Yeah, i need advice

[Amaranth]

yeah i need some advice here, the story is, me and this girl were best friends for like 2 years, she broke up a relationship over me just out of the blue, we dated for 6 months, the last three she lived with me, slept in her arms every night, anyway, one day i get in a fight with mom, she gets scared and leaves, says i didnt treat her right, she is kind of a depressed person who didnt take her pills regularly. anyway, said she stilled loved me, she needed time to herself just time to be single, time to be alone, she said she may or may not be back. love her very deeply, i was pretty broken up over it. never ate for a long time still aint, anyway, i need advice on how to move on or if i should wait for her to cme back

[SwingFox]

Hi,

 

I am afraid that the answer on your question is in your heart. Would you want to wait for her? If yes, then follow your heart, if no, just move on. Bear in mind that the only obligation you have in life is the obligation for YOU to be happy. If YOU are not happy, you will never be able to make someone else happy.

 

To process your hurt feelings, I suggest that you accept your feelings. Acknowledge that you feel bad and that it's okay to feel bad and hurt. You have been very close to this young woman and the feelings of love don't go away overnight. That takes a little time. Time will heal your wounds, though.

 

I wish you good luck ....

 

~ SwingFox ~

[Amaranth]

yes i really want to wait for her, but i dont want to be attached to her forever if she is not coming back, she is putting me on the back burner which hurts alot, when alot of girls would be putting me on the front, but the chance to be with her again is much better then being with any other girl, what i am afraid is i will move on and get a gf, then in a few months she will come back, and i would dump any girl to be with her, and that wouldnt be fair to anyone envolved. she really hurt me. but i am a better person for it i guess

[SwingFox]

It looks like you made up your mind for now. It might help you a little to give her little signs that you really really care. Tell her how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she is and how cute. Tell her that you really like her. Send her a card once a while that says the same thing. In short: flirt with her... but just that. You could also ask her once a while what's on her mind and if you could help her. Just be careful, don't overdo that.

 

No No's (don't tell her this):

- "I want you back"

- Any reference to the period that you WERE together

- "What is wrong? What did I do wrong?"

- Etc.

- Etc.

 

I hope this was of extra help for you

 

Good luck again!

 

~ SwingFox ~

[Amaranth]

yeah thats what i plan to do, be a romantic type of friend thing, i was thinking of sending her some flowers on valentines day just like "hey happy valentines" and a cd of romantic music "hope ya have a good valentines" would that be over doing it?

[NEBO]

do NOT give her anything on valentine's day.

do NOT do or say ANYTHING that would even give her an inkling that you have feelings for her.

Don't even initiate contact with her!

 

Act like you are over it, happy, you've been on a few dates already, perhaps you're seeing another girl that very night.

You'd love to chat longer with her, but you have things to do (indoor climbing with your friends, appointment with your financial planner, helping a new female friend move furniture, going to visit your folks, etc)

so you'll have to get back to her.

if she ever calls you, you're busy right then and there, you have to hang up, you'll call her back in 20 minutes when you are done. your time is important, you aren't at her beck and call. you can also compose yourself, so that you don't make the fatal mistakes of appearing that you need her, that you feel for her.

 

if i were you, i'd forget about her. you've lost her love, and you've been relegated to "Let's Just Be Friends" land, and from there, my friend, there is no coming back. She'll keep you in her orbit if she can as someone to emotionally abuse when she needs a self-esteem injection (ie; she's feeling down after being knocked back by one of the alpha males she's really chasing, and has to know she can still, as a woman, get a guy jumping with just a call. that'd be you).

 

Forget her. Go (censored) ten other women, and she won't seem so "special" anymore.

 

every relationship i've been in, when i've acted the way a girl allegedly wants a guy to (devotion, affection, attention, commitment, etc) the girl has gone cold so fast there was a sonic boom.

if you always prioritize the girl second, keep in touch with your friends, hobbies, always have fun on your own inside, the girl will stick by you.

 

have a relationship if u need a long term girl in your life. just prioritize the relationship, focus on keeping it healthy and fresh, so it doesn't matter if the girl in it changes. the female can be interchangeable.

 

in a nutshell, forget her mate. all you need to be happy, you have in yourself. there are plenty of girls out there you'll meet another.

my 2 cents.