Friends with Benefits/ FB

[bobsiesprincess]

Nothing up with that, don't get me wrong I'm not saying an FWB is bad. I was genuinly curious about those things.

 

I think if you're worried about him getting too attached, just don't always respond to him, don't allow yourself to do the things with him that would consitute being in a relationship.

 

If in time something grows, then great! but if its not what you're after right now, don't let him think it is.

 

ive been completely straight with him the whole time about what is happening, like i know i aint leading him on. and i dont do any relationship things with him... this sounds bad but like i wouldnt go out for dinner or the cinema or be seen out with him.

 

i duno, i think im too affectionate to not hug n chat n stuff. thats just what im like.

 

im totally worrying about this whole thing now though cos im probably on the rebound. i dont want to hurt him. he told me today he checks his phone every two seconds to check if ive texted him... eek.

[Mavh25]

If he's asking you to go out on dates, for dinner and the cinema and saying that about the txts then yeah, he really is getting into this far more than you are. Maybe you should think about calling it off? unless you see potential for a good relationship or something. Cos you will hurt him either way.

[bobsiesprincess]

This isn't FWB.

 

This is a BAD relationship...and the guy on the other end is getting all squished, bobs.

 

In a perfect world, everyone would take perfect responsibility for their feelings and actions.

 

In this world, people often talk one thing and mean something else.

 

He says FWB and means "you are my girl".

 

Not hard.

 

I think a true FWB has two people who want nothing to do with commitment...usually, in an emotionally distanced state...and for it to "work" as far as anything can work in a managable way...both people need to be totally on board for standing up for their own needs and wants.

 

Never works when someone doesn't know their own heart well enough to stand up and claim what they truly want and need.

 

sorry. Had to say that.

 

i think you might be right

[amtjrtcet]

Ahh right, thanks.

 

Do you kiss goodbye?? LOL seriously. I have no idea, I think it would be SO easy to feel like it was a relationship with just afew certain ways of acting.

 

No kiss goodbye, not a lot of kissing at all really...hugs goodbye, playful. Very light-hearted attitudes. No dinner dates or going to the movies, strickly in the sheets. Maybe watch some TV together and have a few drinks, but that's it.

 

It can very easily be mistaken for a relationship if the two people involved aren't completely honest with each other. As long as both parties understand that there is NO emotional attachment. Don't lead each other on, NO EXPECTATIONS. Both people have to have a very clear understanding that sex doesn't = love.

 

If you do sit and talk, not a lot of personal questions. The more you get to know someone, the more you feel like you have something. Be friends but strangers.

[bobsiesprincess]

If he's asking you to go out on dates, for dinner and the cinema and saying that about the txts then yeah, he really is getting into this far more than you are. Maybe you should think about calling it off? unless you see potential for a good relationship or something. Cos you will hurt him either way.

 

nah he doesnt do that, he knows what the answer would be! but yeh we kiss goodbye and stuff.

 

i think this thread has made me see this has to stop now, cos for me it will never be anything more.

[midnightrambler]

nah he doesnt do that, he knows what the answer would be! but yeh we kiss goodbye and stuff.

 

i think this thread has made me see this has to stop now, cos for me it will never be anything more.

 

a good FWB partner gives the the other one last roll in the hay.....happened to me years ago......i did her and pretended she was Kim Basinger

[amtjrtcet]

You see the person as much as you would a friend. Texting and calling a lot is bordering the line of a relationship.

 

FWB's never work though.

 

Never say never

[livinginsbi]

Here's how it went with my FWB's

#1 - An actual friend and still is. Think Elaine and Jerry on Seinfeld. We didn't do it that often, but when we did it was, well like a friend. Depending on when it happened, we might go out for dinner, or watch a little tv. Once he spent part of the night, but that was purely accidental

#2 Purely FBuddy. We had two set times during the week where we met at my house, then at his - went on for the better part of a year. We didn't see each other outside our 'time' together. After, yep, put the clothes back on, kissed a little, said goodbye and pretty much didn't hear from each other until the next time. We were both in school, had full time jobs, kids to take care of and had each other for - well, sex. We clicked and connected and had all kinds of great sex, but that's truly all it was.

#3 FWB gone bad. We started out thinking it would be fun. Two months in we were totally into each other and then the situation mulitiplied in confusion and frustration and still is.

So, if you have an fwb or fbuddy by the book, it's very nice. But I think a lot of people say that's what they want, when really they are looking for a relationship and then get ticked off when it doesn't happen that way.

[midnightrambler]

i need to get out more. perspective on the subject

[ghost69]

i don't do this anymore. girls get attached too much.

[catwalk]

FWB CAN work but you have to follow the 'booty call rules' and if either of you deviate you have to pull back and re-establish boundries.

 

Some of the rules are (off the top of my head): see them once a week or LESS

texting or short IM convos only - this is important!

do not share any of the same friends - also important!

minimal kissing before, during, after

NOT YOUR EX - nuff said!

no baby/lovey/relationship talk - keep it physical

no "dates" or public outtings - go to each others place only

 

so sometimes it DOES work, but you have to be emotionally stable and open enough to discuss this stuff with your FWB and be able to recognise if either of your feelings change

 

OP - you FWB is totally into you, if you don't want him as a b/f, you have to stop it NOW

[lv22irl]

It doesn't work with someone you've been in a relationship with before.

 

I'm going through it right now. We break up and then just keep having sex, then we just start hanging out watching tv together and cuddling, then one of us says we miss the other but we know it can't work and nothing changes. We still act like we are in a relationship, just not.

 

On round 2 of this now.

[livinginsbi]

I agree to most of this, but the kissing part. I still enjoy that part of the sex deal, but it's more of a sex kiss than a romantic one.