Deleting your profiles

[hers]

Since a lot of us on here depend on the internet to date, I was sort of thinking about something and was wondering what you guys thought.

 

If you meet someone on a dating site and you start dating and it starts getting a bit serious, at what point do you delete your profile from the site(s)?

 

The guy I'm dating right now and I met on OkCupid and we aren't in a "relationship" so to speak, but it's starting to get a little serious. We were chatting about it last night and he said "Should we delete our profiles?" I said I wasn't sure. I did change mine to "Seeing someone" and put a part on my profile that said "I'm dating someone right now, so I mean it when I say I'm here for friends!" b/c I've been using that site to meet people on my side of town to hang out with anyway.

 

But do I delete it all together? Does he delete his? Or do we keep them up? Opinions?

[CaptainNapalm]

Well since you've met someone you already like it would be prudent for both of you delete your profiles as a sign of good gesture for each other. Afterall, the main purpose of being on a dating site is to find someone you like for dating/relationship purposes so if both of you feel you've found each other and are happy with the way things are going then you definitely should delete your profiles. Also, it all depends on what both of you are looking for. If you for example, are looking for casual dating only then it would be acceptable for you to keep your profile up but make sure you tell the guy that you want nothing serious out of him. If however, you are ready to explore a more serious relationship with him as you say things are heading that way, than I would say delete both profiles right away.

[ghost69]

i would imagine when you are exclusive and you both agree you don't need them anymore. but i'd talk about it.

[Aviatormy]

Since a lot of us on here depend on the internet to date

 

??? Since when?

[servedcold]

??? Since when?

 

Yeah, lots of people on ENA do or have done internet dating.

 

OP, have been in this situation several times, and still haven't come up with a catchall solution. Unless it is discussed, it's way too easy for one or both people to think taking the dating profiles down is the equivalent of agreeing to date exclusively. Next time I'm where you are now, going to take time to discuss things thoroughly instead of just agreeing to take the profiles down then chainging the topic.

[Aviatormy]

Yeah, lots of people on ENA do or have done internet dating.

 

Thanks... this is news to me.

[ycmanvs]

okcupid is not just a dating site and there is a function that lets you say that you are looking for friends, so there is no need to delete the profile. as long as you are honest about the fact that you are already in a relationship, there is no need to change anything.

[hers]

okcupid is not just a dating site and there is a function that lets you say that you are looking for friends, so there is no need to delete the profile. as long as you are honest about the fact that you are already in a relationship, there is no need to change anything.

 

My profile has said "New friends" in the "Looking for" field the whole time, but it just so happened this guy and I have really become interested in each other.

 

He brought it up--"should we take them down or not?"--last night, but I told him I don't know how to go about it, though we agreed a few days ago to date only each other for now to see if it goes somewhere (and it is! ) but we just aren't sure to take them down. He knows I have pen pals on there and am talking to a few people for friendship on there (girls and guys) and he said it didn't bother him. We're planning to talk more about it once we figure out exactly where we're going!

[bronte]

I kept my OkCupid profile up while I was in a relationship because I was still interested in finding friends and because I had invested a lot of time answering questions, taking quizzes, etc., etc. I did change my profile to "seeing someone," though, and made my bf change his to say the same (he had stopped logging on to the site at all as soon as we got serious about each other).

 

I think every couple is different, though, so you're probably wise to just keep talking about it as things change!

[catwalk]

Is there a way to suspend your profile like on Plentyoffish? If not, I think the way you changed your profile and the wording is just fine.

[hers]

Is there a way to suspend your profile like on Plentyoffish?

 

Not htat I know of...I looked for something like that and couldn't find anything.

[NoPainNoGain]

Since a lot of us on here depend on the internet to date

 

 

.....not me

 

I guess delete it

[Portage]

??? Since when?

 

I've never internet dated myself.

 

I'd delete it. See where it takes both of you.

[Batya33]

I hid mine and suspended my membership whenever I was exclusively dating someone, but not before. I wouldn't have a profile on a dating site "just for friendship" - that is what friendster/facebook, etc is for.

[hers]

I hid mine and suspended my membership whenever I was exclusively dating someone, but not before. I wouldn't have a profile on a dating site "just for friendship" - that is what friendster/facebook, etc is for.

 

Facebook and all of that is private for me and reserved only for actual friends. I don't go on there and add people I don't know...I dont see that and myspace as an actual networking place, b/c you don't know who is on there for what. Okcupid, however, has a section and people looking for friends, so you know their intentions. I see no problem with using a "dating" site for friendship, especially if i'm also meeting girls off there (as I have been) for friends.

[Batya33]

I would not feel comfortable if my boyfriend was using a dating site to make friends, but that's just me.

[hers]

even if they are guy friends?

[Batya33]

even if they are guy friends?

 

Yes even if they are guy friends. If he is looking for friends there are MANY sites other than dating sites to meet friends on line -there's link removed, there are hobby related forums like sports, travel, music, etc. And I would hope if he wanted friends he'd look for them mostly through real life activities not on line.

[hers]

Yes even if they are guy friends. If he is looking for friends there are MANY sites other than dating sites to meet friends on line -there's link removed, there are hobby related forums like sports, travel, music, etc. And I would hope if he wanted friends he'd look for them mostly through real life activities not on line.

 

Hm, well that makes sense. I'm on link removed and am in a movie group and book club on it. So far I havent used it much and my book club people are a little too into dissecting the books and that makes it a little less fun haha. But I totally see your point.

[Batya33]

I would think the point of a book club is to meet and dissect/analyze the books. I can see where it goes too far - not every word needs to be analyzed but that is an interesting perspective.

[hers]

In my book club, the one woman made it feel like school. I was an English major in college--I've learned to dissect books and all of that. But in the book club, she took it from being fun and interesting to very school like...I felt like if I didn't contribute enough, I wouldn't be invited back! Just wasnt a fun one.

[Batya33]

Me too -fellow english major here. I was in one book club that was more of a seminar and, accepting it as more of a seminar, I enjoyed it. I see your point and am glad you see mine about being active on a dating site when you have an SO.