondered why I'm not yet. Any attempt I've survived. I don't want to be here, but I'm so afraid of people being sad. I don't want to hurt other people by doing this. I'm hurt, I'm broken, I'm alone, I want someone to tell me it will be alright, that I don't have to kill myself to end this hurt. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I really don't want to kill myself, but it seems like it's the only way to end this. Please, someone just tell men things will get better. that getting my heart ripped out, it will still come back. That after being abused, it will stop. that after the name ccalling and bullying, they will learn to love. that even though it seems like no one cares, that there is someone out there who gives a flip wether I'm alive or not. (and yes for those that ask I do have a therapist.)

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I read yourr thread qhost69, and thank you for telling me about it. Things have just been this way for I don't know how many years, three or four. suicide is constantly on my mind, even when thing are going good and I don't want to die. I'm medicated for depression, and I have multiple personality disorder. I really don't know what ot do with myself sometimes. I can't get this out of my head and the elf mutilation in't helping much either.

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  • 2 weeks later...

reading posts like this make me want to cry..i'm a lot different than i was when i came to this site, but it's a fight everyday against my old habits and fears and all the sadness that just starts drowning me if i let it.


i don't really know how to respond to this post, so i'm sorry if it's not helpful. i just felt like i should write something since it's so very similar to my old posts...


i don't know if i should tell you to find some thing, someone, some thought, to hold on to, to find something to just focus on, to help you through every day. or if i should tell you you have to let go, of your fears, all the sadness and pain and anger. let go and just know and accept that there are no guarantees for any aspects of our life, none at all. life is not always fair, or nice, not even close. accept it and live your life the best and happiest you can, because it's probably the only one we have.


i wish you the best of luck.


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As many good things as I try to find to hold on to, they all seem minute compared to the thought opf just ending all of the pain that is here. I just want this all to stop and all the stuff to just go away and let me live instead of leave me wanting to die...

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In a biological sense, the reason why we feel this way is because our brains develop and are able to feel these feelings compared to when we were little. Although we could feel such things as sad and happy, they just weren't as intense as we would feel them now.


People these days are so inclined to keep to themselves, there is no love spread among people and it causes many to feel this way.


Lemme tell you a true story, Probably everyone here remembers the Free Hugs Campaign, (If you don't just search it up on youtube). I remember after seeing that I decided to do it myself. It took a lot of courage from me to stand on the streets and holding up a sign that said "Free Hugs", I got a lot of laughs and weird looks from people, but here's something that really made it worth it.


I remember this sad-looking little autistic kid coming up to me asking for a hug, and I gave her one. Later that day I saw her again and she was skipping and singing to herself that "she believed", and that completely made my day.


The point of the story is that I think that people need to stop clinging towards themselves and lend a helping hand to people for once, even if it is a stranger. One of the reasons I joined this forum is to help people like you who are in need of a warm gesture from someone.


And I do give a flip if you are alive or not. I've read your story and I already feel a connection to you. I know the feelings of suicide, I know the feelings of hopelessness but there's always a push for better.


Sorry if I didn't help much but I would really like to

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