Litgirl01 Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 I can't cry anymore! This is coming from someone who cries during touching commercials...it doesn't even have to be THAT touching! I can usually cry at the drop of a hat! My grandmother passed away recently...she had Alzheimer's which is terrible in its later stages. So, I know she is in a better place and I know she is with my grandfather. But I haven't cried about it. I can't! I feel emotions! I feel sad when I see other people cry, but I just look at them with blank stare. I couldn't go to her funeral...because I couldn't handle it! It was an eleven hour drive. I just couldn't handle it. I'm sure there are a lot of people who are disappointed in me. What am I like??? The breakup has taken everything out of me. My ex's life is still intact. He still has his job, his friends, his clubs, his martial arts. My life is in shambles. He is in a new house...the one we chose together. I am living with my mom. I was a tenured high school teacher! I was very independent and self-sufficient. Now...look at me I'M JOBLESS! My ex goes to the club and whores around with his retarded (they really are!!) friends and I am ELEVEN hours away from mine! He gave it 7 weeks folks! I gave up everything and he gave it only seven short weeks of his life! After all that we went through to get me there! And now he is surprised that I don't want anything to do with him! I never saw it coming!! Really!!! I really don't know how he can look at himself in the mirror! I also really don't know what kind of person it takes to have complete disregard for anyone else! I can't sleep...I just needed to get all this out. Sometimes I just feel so angry. I've had my share of hard knocks over the past couple of years. I've just had it! I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I just needed to talk about it. All in all...I'm doing OK. I can still smile and laugh. Weird...because I can't CRY!!! Link to comment
DN Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 I understand that you are upset and do have much sympathy for you. But would you want him to stay with you out of a sense of duty or because he might think he owes you something even though he no longer loves you? Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 22, 2008 Author Share Posted April 22, 2008 Nope..I think not. I think he should have told me BEFORE I MOVED! Link to comment
lilypadgirl Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 Hey Litgirl, I understand your frustration and pain. I think after people go through so much pain and frustration, they become so numb and something inside turns off for a while. Don't try to force yourself to cry. It'll come at some time. But in the meanwhile, please take care of yourself. Remember the last quote in your signature...whatever happens, life goes on. So will you. You'll get there with time. You'll have a new job, new life, new things to look forward to, new things to be excited about. It may seem like he has a lot of things, but one thing he doesn't have...you. And that's his biggest loss. *hug* Link to comment
greensleeves Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 Welcome to the ANGER stage....I think that's what's happening to you and why you're unable to cry anymore. I've read some of your previous threads and you have every right to be angry at him...you uprooted your life for him and he almost immediatley became indecisive. He also hid the particulars of his past relationship from you and the fact that he was still seriously involved in her life. The anger is a good thing...it means you're on your way to healing from this, and it's far better than the sadness and hurt that you were feeling in the beginning of this breakup. That's not to say that you won't feel the sadness and hurt again from time to time, but at least when you feel anger your motivation to get your life back will return. Litgirl...I am so sorry that you're going through all of this...it's an awful situation. Just hang in there as best as you're able and know that in time things will get better for you. You deserve much better than he gave you. Link to comment
nickbroken Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 Hey lit sorry babe, I know how things get....sometimes you get so drained because it is emotionally draining....you will pick up the pieces slowly but surely...you have no choice it's that or sit on this board and listen to Eyes and I be pervs...as for your ex....pardon my french....but * * * * him....he is a jerk and karma is coming his way... big time....you will get it together trust me....you could always live with Eyes I hear he needs a roomie soon, lots of teacher jobs out here also. Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 Reasonable rates on the guest room. I still don't know if my housemate is moving out yet, though. Heya, Lit, the only thing I can stay is that it is probably not helping to obsess over his life and what he is doing. That only distracts you from living your life and moving past this, if that's what you want. I get that you generally put others in front of yourself and I believe that this is a time for you to be selfish and take care of Lit for a change. I see an incredible woman inside you, maybe its time to unleash her on the world. Link to comment
wtm78 Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 i am sorry to hear that... i have been in the cant cry but want to cry stage... i know it feels terrible... you feel so depress yet you cant find an outlet... i think it is perfectly normal to feel that way... dont hide it.. feel it.. dont push the feelings away... let them all come... after you feel all you need to feel... the negative feeling will be gone... hang in there.. Link to comment
musashi Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 I wish I could comfort you. I wish I could stroke you. I wish I could pamper you into happiness. But I cannot. Only two can untie the knot in your heart, either him or either you. Yes, it was wrong to not go. Yes, it was wrong he let go. But we are passionate people, we seek answers because we are weak. We are strong because we seek the very questions you pose. What kind of man leaves you? The kind that is too busy to see the rose in the garden, too busy to smell with his nose, see with his eyes, hear with his ears, too busy to feel alive. You, at this moment, feel more than he ever will. That is your gift. That is your burden. That is your hill to climb. Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 22, 2008 Author Share Posted April 22, 2008 Thanks guys! Yet another late night rant. I feel better this morning. We have some sensitive men on here! I'm impressed! Lilly and Greenie...your words always help me so much!!! Nick, eyes, and musashi - you guys always make me laugh (pee my pants laugh)! Wtm - thank you for your words! I'm glad I'm not alone! I almost want to delete this post! Emotions run so high late at night! Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 22, 2008 Author Share Posted April 22, 2008 Reasonable rates on the guest room. I still don't know if my housemate is moving out yet, though. Heya, Lit, the only thing I can stay is that it is probably not helping to obsess over his life and what he is doing. That only distracts you from living your life and moving past this, if that's what you want. I get that you generally put others in front of yourself and I believe that this is a time for you to be selfish and take care of Lit for a change. I see an incredible woman inside you, maybe its time to unleash her on the world. It's called codependent! LOL Link to comment
kluv224 Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 Maybe you can't cry because you're just too angry right now. Once you let everything go the tears will come eventually I'm sure. Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 22, 2008 Author Share Posted April 22, 2008 You're right misskitty!! I am going through a lot of change! Yeah...my ex is one of those who likes the chase but not the kill unfortunatley!! Good insights! Kluv - I'm sure they will come at some point! Link to comment
nickbroken Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 Eh I aint sensitive. I'm a heman woman hater! Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 22, 2008 Author Share Posted April 22, 2008 I am wtm!! It's a new day!! Nick...WHATEVER!!! LOL You are SO sensitive...don't be frontin!!! Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 Eh I aint sensitive. I'm a heman woman hater! Its true...He may be joining the priesthood. Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 22, 2008 Author Share Posted April 22, 2008 Its true...He may be joining the priesthood. Where he will train dogs and molest...um...nevermind! Link to comment
nickbroken Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 Yep Father Nick they shall call me....yeah but the whole celibacy thing wouldn't work...so nevermind... No intruth I love women...they are the most amazing thing ever created to me...they have so much power it's insane...just look at them...the way they look...their taste, their touch, their scent...the way they feel when they breathe on the back of your neck...they have the power to completely destroy you with a few words or resurrect you with a few more....they completely inebriate me in ever sense of the word...so yeah I love women...haha...ah well one day. Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 22, 2008 Author Share Posted April 22, 2008 I love men too... I can see (as usual) my post is going to pot! LOL All we need is stella and her vibrator references! LMAO Link to comment
nickbroken Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 Yeah wonder where she is. Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 Maybe she's busy with her "friend." I'll guess that its a better alternative to posting sometimes. Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 22, 2008 Author Share Posted April 22, 2008 I am watching the construction guys next door...they are passing big blocks from a platform to the lower level! NICE! Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 22, 2008 Author Share Posted April 22, 2008 LMAO Coco!! How are you doing??? Link to comment
coco3 Posted April 22, 2008 Share Posted April 22, 2008 better today... I had a good weekend, and by good I mean not pouting about the house. I did unfortunately run into some "stomach issues" all day Sunday as a result of my good weekend. Link to comment
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