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Send The Ex A Get Well Card?

nic2463

By nic2463
in Healing After Break Up or Divorce

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nic2463 Rookie

nic2463

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Me ex girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me after being chased by another guy 2 months ago.They are together and she said they are happy.

This week she is in hospital having a major operation hysterectomy.

Im thinking of sending a get well card.Its not meant as anything but wishing her a quick recovery and to show that i am a decent person.

 

What do you think,send one or not?

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nic2463 Rookie

nic2463

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Nope.

 

She lost any right to your caring about her when she dumped you for another guy.

 

Am I right or am I right?

 

This will do you no good and she'll probably be getting a card from her new boyfriend anyway.

 

Oh yes your right but its not meant as a way to get her back.

5 years with someone is a long time and not even 2 months after we split shes having this major op.It is a caring gesture i agree but is that so bad?

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rapunzel Collaborator

rapunzel

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I think sending a card is a nice gesture. Not know the background and what your current level of contact is with your ex I would send it as long as you have no notions of that it will somehow make her want to get back together with you. That is a major operation and I'm sure she would appreciate that you were thinking of her during such a stressful time. Yes, you are a decent person for thinking to do this. You did spend 5 years of your life with this woman.

 

Forgiveness is important in healing. The human thing to do, ex or no ex, is to send the card. Just my humble opinion of course.

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m12988 Contributor

m12988

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Oh yes your right but its not meant as a way to get her back.

5 years with someone is a long time and not even 2 months after we split shes having this major op.It is a caring gesture i agree but is that so bad?

 

 

Well, you asked for opinions on whether to send the card or not, and now it sounds like you want to. I dont think Andy made it sound like a bad thing, he is just telling you how he'd feel if he were in the situation. Depending on the way the breakup happened, depending on how you are, there are different answers. I mean if all of the sudden she left you for this guy with no warning or no talking about it, then i wouldn't dare wish her well because that would hurt me like heck, personally. But if it was a mutual breakup, a nicer one and you guys talked about it, felt the relationship was coming to an end anyway, then i dont see a problem with sending the card. So whatever you feel like doing, do it because we are not going to be able to make the decision for you.

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CatsMeeoow Collaborator

CatsMeeoow

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I think cards are lovely sentiments often lost on todays world with text messaging and emails.

 

The best statment you can make is a get well card and just 1 sentence at most and sign your name.

 

She will understand that you genuinely care and that you are not pushing for anything mroe. Just be aware that it doesn't mean that she will contact you in any form. But, I will tell you this - she will read the card and think fondly of you for making the effort.

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FreedomRing Enthusiast

FreedomRing

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It's only natural if that's typical of your character as whole..

 

For example, I always tend to send cards or E-cards to those that I may/may not be in constant contact with, yet I still want to send warm wishes, or let them know they're in my thoughts...

 

Also, my ex just had major surgery to his ACL last month(an injury he was deathly afraid of, and also had never went under before)..while I'm still very much on the healing path, I sent him a get well card, because I personally would've wanted the same action done to me...no matter who it was. I feel that it can show your level of maturity IF you can send it as just sincere wishes, and nothing more.

 

P.S. My ex called immediately after checking the mail, and profusely thanked me for the card and the nice gesture--that was over 3 weeks ago and we haven't communicated since, and it's no sweat off my back. So only do if it's out of sympathy, and sympathy ALONE.

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nic2463 Rookie

nic2463

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I think cards are lovely sentiments often lost on todays world with text messaging and emails.

 

The best statment you can make is a get well card and just 1 sentence at most and sign your name.

 

She will understand that you genuinely care and that you are not pushing for anything mroe. Just be aware that it doesn't mean that she will contact you in any form. But, I will tell you this - she will read the card and think fondly of you for making the effort.

 

My thoughts exactly Catsmeeoow.Thankyou im not being dumb.

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lilypadgirl Enthusiast

lilypadgirl

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Well if you're still looking to reconcile, you still have expectations from her. Then any contact with her will give you false hope which would just prevent you from moving on.

 

So as long as you can deal with her not responding or reacting to you at all and your only intent is to wish her well, then the card is a nice and caring gesture. Otherwise, it would only hurt yourself.

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nic2463 Rookie

nic2463

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I think it's a nice gesture. Do you hope to regain her friendship and/or more someday?

 

Dunno.Its just meant as a caring thing as this illness thing started when we were together.Its not part of any plan and as you know Sara im not in contact with her my choice.

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