An interesting thought on angry ex's

[EyesOnThePrize]

When taking some personal development courses some years ago, there was a section where they were talking about changing peoples directions, and the facilitator pointed out that it is easier to change the momentum of an object in motion than it is to start an object moving from a standstill. The facilitator then drew a picture of a half pipe and called one side "love" and the other "hate. talked about how if there was a heavy round object at the bottom, it would take a lot of effort to start it moving up either side of the pipe. However, if that ball was already rolling up one side of the pipe, all you had to do was wait for it to slow down, and then a gentle nudge in the other direction started it moving and, in fact, it would pick up speed as it moved that direction.

 

I keep this in mind when I am having troubles with my ex-wife. She has a bunch of momentum going up the hate side some days, and all I need to do is wait for that momentum to slow down, and then I can give her a nudge back towards love, and that will go faster and faster. I'd rather have her mad at me than apathetic. As long as the passion is still there, its just a matter of converting it to a positive use. And, of course, the main goal is to get enough momentum towards the love side that it rolls off the top and stays there permanently!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

That is a very interesting analogy.

[musashi]

Love and hate are not opposites. They are two sides of the same coin. Both are expressions of intense emotions. One can turn into the other quickly. I have known many instances of people who started of hating each other and then turned around and got together. I know of more instances where people who love each other turn around and, very quickly, hate each other. The switch can be flipped devastatingly fast.

[EyesOnThePrize]

Musashi - I live that a lot with my ex. Its actually one of the things that gives me a lot of hope for a future for us. Even when we had a big blowup the other night and she was pissed at me, by the next evening she's wanting to talk to me again and today she's calling me again. Her "hate" momentum can go very high up the pipe, and then it swings back the other way. And I actually love that we don't have a boring relationship. Unfortunately, right now the circumstances have us apart. However, I know she still has the feelings for me. We just have to work through the resentments and that's going to take time.

 

As I write this and think about my ex-wife, I think about how her mood swings are going to drive her new bf nuts...and I laugh and laugh and laugh. I don't think he's man enough to handle them for long. And at least I get a break from them. Hey, I love the excitement, and sometimes when I'm on the roller coaster too long, I still get sick.

[musashi]

Eyes - Your a better man than me! I cannot stand fights and arguments. Neither could my ex. We had both been in previous relationships where that happened frequently. I often wondered if our lack of fighting was making the relationship stale. I will probably never have the answer to that question. If you like, I could hook you up with one of my exes that loves to fight. On second thought, I do not think I could do that in good conscious

 

That is funny about your ex-wife and her new guy. I think the same way about the mother of my child. I pity anyone who gets involved with her. I would not wish that on my most vile enemy.