People with lots of dating experience vs. those without

[Fox1198]

What are your thoughts about people who have a lot of dating experience vs. people who don't?

 

My observation is that attractive people who have dated around a lot are pickier and are quicker to end relationships, meaning they don't try as hard.

 

Whereas those with less experience tend to make mistakes (staying with the wrong person too long), but are more committed. They also hurt themselves more often when they break up.

 

I know all of this is a generalization... but I'd still like to hear your thoughts.

[Goldfish6888]

Hi

Here is my take!

I've dated a lot!

 

I guess it is because I wanted to see "what i like" and also "what I dislike". It also helps me to relate to different kinds of people in all different kinds of ways. In a sense, I would say, you are picky, in that you have "less experience" and "stay with the wrong person too long". I who have dated a lot, won't stay with someone "too long" if they don't treat me well, are not respectful of themselves and of me and also when they don't share the same values. So my advice to you, is don't give your heart away too easily, to ANYONE! Take time before you give your commitment! But in the meantime, date a lot and find out other people that might be fantastic that you might not even have considered. My current boyfriend, is not someone I would have thought I might end up in a serious relationship with, but he is one of the most mature, understanding, respectful human beings I know, AND........I had to kiss a lot of frogs to finally MEET HIM!

 

Good luck!

G Fish

[Gratsy]

I used to get into very long relationships and now I keep my relationships short if I know its not going to work. But thats only because I am looking for a permanent relationship while before I was settling for someone just to be in a comfortable (assumed temporary) relationship at the time.

 

I also don't date as much, so who knows. To me, anyone who has experience tends to be more calloused...they aren't as sensitive and they are less eager to please. it doesn't have to do with being attractive. I think experienced people follow a "quantity over quality" principle which is something I don't respect as much, anyways.

 

I like generalizations but this one is so large it can only be speculatory for me. I don't really know.

 

I do think that attractive people in general don't try as hard, but there are a lot of exceptions.

[Fox1198]

Now another question is, once you've become accustomed to dating around a lot, wouldn't it be hard to commit, since everyone has faults?

 

Plus, since variety has become the norm, wouldn't you get bored rather easily?

 

I mean I see people around me who date around a lot, and it just seems they will never get married.

[Raiden]

What are your thoughts about people who have a lot of dating experience vs. people who don't?

 

My observation is that attractive people who have dated around a lot are pickier and are quicker to end relationships, meaning they don't try as hard.

 

Whereas those with less experience tend to make mistakes (staying with the wrong person too long), but are more committed. They also hurt themselves more often when they break up.

 

I know all of this is a generalization... but I'd still like to hear your thoughts.

 

I don't think experience has any relevance on how a relationship works out. I believe two people either 'click', or they don't.

 

Of course, experience can be helpful if you were to be casually dating. Conversation skills, etc. But in respect of a relationship that lasts more than a couple of dates, no.

[Gratsy]

Good points. I think that some relationships count as relationships and some are just testing the waters...I think its good to test the waters with a lot of people by dating like you did. I don't think its a good idea into actual serious relationships with a large number of people if you are looking for quality.

[ghost69]

just because someone is attractive, doesn't mean they are more picky than another. i think people do date based on their looks though. i'm a pretty in shape guy and i usually only date women that are in shape. things like that.

 

and yes, everyone has faults. but i will date until i find someone i want to spend the rest of my life with. if it never happens, oh well. i'll keep looking.

[Fox1198]

I do think that attractive people in general don't try as hard, but there are a lot of exceptions.

 

Yeah I kinda believe in this too, but it can depend on the age and personality of the person too.

 

I dated this one girl who was quite young (21 at the time). She wasn't too attractive but she treated me like a king.

 

Then I dated an older girl (30) who was very attractive. She was like a queen, always waiting for me to pamper her.

 

So maybe hot girls are for dating, and average-looking girls are for marrying? [flame suit on]

[Gratsy]

Now another question is, once you've become accustomed to dating around a lot, wouldn't it be hard to commit, since everyone has faults?

 

Plus, since variety has become the norm, wouldn't you get bored rather easily?

 

I mean I see people around me who date around a lot, and it just seems they will never get married.

 

No. Variety is a tempting thing but there are people who embody variety in their being one person. There are people who will not bore you. Some people might interest you in the beginning and bore you over time. Find someone who you can be absolutely sure will keep your interest b/c they have their own lives.

 

Dating around a lot has its advantages and disadvantages. You realize that there are a lot of fish in the sea...and yes, you may be more selective. But its not in a bad way.

[Gratsy]

I don't think experience has any relevance on how a relationship works out. I believe two people either 'click', or they don't.

 

Of course, experience can be helpful if you were to be casually dating. Conversation skills, etc. But in respect of a relationship that lasts more than a couple of dates, no.

 

This makes some sense.

 

Yeah I kinda believe in this too, but it can depend on the age and personality of the person too.

 

I dated this one girl who was quite young (21 at the time). She wasn't too attractive but she treated me like a king.

 

Then I dated an older girl (30) who was very attractive. She was like a queen, always waiting for me to pamper her.

 

So maybe hot girls are for dating, and average-looking girls are for marrying? [flame suit on]

 

No, there are attractive women who are definetly for marrying. I mean, if you date someone who only cares about her appearance, than maybe. I'm talking about the women who spend hours trying to look good...you can tell them, the bleach blondes etc...but naturally beautiful women can have other good qualities, lol.

[angelsoft]

What are your thoughts about people who have a lot of dating experience vs. people who don't?

 

My observation is that attractive people who have dated around a lot are pickier and are quicker to end relationships, meaning they don't try as hard.

 

Whereas those with less experience tend to make mistakes (staying with the wrong person too long), but are more committed. They also hurt themselves more often when they break up.

 

I know all of this is a generalization... but I'd still like to hear your thoughts.

 

I wouldn't necessarily say that people with less experience make more mistakes.

No relationship is perfect. Everyone has disagreements.

 

What I've seen in people who don't hold onto relationships is that they tend to be perfectionist. They think that they're supposed to have this "fairytale" relationship and that everything is supposed to perfect. Then when they get comfortable and the magic dies down a little they get scarred and back away.

 

This is with the people that I've known who skip-date. I'm not speaking for everyone who likes to date-around.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I think that younger daters who have little experience tend to be more romantic about it. While older individuals with much more experience are realists.

 

I am 18, so, I am pretty romantic when it comes to my relationship (we're going to be together for forever! yay!).

 

While someone who has loved and lost knows what they want and need more and doesn't settle.

[lilypadgirl]

Actually in my experience (with myself and ex), it's been the opposite!

 

When I had fewer experiences/younger, I was a lot more idealistic about love and the right person. So I was much more picky and ready to break it off when things didn't click. I think that was the same with my ex. He left after our first argument, and I think it's because he used to think I was perfect until then and suddenly realized I wasn't and didn't know how to handle arguments.

 

Now, I realize I'm a lot more willing to commit to a relationship, accept small faults and be more willing to compromise. Instead of thinking, does he fit me, I'm starting to think, are we working out. I think though I'm still picky, but over a broader set of qualities that I know meshes with me, instead of before, it used to be very specific things.

[Gratsy]

Thats interesting. I wasn't very picky when I was younger because I was looking for fun, casual relationships. I dated a LOT more than I do now because I've gotten a lot more specific/aware about what I want...