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how long does it take to simmer down


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my ex and i have now been broken up for 10 months. i took it really hard, pushed him away really hard. he had said so many times for the first 6 or 7 months how much he hoped we could be friends, etc. then he sent me an email and when i responded with a lovely reply and then ran into him again he said "he changed his mind and we didnt need to be friends"

he did the cheating, the dumping, etc, and he is forgiven, but he was a huge part of my life and im wondering if after the wounds heal on both sides, will those things go away and make for a chance to at least talk again one day?


i have never really dumped or been dumped., but usually is there some eventual resolution or some mutual civility down the road?

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time will heal everything, i think down the road you too will be friends.. and if he doesnt want to that means something to me, either he hates you or he just cant becuase he still has feelings for you. the best thing you can do is just better yourself, use this experience to help with the next. good luck to u

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I disagree. I'm good friends with one of my exes, but it was a mutual breakup and no bitterness or time out of contact with each other. My most recent ex and I broke up this summer, she dumped me and said we would stay friends for sure. We talked a bit for a month or so, then she disappeared and emailed me very briefly on 2 occasions, but then didnt answer my reply. I know a lot of couples stay friends but I think it is more rare to go from no contact back to friends. The ones I know who have stayed friends never really cut the contact. I doubt I'll ever be friends with my most recent ex, although I would like to. I dont like cutting someone out of your life at all, but I fear that it does happen too much. So sorry, but I say dont hold out too much hope for a friendship down the line. It can happen, but more often I think doesnt.

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i tend to believe in the "the opposite of love isnt hate, its indifference" slogan. he clearly hasnt been indifferent as he was contacting me up until xmas, when he again said he wanted to be friends "this was 6 months after the break" when i replied saying so did i he never replied, then i saw him and he basically said when i cornered him "he had enough friends and didnt see the point" he said this in front of a group of people that he was trying to look cool in front of.

its really strange, i had a great date last night, even hooked up with a really nice, very attractive person who wants to see me again and all i can do is think about my ex today, and wonder if there is any hope for us to ever even talk again.

I miss him so

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  • 2 weeks later...


I MEAN I DID NOTHING WRONG, I JUST LOVED HIM...did i push him away after the breakup by fighting for him, yes.

he said "after 6 months of lc instigated by him" that "he didnt see the point in being friends afterall"

does this mean we will never speak again?

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There's no pat answer, but have to ask you, despite what you say re: forgiveness, etc., he cheated on you and dumped you, and you want this person in your life to remind you of this treatment going forward? Are you really considering this person as a potential friend, or is there still some hope of reconciliation on your end? Just food for thought.

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