one step closer

[Lostandconfused08]

hello all,

 

as the title implies I'm one step closer to bliss, or atleast as close as I will ever be able to get. I just got a new job, and hopefully in a reasonable amount of time I will be able to move out of the city. Away from everything that stirred up my emotions, away from my so called "friends". Its easy to plan, I just hope I'll be able to actually do it. hopefully I'll be able to meet new and interesting people, heck maybe even find new love.

 

well time to go get ready for work, have a good and happy day.

[darkblue]

Can I ask why you want to up and move?

 

What stirred up your emotions and why do you say 'so called friends'?

[Lostandconfused08]

well its a long story... i liked this girl.. i took care of her, gave her every inch of my heart and soul..and she screwed me up.. she dated my best friend.. and i had to hear about all that.. i found them losing thier virginity to eachother. all kinds of crap, and she was playing with my heart, she never respected me..she even pretended to love me when we finally dated.. but it was all fake of course... laying together in bed, holding eachother kissing, and SO much more. and i was so stupid for bottleing it up, stupid for believing her when she would come back to me after 6-8 months separation and NC. we separated twice like that over the past 2 years

 

and my "Friends"... i asked them to never talk to her after all this.. but i find that they get bored and ask her to come around, and i know she gets satisfaction from it, because she knows it will get back to me. i hate her for everything, i hate her for making me feel love, and i hate the power she has over me. no matter how hard i try shes still in my head... this is why i need to leave.. to get away from the familiar places that we would always go to, to get away from all that she has tainted. she has been killing me by degrees for 6 years now.. and im trying to break free of it all so that i can find some kind of peace

[darkblue]

Running away is not the answer. This is not your fault so why should you make such a drastic move to get away from it?

 

She is the one who should be ashamed - but that doesn't matter any more. You have to learn by your mistakes and put all of this behind you and move on.

 

Strict NC will allow you to heal. I know it sounds hard now, but you will heal. You will feel better again. You will have other, more productive, enjoyable relationships with people who truly care deeply about you.

 

I think you should try and get in to a hobby/activity or sport to gain new friends - and at the same time, it's something to show that life can be enjoyable again.

 

Ena is always here when you are feeling weak, too; but running is not the answer.

[darkblue]

 

 

I hope this poster doesn't mind me sharing his thread with you:

 

already been 11 months, i even left my old life to fly to the other side of the world to help me forget her AARRGGGHH

 

This proves the point that no amount of running away can make it hurt any less.

[civilservant]

It's the old saying that you can take the boy out of the city, but not the city ouf of the boy. Your problems and fears will chase you to the ends of the earth mate, don't move for the sake of this because you're better than that!

 

I don't know you, but as a himan being I feel for you. This isn't the way to deal with this!

[Lostandconfused08]

well i guess that makes sense, my biggest fear is that it could take 6 years to heal. she was my first everything, and it would suck if i felt this way for that long.

[darkblue]

Try not to focus on how long it will take to heal. You have to start living again. Feelings will then fade over time.

 

Diversion is crucial. You have to divert yourself from your negative thoughts. Get a new hobby, get in to a sport. Diversion, diversion, diversion.

 

Whenever you feel yourself thinking about her - Tell yourself, out loud if necessary, "STOP!". And divert yourself to something else. Over time this will become instinctual.