Bumped into my ex last night! Just need to rant...

[Mustang]

Well, it finally happened. Since splitting at the beginning of November, I hadn't seen my ex in person. Last night however, I was out with some friends and I was standing at the bar waiting to get a drink. I got a tap on my shoulder, I looked behind me and standing there was my ex.

 

At first I was surprised. I didn't expect to see her. In all the time I've been out I've never seen her and I think we were both a bit shocked to see each other.

 

We hugged and had a really nice catch up. She bought me a drink. She introduced me to her uni friends. They were all really nice to me.

 

How do I feel about it? To be honest, I don't know. I know it doesn't mean anything but it was so nice to see her. There was a bit of tension as you would expect but whenever the conversation came round to the break up or "us" then we would both quickly change the subject. I didn't feel sad and I was genuinely happy.

 

She looked amazing. I couldn't take my eyes off her. As far as I was concerned, there was noboby else there.

 

I could sense a bit of awkwardness in the sense that we both didn't really know what to do. I told her it was really nice to see her and that I'd leave her to it but she said: "No. Stay with me if you want to!". So I hung out with her for a bit more. I spoke to one of her guy friends about football and everyone else I met was really cool.

 

I don't think she's got a boyfriend. Obviously, she's a great girl and no doubt she's had lots of attention and things with other guys since we split. In the same way that I have. But if she did have a boyfriend, surely she'd be out with him? Surely she'd not want to hang out with me? Surely she wouldn't buy me a drink?

 

We texted each other on our way home saying it was nice to see one another.

 

The reasons why we split? I was making her my number one priority and she felt smothered. I don't blame her for wanting to end things. The person I was when we split up really wasn't the person I wanted to be. She did me a favour in a way because I have been able to take a good long look at myself and work out my priorities in life. And I have done. I've got lots of exciting things happening right now and I am really ambitious and excited about the future. I spoke about this with my ex. It just feels sad in the sense that the person she broke up with isn't who I am.

 

Last night made me realise how special my ex was to me. I'm pretty certain that I still love her. I'm not upset about not being with her anymore, but I know that I would really want to give things another go if the opportunity came around. She is the most caring girl in the world and OK, maybe she didn't handle the break up very well, but if it was the other way around, I would have probably done the same thing.

 

I need to keep my head straight and not start with all the questions. I just bumped into a friend and that's it. Nothing more than that. But it's so hard. I can't stop thinking about her today. But hopefully she will be thinking about me too.

 

You guys will probably hate me for saying this, but if I wanted her back, what would be the best thing to do next? I played it cool last night. For all she knows, I could be over her and not want her back. Should I just wait and see what happens from now on? Or should I step up and be honest with her. Nothing to lose but everything to gain right? Or should I just be patient and let her come to me if she wants to? Remember, I was clingy and insecure towards the end of our relationship and the last thing I want to do now is appear that way again. But there really has been no other girl in my life in the past four months that comes close to my ex.

[Siriana]

Should I just wait and see what happens from now on?

Or should I just be patient and let her come to me if she wants to?

 

My vote goes to this.

If you contact you immediately after you saw her that will look clingy.

 

Who initiated texting?

[shay.shay82]

You're sounding hysterical, dude, to be honest. It's been four months. She gave no indication that she wants to be back with you. She bought you a drink and talked. Big whoop. This happens with billions of people accross the world on a Saturday night. And just because she was out with friends and not a guy doesn't mean she has no one in her life. A good friend of mine actually danced with an ex at a club and at the end he told her cheerfully that he was about to get engaged. He bought her a drink too.

 

Look, you're probably a nice guy and it chafes me to hear "No other girl comes close" from you. How do you know? It's been FOUR FREAKING MONTHS. Give another girl a shot. If this one wants you back, she'll make the effort, but consider this - in the time its been since she dumped you, the only time you've seen her was by chance - not by her calling you, not by her WANTING to see you. Think about that. Then stop with all this, take the blinders off and go out there and give some thought to a girl or two who actually might want to hang out with you.

[Mustang]

I know I'll calm down. I just had to get everything out. A problem shared and all that. The last thing I want to do is appear clingy. I'll not speak to her and see how things go. I'm going to try and forget last night happened and just carry on with life as normal.

 

By the way, I have been out with a lot of girls since me and my ex split. I am not sitting around waiting for something that may never happen. But every girl I've been with just hasn't done anything for me. Perhaps not their fault, but more that I'm not ready.

 

I agree that we bumped into each other by chance and that I should look at it from that point of view but I'm just trying to be positive about the situation rather than negative.

[Dako]

Don't let your imagination connect the dots toward reconciliation.

She thinks you're a good guy she once dated.

Leave it at that.