koreangelxp Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 hey everyone i just want some advice on this... just so you understand the problem. okay my bf of 1 1/2 years broke up with me last year 6 days before xmas. he told me that he wasnt in love with me anymore and then we talked about what our problems were and stuff and now were starting over and were just dating and working on getting back together and seeing if he can get his feelings back and so everything has been fine. We have had some arguments here and there but nothing serious. Today he just told me about some of the jobs he applied for... (hes looking for a better job, even though hes got a great job now, he wants a career) but anyways... he told me about one of the jobs he applied for might relocate him if he gets the job, and im upset cuz i asked where does that leave us.... and he said he didnt know he was just telling me what COULD happen if he gets one of the jobs. i understand that he wants a career and everything but it seems like he doesnt even care about what happens to us. its like your willing to pack everything and just leave??? i thought he wanted to make this relationship work and it seems like he doesnt. he told me that he is willing to do a long distance relationship if he does have to work in a different state, but thats just making the relationship were trying to build break apart. i mean some long distance relationships work and some dont. i donno... i know its not happening right now, but its can happen later in the future. i told him i understand that he wants a career and i completely support him in whatever he wants to do, but i just feel like he doesnt care about us and working on building our future together either. i even asked him if he saw us having a future together and he said yeah, and that his feelings are growing back... so why would he do this? any advice??? please help!!! Link to comment
littlestar Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Sounds like he is contradicting himself. The other thing is I dont understand people getting back together to try to see if they can get their feelings back. I have always believed it's either there or it's not,you either love that person or you don't, there's no in betweens. Just my opinon though. It's fair enough that he wants to expand his work choices and get a career, nothing wrong with that but i think he should've discussed the options with you first and see how it made you feel and if you werent comfortable with it you would have to come to some sort of agreement that you both are happy with . After all thats what makes relationships successful in my opinon, give and take a little, that's the key. Compromise. I hope it works out for you!! Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 If I were you, I would just worry about the stuff in the present and NOT worry about what may or may NOT transpire. He may NOT get the job that takes him away from you. Cross that bridge when that time comes. Maybe you can go with him if that were to happen. Take it one day at a time. Enjoy it for what it is now. Life is fragile. Relationships are fragile. what may be today may NOT be tomorrow. Link to comment
koreangelxp Posted April 2, 2008 Author Share Posted April 2, 2008 yeah thanks you guys... that helps a lot, and it wasnt my choice to do try again it was his...he wanted to try and see if we could work things out... but i donno... things are going okay so far... he still hasnt said i love you yet.... still waiting for those words... but at the same time he shows me thru actions that he loves me... why is it so hard to just say it??? Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 sometimes actions say more than words. I would trust the actions more than if he gave you some words WITHOUT the actions to back them up. Link to comment
littlestar Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 yeah thanks you guys... that helps a lot, and it wasnt my choice to do try again it was his...he wanted to try and see if we could work things out... but i donno... things are going okay so far... he still hasnt said i love you yet.... still waiting for those words... but at the same time he shows me thru actions that he loves me... why is it so hard to just say it??? I like both the actions and the words of "I love you" Just make sure you're not confusing him caring for you with loving you. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 I like both the actions and the words of "I love you" Just make sure you're not confusing him caring for you with loving you. Isn't caring a PART of loving someone? Link to comment
koreangelxp Posted April 2, 2008 Author Share Posted April 2, 2008 well i donno about that.... i know he says he loves me in some way... and he kisses my forehead... and kisses my hands... or cuddles with me when were alone, holds my hand in public and kisses me in public and tries to do romantic things... sometimes... the first time he did it was stop by my house just to give me a kiss cuz i had a bad day the day before.... but i donno if its love or caring... but he did all this stuff before we broke up... and he also calls me everyday just to see how my day is going... so.... im guessing its love... Link to comment
littlestar Posted April 2, 2008 Share Posted April 2, 2008 Isn't caring a PART of loving someone? I agree with that, but you can care for someone without loving someone. I have been in relationships where i have cared for someone deeply but not loved them. Link to comment
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